Internet stress

[thor01]

This might be a similar subject to the internet dating thread, but anyway....
I'm just thinking how much anxiety or stress or feeling of loneliness the internet can actually cause me sometimes haha. Not huge amounts compared to other things of course, and it can of course make me feel the opposite and really help, but,
I'm talking about when active on "internet dating sites" If I were to message someone, I get stressed paranoid when they either don't reply, or do reply but in a very half assed im not interested way, or when it seems like your getting onto something and then they stop because (in my mind) they've come across one of the many "better" guys. Its like real life, only harsher in a way haha. Because when people are hiding behind the screen they care less about hurting someone's feelings. Not that I'd like any to pretend or lie instead, but....you know what i mean.
I just feel like I wont get anything out of that site in the end, after my experience so far with it.

 

[vj288]

This might be a similar subject to the internet dating thread, but anyway....
I'm just thinking how much anxiety or stress the internet can actually cause me sometimes haha. Not huge amounts compared to other things of course but.....
I'm talking about when active on "internet dating sites" If I were to message someone, I get stressed paranoid when they either don't reply, or do reply but in a very half assed im not interested way, or when it seems like your getting onto something and then they stop because (in my mind) they've come across one of the many "better" guys. Its like real life, only harsher in a way haha. Because when people are hiding behind the screen they care less about hurting someone's feelings. Not that I'd like any to pretend or lie instead, but....you know what i mean.

I get stressed out on this site sometimes. A lot of times I think people (myself included) forget there are people on the other end. And even when we don't forget, I don't think it ever fully resonates that it is a fully functioning human being with feelings and emotions just like us.

 

[thor01]

Yeah very true. I dont mind people taking some time to reply, and can understand that they might be busy. But you know, its just when certain things like I mentioned make me feel worse than before, and feel like theres a problem with me, or I havn't got wha other people must have haha. I guess I get tired of putting so much effort in and not really getting further haha.
Sometimes it gets more than other times. I guess I'm just feeling it alot right now.

Its like a double edged sword haha

 

[RelentlessHamster]

I get stressed when I try to reply to everyone ) or when I open too many tabs and then end up not reading them all

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, I can relate to the internet stress! Well said, vj! I can relate to Hamster too, lol!

Some people have told me before that sometimes they just need to take a break from dating sites, and I am like that too.
Also, sometimes I need to take a break from certain forums etc too.

Also know that sometimes people don't reply because they might be busy with something else, or they've come across a 'deal breaker' (and these are always different for different people!) and they don't want to hurt your feelings.. I've had guys reply harshly if I wrote I wasn't that interested or that they were not really my type ('why not? why not?' ugh! ), or they wanted romance even if I said it would be friends-only, so I think it's actually wiser and nicer to not-reply.. It's not necessarily there would be other guys around, sometimes a girl just needs to take a break from the sites too.. It may have nothing to do with you or other guys actually.. Sometimes too many guys write at once, and it can be overwhelming.. (and you might miss them later lol)

So, maybe just take it easy and take a vacation from those sites, and get recharged iRL with some fun activities, and come back later..

I found that if I'm happy and full of energy, people are much happier to reply online too!

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I can totally relate to this thread!! I've dated three guys online and I would get sooo nervous trying to think of the right things to say on messages, especially through Instant Messages. I'm very awkward and not very good at starting conversations and I would get worried that the guy would lose interest in me because I was so boring and I would get really paranoid when they wouldn't message back for a while :/

I agree with you on the "not-interested" replies. I noticed that, whether in general or on a dating site, most people reply with very half-assed replies and don't really make an effort to sound intellectual. Sometimes I think I'm the only one on the internet who rarely uses "text talk" and actually types normal words and uses complete sentences. I don't know why I do it, just a habit I guess, and personally I don't like text talk all that much. It gives me the impression that people can't properly speak in English to others. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you're not actually talking to someone. You can't forget that there's a human being behind that computer screen... I think this is the first *and only* website I've seen where people post comments in complete sentences and don't use "LOL OMG ORLY BTW" a billion times.

 

[thor01]

I can totally relate to this thread!! I've dated three guys online and I would get sooo nervous trying to think of the right things to say on messages, especially through Instant Messages. I'm very awkward and not very good at starting conversations and I would get worried that the guy would lose interest in me because I was so boring and I would get really paranoid when they wouldn't message back for a while :/

I agree with you on the "not-interested" replies. I noticed that, whether in general or on a dating site, most people reply with very half-assed replies and don't really make an effort to sound intellectual. Sometimes I think I'm the only one on the internet who rarely uses "text talk" and actually types normal words and uses complete sentences. I don't know why I do it, just a habit I guess, and personally I don't like text talk all that much. It gives me the impression that people can't properly speak in English to others. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you're not actually talking to someone. You can't forget that there's a human being behind that computer screen... I think this is the first *and only* website I've seen where people post comments in complete sentences and don't use "LOL OMG ORLY BTW" a billion times.

Yeah exactly! Agreed haha.

 

[Feathers]

I think this is the first *and only* website I've seen where people post comments in complete sentences and don't use "LOL OMG ORLY BTW" a billion times.

LOL There was a person who did this and some people were quite upset!
The person then tried and started to write better... he he...

I do use lol and omg occasionally, but that's where it ends, usually...

 

[Dronee]

... I think this is the first *and only* website I've seen where people post comments in complete sentences and don't use "LOL OMG ORLY BTW" a billion times.

Lol... anyone up for the challenge of lolling a billion times?

Yeah.. I feel internet stress, though usually not from this site. I don't know.. sometimes just watching human interaction of most kinds is just draining... couples squabbling, people insulting one another, getting mad... etc.. It gets worse online since there's the anonymity thing. Hehe.. guess you just have to LOL OMG ORLY BTW the stress away... lol.. what am I even saying?

 

[Ignace]

I don't have internet stress. I am vulnerable though for other people showing off their great life. I can't even talk to my best friend on msn anymore because since he has a girlfriend, he changed and now has an over-social-life.

 

[Gerdje]

Well, I has my doc visit me this morning. I talked about this forum where I told him even if I suspect the worst, there are all these people who actually try to understand our problems and recognize so many common feelings, thoughts, way of thinking. He brutally told me I should not trust any internet related things, and was so harsh to say "Of course you will recognize a lot, and of course you find so many people with the same kinds of problems as you, but they're only there when it goes bad, and they feed bad feelings to each other, they won't be there when they actually feel good because then they won't be bound behind their computer".

I was struck from his remarks, and now I even doubt if finding some common souls on the internet is good or bad. It seems like he doesn't want me to read forums and lay all my hopes in his vision of meds, meds and a lot of false hope.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Well, I has my doc visit me this morning. I talked about this forum where I told him even if I suspect the worst, there are all these people who actually try to understand our problems and recognize so many common feelings, thoughts, way of thinking. He brutally told me I should not trust any internet related things, and was so harsh to say "Of course you will recognize a lot, and of course you find so many people with the same kinds of problems as you, but they're only there when it goes bad, and they feed bad feelings to each other, they won't be there when they actually feel good because then they won't be bound behind their computer".

I was struck from his remarks, and now I even doubt if finding some common souls on the internet is good or bad. It seems like he doesn't want me to read forums and lay all my hopes in his vision of meds, meds and a lot of false hope.

So he figures this place has nothing but negativity? I'd say judge for yourself. You shouldn't expect anyone here (or for that matter off the net) to care deeply about you at first, but it is possible to find empathy here, and eventually, perhaps, real friendships.

 

[Gerdje]

So he figures this place has nothing but negativity? I'd say judge for yourself. You shouldn't expect anyone here (or for that matter off the net) to care deeply about you at first, but it is possible to find empathy here, and eventually, perhaps, real friendships.

Yes, that's what he was trying to feed me, I actually didn't say the name of the forum, I just said "a forum" but he immediately interrupted me as soon as he heard the word "internet". I perfectly understand you do not make friends so easily, not even on the net, I was trying to make him aware it was actually the only way to at least feel some "contact", no matter how far away people are, and even reading some hope-giving stories, perhaps just putting a little smile on my face, I might be a very pessimistic individual so I believe seeking some "free" relief or understanding is not good for their medical business, but on the other hand he might be right to not slip away into reading without actual trying, and I know that's my fault, I'm actually in a state of giving up trying, so perhaps he might be correct and he didn't meant it that harsh as I perceived it and just want to make me aware I should try doing more that what I do mostly now, reading forums.