I'm in love with Love-shy guy but I'll be crazy soon

[shairybaby]

I'm in love with love-shy guy , he is so kind ,polite and has a warm feelings to me ,I'm sure he loves me deeply but I can't understand his weird reactions , he refused to talk to me in phone or stay with me in any public place ,sometime he can't breath when he talks to me, he has only one answer I can't bear that , he prefer text chat to express him self , he always crazy about my body and dreaming to have sex with me ,is thas normal ? can anybody explain that to me ::

 

[goldatom]

Hi,
Do you suspect he has social-phobia?

 

[shairybaby]

I really don't understand what's his problem , he acts weird only with me but he is friendly and kind with others , he lost control once he noticed me around .

 

[Sial Axetder]

Sounds like he likes you. A lot. Attraction.

Try and help him understand you're nothing to fear. Be patient. Perhaps start by expressing you. Maybe you have? Calm him down when he loses control, if that is possible.

If feelings are mutual, suspected, then you won't mind helping the lad out a bit, yes? Not too much. He must fight through the phobia, love-shyness, whatever. He must fight through it or victory will not be seen.

 

[shairybaby]

I tried but I think he feel safe when he is hiding away of me , he always offline ,keeps ignoring my emails and in other hand he losing weight and looks very depressed , he looking at me all the time and when I look back at him he look down or close his eyes like he has a pain inside with a deep breath

 

[Sial Axetder]

I tried but I think he feel safe when he is hiding away of me , he always offline ,keeps ignoring my emails and in other hand he losing weight and looks very depressed , he looking at me all the time and when I look back at him he look down or close his eyes like he has a pain inside with a deep breath

And you know him? Or getting to know him? I find this offensive to say but he is really acting childish. The closing eyes bit does. Maybe I am over-imagining the site of squinting tightly eyes while he saw you see him.

I think you really must have a heart to heart, face to face talk with him. Hard it will be, so it seems.

 

[bitingthepea]

maybe if you dont contanct him for a while and if he contacts you first you know hell like you ?

if you have good conversations (wether text or email etc) im sure he likes you, you just gota geta know eachother a little more.

 

[A friend]

I tried but I think he feel safe when he is hiding away of me , he always offline ,keeps ignoring my emails and in other hand he losing weight and looks very depressed , he looking at me all the time and when I look back at him he look down or close his eyes like he has a pain inside with a deep breath

He's probably afraid that you'll tease him or make fun of him.


I'm like that too, he most likely experienced horrible things in the past (for instance, he probably got made fun of in school by girls).

 

[Sial Axetder]

He's probably afraid that you'll tease him or make fun of him.


I'm like that too, he most likely experienced horrible things in the past (for instance, he probably got made fun of in school by girls).

huh, never gave this a thought. This is why there are many minds. Something could be missed otherwise.

 

[A friend]

I think the key would be to ask the guy if he were made fun of, and if that's the reason why he's behaving that way.

 

[shairybaby]

He's probably afraid that you'll tease him or make fun of him.


I'm like that too, he most likely experienced horrible things in the past (for instance, he probably got made fun of in school by girls).

I think he maybe afraid to be in love he every time chat with me he talk about his dreams about me for months and when I show any sign of interest he disappear and ignore me and everything from me for weeks and start over again from Zero

 

[A friend]

He might also be afraid that if he were to go out with you, you'd probably end up dumping him or something.

Not that you would do any of that, but he's definitely afraid of being hurt in some kind of way.

 

[kerunia]

Or he may feel that hes not good enough for you. even though he might like you a lot he maybe doesnt want to show his "true side" that he may be hiding because he think hes either too week , too ugly for you etc... and he might idealize you and feel like he wont be able to connect... there could be a lot of reasons really...

 

[shairybaby]

Thank you all ,I appreciate your replies but today he sent me an email and he said I love you more than you think but please stay away of me I can't be with you in anyway stay as a dream to me , and asked me never contact him again , I can't believe that :'(

 

[groovy]

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

[Remus]

I think he needs professional help. For you this seems like torment when you have been very understanding. Save your heart and move on, it's up to him to seek help and fix himself and it's unfair of him if he does love you to put you through this.

 

[NathanielWingateSpaghetti]

IMO I don't think your actually in love with this guy, your infatuated with the idea you have of him. He might be trying to get rid of you the nicest way possible. If he truly loved you he would want to be with you and not want you to stop contacting him. He sounds like a ohhhh nvm, I'm keeping it to myself.

 

[leave_me_alone]

If you really love him, do not give up on him just yet. From what i'v read, i suspect he thinks he is not good enough for you and that might is causing the all the stress when he's around you. He cannot be "himself" when he talks to you in person and that is bother him to the point, he wants you to find someone else (someone better). Apparently he will not be able to do this on his own, so you have to help him. Assure him that you like him for who he really is and that he doesnt need to worry too much, when he's around you, show him you understand how he feels. Let him know that you respect his anxiety and help him overcome it. That is, if you really want to take it serious.

There is a possibility he just want to get rid of you in a nice way, but to me it sounds more like he has some serious anxiety issues.

 

[ConfusedAndLost]

Hey,

I accidently came across it a couple of days ago when I googled 'I am love shy'. It was really weird to read about what you wrote because that is exactly what happened to me. Exactly everything. Except in this case i'm the love shy guy. And I mean everything. From the description of the guy (including the weird eye thing), to the only being able to communicate through text chat, to the message saying that he wants to be alone AND EVEN THE DATES. But in my case she is a girl, whereas as you are a dude. Sertiously if you wenren't a guy I would have thought it was her that wrote everything you said.

Anyways, I know this sounds weird but this kind of phenomeenon has beeen happening through my entire life. Its called Synchronicity. A meaningful coincedence. Google it, its pretty interesting. Anyways, Can you tell what happened in your situation in the end? I know this thread is old and you haven't been active for months but as my name suggests I dont really know what else to do in my situation. So, I guess everything's riding on whether you enabled the 'email when someone replies' feature thing. Sorry, for writning so much, tbh I don't go on forums a lot and for some reason i felt like i had to reply. I guess it makes me feel better jus writing all of this. Thanks.

 

[sai]

Thank you all ,I appreciate your replies but today he sent me an email and he said I love you more than you think but please stay away of me I can't be with you in anyway stay as a dream to me , and asked me never contact him again , I can't believe that :'(

i am the same too... i hav no gf's bcos i run away when a girl liks me...
i hate my self than any1 as ever hated me.....and i like myself the most coz i know that no one liks me and i have to lik my self...coz even i need a little love.... i hope u understand him a little though me...
alrit plzzzzzzz..plzz..u give him some "beta blockers" and then ask him to tak to u...
i never used "beta blockers" bcos i wzz scare to go to a medical store and ask them about it....so u go and get him some pillz.....
i truly hope every thing will be fine with him.......
i hope i am help