I'm fine with it..is anyone else?

[nafadda]

I understand a phobia is a fear,,but does there ever become a point where people just learn to live with something and make the best out of it and even start to enjoy a certain life style,even if it is a not wanting to be around people and socialize???

I ask,because I keep seeing it called a 'problem'...i don't feel it to be a problem at all..in fact i quite enjoy it now,,i love the solitude,the peace..it's nice to me.

with that said,i will admit for many years I was around far too many people and as I mentioned in another thread,I simply OD'd on them..i made a choice to start to live in a more reclusive way about 3 years ago,,now i don't want to go back the 'other' way.

i don't stay indoors..i go outside and enjoy simple beauty and it just feels so liberating to me.when i do have to go out in public(very seldom),it sounds so loud and i actually can't stand it,i know many a writer and actor has done just what i decided to do and they were and are fine with the same sort of lifestyle.

i told someone once,being popular wasn't all it was cracked up to be,since i felt i could not really be myself and had to put on a 'certain' face people expected to see and smile when they wanted me to smile..and at times even when my body was there,my mind was not...nothing like that at all now..now it's just an 'inner peace'.

so when does what some call a 'problem' become something that another may actually enjoy??just a thought to ponder,because i don't wake up and have regrets,i feel feel better then i ever have actually being able to live like this now.

at times i go out to my gate of the sanctuary here i seemed to have created and i really don't feel as if there is anything i need nor want out there,,then i just take a walkabout here and feel just fine..

i made the choice,i just think i enjoy it so much now that it is others that seem to think it's a 'problem'?????

 

[Klaus]

I understand a phobia is a fear,,but does there ever become a point where people just learn to live with something and make the best out of it and even start to enjoy a certain life style,even if it is a not wanting to be around people and socialize???

I ask,because I keep seeing it called a 'problem'...i don't feel it to be a problem at all..in fact i quite enjoy it now,,i love the solitude,the peace..it's nice to me.

with that said,i will admit for many years I was around far too many people and as I mentioned in another thread,I simply OD'd on them..i made a choice to start to live in a more reclusive way about 3 years ago,,now i don't want to go back the 'other' way.

i don't stay indoors..i go outside and enjoy simple beauty and it just feels so liberating to me.when i do have to go out in public(very seldom),it sounds so loud and i actually can't stand it,i know many a writer and actor has done just what i decided to do and they were and are fine with the same sort of lifestyle.

i told someone once,being popular wasn't all it was cracked up to be,since i felt i could not really be myself and had to put on a 'certain' face people expected to see and smile when they wanted me to smile..and at times even when my body was there,my mind was not...nothing like that at all now..now it's just an 'inner peace'.

so when does what some call a 'problem' become something that another may actually enjoy??just a thought to ponder,because i don't wake up and have regrets,i feel feel better then i ever have actually being able to live like this now.

at times i go out to my gate of the sanctuary here i seemed to have created and i really don't feel as if there is anything i need nor want out there,,then i just take a walkabout here and feel just fine..

i made the choice,i just think i enjoy it so much now that it is others that seem to think it's a 'problem'?????

What about money? College? Work?

My goal is to become a millionaire, to buy an Island at the Caribbean and stay their forever. That would be true happiness.

 

[black-wings]

Well, I guess its all up to the individual honestly. I want to make friends, socialize and enjoy the world around me. But you're right though. TOO MANY people can be a catalyst for all sorts of problems. Me personally, I am more comfortable with my social phobia but I don't want it to dominate my life and hinder me from seeing my goals and dreams come to fruition. Again, its all a personal choice.

 

[nafadda]

ahhhhh yes..'what about money' as was mentioned???...well in time one may find out money and happiness do not walk'arm in arm'..that one you will just have to either trust me on or find out for yourself...in time of cousre.

i can go out and socialize if i wish,,i just wish not to and because of that people seem to want to label it now,,why must some label a personal choice i guess is what i'm asking,?????

and if a person is fine with it,why think of it as a 'problem'??? perhaps more of an individuals own choice to do so.....many people i have been friends with seem to think it means something has 'happened' to me..i feel well perhaps it has,but it doesn't mean it's a 'bad thing'.

 

[black-wings]

why must some label a personal choice i guess is what i'm asking,?????.

well, because its out of the social norm. like being gay, not believing in God etc., its a choice MOST wouldnt make. so because of that, people question it. Its not a bad thing at all, its just different.

 

[Klaus]

nafadda, I would like to live like that but I cant. I would starve to death after few months. no work no food.

 

[Ignace]

Because I stopped forcing me out, it doesn't mean I like living like this. So you can get a die hard "No!" from me.

 

[BlackPuma]

I used to look at it as a problem, but I don't really do that anymore.

Like you, I also enjoy certain parts of it. Including enjoying simple things (as well as complex things, mind you. ;3). Being more appreciative about certain things in life that many seem to take for granted

My only obstruction was/is finance. But after a lot of effort and therapy I was able to change- and motivate myself (without overhauling myself) enough to obtain a simple job as a long-term intern. And as far as I'm concerned, if I'll be able to make a sufficient living eventually, I'll be perfectly happy doing something that others deem ''meaningless''.

I like the simple life better anyway. :3

 

[fitftw]

while I don't mind staying inside for days on end, it sure as hell gets depressing after a while. Too bad there's no beauty outside around my area.

 

[nafadda]

while I don't mind staying inside for days on end, it sure as hell gets depressing after a while. Too bad there's no beauty outside around my area.

i can understand that..if you live in an area without much beauty it would prob not be so nice to do..as i said,,i go outside daily and go for walks and see all kinds of beauty without having to leave here,so i'm lucky in that part...though it was NOT always the case.i just was fortunate to find a place 10 years ago that i thought would be perfect to turn into a sanctuary that i was wanting to not leave one day...thats why i don't find it a problem now...when i did get to this point (and trust me it was not overnight),it just felt right,,thats the only way i can explain it...thats why i find it so odd now that some people find it an odd thing,,i mean,after all..it is MY life i tell them,and since i do not tell others what they MUST be doing,i wonder why some have the need to try and do that with me,,,*shakes my head**

 

[Felgen]

Not to break the good spirit, but how the hell do you make the most out of social phobia? My dreams are to get a beautiful wife, children and a job that pays well enough for a house and a car, + getting buff. Only the latter is possible if your social anxiety is severe.

I've reached the point where I can work, date and so on, but I still live at home besides my studies and days like new years eve are still a slap in the face and a reminder of how everyone else doesn't have anxiety.

 

[fitftw]

I wish I could get the hell out of this house and go party tonight, but I won't because I don't fit in anywhere. I'm just slowly rotting away in this bed unable to function.

 

[black-wings]

Not to break the good spirit, but how the hell do you make the most out of social phobia? My dreams are to get a beautiful wife, children and a job that pays well enough for a house and a car, + getting buff. Only the latter is possible if your social anxiety is severe.

I've reached the point where I can work, date and so on, but I still live at home besides my studies and days like new years eve are still a slap in the face and a reminder of how everyone else doesn't have anxiety.

you summed up everything i feel. thank you!

 

[Kat]

It’s usually not a good thing to accept something that’s considered a disorder but it I think it is misunderstood and with current technology there would be ways that people like us could get along in the world, it’s not quite there yet but that would be my ideal way of living! I think if we could live how we wanted we probably wouldn’t have a problem, I guess what makes it an illness in my mind is the similar thought patterns we have people can think alike but there’s a definite pattern, but I also see many good things about social phobia. I think its ok if that’s what makes you happy and you aren’t jeopardizing your health or what you want out of life, jus to avoid people.

 

[Pookah]

On some level I actually don't even want to be that social. I would like to be able to connect with people who are compatible with me but otherwise I don't like most people enough to be around them.

 

[nafadda]

Not to break the good spirit, but how the hell do you make the most out of social phobia? My dreams are to get a beautiful wife, children and a job that pays well enough for a house and a car, + getting buff. Only the latter is possible if your social anxiety is severe.

I've reached the point where I can work, date and so on, but I still live at home besides my studies and days like new years eve are still a slap in the face and a reminder of how everyone else doesn't have anxiety.

if you would REALLY like me to answer this with MY opinion and what I see as part(a BIG part)of the problem is,I will..BUT,,be sure you are ready to want to hear that which you may not like if you really want to know the answer....remember that line jack nicholson used in " a few good men" ..before you actually say yes....

i knew when i brought up the subject it may turn a bit controversially ,but ,,i do not shy away from how i feel.i just know what worked and what did not work for me,but if you want me to tell you what looks to be a BIG part of the problem i will continue later.

 

[anomicdeer]

I want him with me right now.
I miss him so much.

 

[Felgen]

if you would REALLY like me to answer this with MY opinion and what I see as part(a BIG part)of the problem is,I will..BUT,,be sure you are ready to want to hear that which you may not like if you really want to know the answer....remember that line jack nicholson used in " a few good men" ..before you actually say yes....

i knew when i brought up the subject it may turn a bit controversially ,but ,,i do not shy away from how i feel.i just know what worked and what did not work for me,but if you want me to tell you what looks to be a BIG part of the problem i will continue later.

Yes, I would like to know your personal opinion on how one can make the most out of social phobia. Even if you do manage to make the most of it, your life would probably be better without it.

Social anxiety can be compared to a physical injury. A man who is paralyzed from below the neck can make the most out of this by watching cartoons, but his life would still be much better if he could move again.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Well, if you can function that way, it's not a problem at all.
But most of us who have social anxiety can't function right in front of others. Where's your social experience going to come from?
Most likely in the situation you're describing, one would already have had the social connectivity to be able to live a quiet lone life later on.
I can't speak for everyone, but in my case, I love being alone but at the same time my only dream is to have a place of my own, a wife I love, and kids some day.
It's not that living alone is bad. It's that most of us want to be able to socialize if we want to live a full life, but we can't.

 

[Klaus]

What about money to live? How do you earn your money, nafadda?
I don't want to sound rude, if you don't want to answer just ignore me.