Satine
Well-known member
I can't help but notice that the issue of 'what women/men want' keeps on coming up, more often, it seems, aimed at women. So I propose that a few of us (as many as are willing) note down here just what they want out of a partner, so that we have a list of examples to draw on should claims be made again that 'women want an outstanding man' or 'only alphas get partners', and so on.
Poster First
For me, I am female and I want a partner (preferably male) who:
- is peaceful enough not to start fights, but is strong enough to cope if someone tries to draw him into a fight. I don't want to have to worry that I'll have to try and break up fights, but I want to know that I'm safe with this man. (Note: this doesn't necessarily mean someone who can fight, it can be someone who's able to calm down a situation/stop if from escalating should it continue. My current partner is like this and it works well.)
- has a casual interest in educating himself. I'm not looking for a die-hard academic who I'll have trouble keeping up with over a pint, nor a simpleton who can't grasp what the placebo effect is. I'm interested in someone who's just naturally curious. That's all.
- is practical enough to be able to deal with normal household problems, such as a blocked sink.
- is reasonably tidy. Doesn't need to be a neat-freak, just not someone who leaves his pants on the bedroom floor and expects me to pick them up.
- has a similar musical taste to me (underground dance music).
- doesn't take himself too seriously in the bedroom. (Constantly having to reassure a bloke about penis size gets boring quickly. If it's genuinely an issue there are ways around it, and they don't involve surgery).
- doesn't have too much of a problem showing affection. Just looking like friends when out in public is fine, but I want to be able to elicit a hug when I come home from work etc.
- has a sense of humour. By which I mean, doesn't just give me annoyed looks when I make a joke. Him being silly is a plus but not an essential.
- will tell me if I've got something wrong. I'd rather have the security of this than have a yes-man.
- is secure enough to accept that, if I'm with him, then my exes aren't an issue. If I've moved on, I've moved on. So I want a partner who doesn't obsess about my relationship history.
- has had family difficulties so understands what I mean when I run into difficulties with my own. (Have had big problems with mine and occasionally they still come up, so an understanding of the underlying feelings and conflicting feelings is essential).
Poster First
For me, I am female and I want a partner (preferably male) who:
- is peaceful enough not to start fights, but is strong enough to cope if someone tries to draw him into a fight. I don't want to have to worry that I'll have to try and break up fights, but I want to know that I'm safe with this man. (Note: this doesn't necessarily mean someone who can fight, it can be someone who's able to calm down a situation/stop if from escalating should it continue. My current partner is like this and it works well.)
- has a casual interest in educating himself. I'm not looking for a die-hard academic who I'll have trouble keeping up with over a pint, nor a simpleton who can't grasp what the placebo effect is. I'm interested in someone who's just naturally curious. That's all.
- is practical enough to be able to deal with normal household problems, such as a blocked sink.
- is reasonably tidy. Doesn't need to be a neat-freak, just not someone who leaves his pants on the bedroom floor and expects me to pick them up.
- has a similar musical taste to me (underground dance music).
- doesn't take himself too seriously in the bedroom. (Constantly having to reassure a bloke about penis size gets boring quickly. If it's genuinely an issue there are ways around it, and they don't involve surgery).
- doesn't have too much of a problem showing affection. Just looking like friends when out in public is fine, but I want to be able to elicit a hug when I come home from work etc.
- has a sense of humour. By which I mean, doesn't just give me annoyed looks when I make a joke. Him being silly is a plus but not an essential.
- will tell me if I've got something wrong. I'd rather have the security of this than have a yes-man.
- is secure enough to accept that, if I'm with him, then my exes aren't an issue. If I've moved on, I've moved on. So I want a partner who doesn't obsess about my relationship history.
- has had family difficulties so understands what I mean when I run into difficulties with my own. (Have had big problems with mine and occasionally they still come up, so an understanding of the underlying feelings and conflicting feelings is essential).