I'm destined to be alone forever..
- Thread starter Vanialo28
- Start date
Vanialo28 said:
I'm very very loyal but have never been married, I've been the one who has been cheated on in my two long term relationships, I think it's all about people characters to be honest.
I respect your views though and hope maybe you can meet some christian guy that shares them
recluse
Well-known member
I have no interest in skanky party girls whatsoever, in fact i hate them!
I much prefer decent women who don't drink too much and sleep around. It makes me depressed because the only form of social life around here seems to consist of getting as drunk as possible, and then finding someone to make out with/sleep with......Not my cup of tea! My life feels empty because i have zero social life yet i bet the guys i know who do this every weekend have also empty lives.
I don't understand why anyone would think of women who are conservative and have morals as being boring o'r weird! My female friend who lives in another country is a devout Roman catholic and does not drink and lives a decent life, and even though i am not religious i respect her highly.
I much prefer decent women who don't drink too much and sleep around. It makes me depressed because the only form of social life around here seems to consist of getting as drunk as possible, and then finding someone to make out with/sleep with......Not my cup of tea! My life feels empty because i have zero social life yet i bet the guys i know who do this every weekend have also empty lives.
I don't understand why anyone would think of women who are conservative and have morals as being boring o'r weird! My female friend who lives in another country is a devout Roman catholic and does not drink and lives a decent life, and even though i am not religious i respect her highly.
no1
Banned
Vanialo28 said:no1 said:
Hey, I know what you mean.. Do you know what I did when I was 18? I rushed into getting married because I thought that if I didn't take that chance, I'd never be able to marry again because no other guy would even look my way just because I was very shy. It ruined my life.. I had no idea what I was doing and am now, ten years later, still suffering the consequences of making such a stupid decision. Don't rush things, believe me, your time will come and you'll meet someone special. Sometimes it comes really late in life but it's better late than never. There are certain things we should take care of before going into a relationship. A career, is important, like you said, and asking yourself if you've got what it takes to make someone else happy doesn't hurt either.
Don't have sex with someone just because you're horny LOL!You only lose your virginity once so make sure you do it with someone really special. It'll make your relationship with her really solid, believe me. If you can, (good luck!! lol!) try to look for a girl that hasn't had sex either. You'll have better chances of being successful in a relationship if you do.
Well some people seem to think they can do with getting married at a young age while they are beginning to go to college or are in college. I guess it's one of those things where you have to be 'extra faithful'.. but yeah it can be hard to even have a relationship when you aren't even fully 'grown' yet and are very busy getting your life together such as starting a new career path and going to school or whatever.
IMO i'd hate to wait until I'm 30 or so because then I'll be too old and "the women" will be old as well. The body starts to give in to old age at 23 yrs old supposedly and also 19 yrs of age is supposedly our 'prime' so... And most likely NOBODY is going to wait to have sex because we all have to fulfill our biological needs as a human being to save from going insane and severely imbalanced in many aspects. Love is also never guaranteed so most are content to just enjoy life as much as they can (and others as well) because life can be short, stupid, and then we die, etc (a lot of the time).
To save all such imbalances we should all just have our domestic lives (including 'love' or whatever) in order first because otherwise everything else might just fall apart. But you know life is always (or "never") fair. :?
Dave_McFadden
Well-known member
Well, for you, the solution actually does seem pretty cut and dry. If you're dating someone, and he starts pressuring you to have sex before marriage, dump him. Either said than done, I know, but it does seem to be the most consistent with your values. Sure, you might be lonely for the rest of your life on earth, but the most important thing is doing God's will. Small price to pay for the possibility of eternal life afterwards!
Ahem. 30 is NOT old.
no1 said:
Ahem. 30 is NOT old.
Hoth
1
no1 said:
Heh. Believe it or not, there is life after 23... and we're not shuffling around with walkers either. I don't think physical decline is noticeable at all until your 40s, and it usually doesn't get too bad until 60s or 70s.
And most likely NOBODY is going to wait to have sex because we all have to fulfill our biological needs as a human being to save from going insane and severely imbalanced in many aspects.
I would not classify myself as "insane" nor "severely imbalanced." Either I have really low libido or people make sex sound a lot more important than it has to be. Or maybe if you're social it suddenly becomes a much greater impulse.
Side note: though a perpetual virgin myself, I think waiting for marriage is a damagingly outdated idea, a custom created in an age when everybody was forcibly married off by 15 which the church clings to in an entirely different modern context. It drives people into ill-considered marriages and at the very least it seems to make more sense to sample all of what you're signing up for before you sign the contract, now that we're in an era of choice when we marry for love instead of to benefit the family. And when rolled into abstinence-only sex ed, the wait-till-marriage preaching kills millions of people every year.
My great-aunt married for the first time in her 80s, so it's never too late for love, though I'm fortunately ignorant of her sex life.
Vanialo28 said:
People who have a different system of morality from you are not morally loose, they're morally different. They're only loose if they have the same beliefs as you and just aren't following them.
Ebbe
Well-known member
All people are actually "morally different", but yet in many ways "morally similar". I read this very interesting article in Nature about why this could be:
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v447/n7146/full/447768a.html
Sorry for being a bit off-topic
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v447/n7146/full/447768a.html
Sorry for being a bit off-topic
Hoth
1
Vanialo28 said:
Socrates disposed of this argument 2500 years ago. Read the Euthaphro. If things are good because they're loved by the gods, then they're utterly arbitrary and genocide becomes good on a whim -- in order words, under divine command theory there is no real morality and everything is mere obedience. You might want to teach that to a young child (obey your parents just because), but certainly not to an adult. Anybody who believes in a benevolent god must necessarily believe that god has good reasons for his judgments. Would not the most pious course of action be to study his judgments to understand the systems behind them?
If the gods have reasons for choosing something as good and something as bad, then anyone who respects those gods should think through the reasons. God gave you the mental faculties to evaluate things. If he'd wanted to toss all the answers in your lap he wouldn't have bothered giving you a brain, and he'd appear on television every night issuing specifics instead of expecting you derive the rest from a relatively short 2000 year old book.
Morally different? You're either a moral person or you're not, there's no in between. You can use all the euphemisms you'd like but it doesn't alter the truth..
The truth is, just about every single person in the world a few hundred years ago would be morally reprehensible by today's standards. The truth is, what's good in one context can be disastrously bad in another context.
Utilitarianism is the most simplistic, largely accurate guide: what's good is what benefits the collective. This fits the pattern of your god's proclamations fairly well, so don't you think you'd be obeying your religion a lot better if you connected the dots yourself and were able to evaluate situations on your own, instead of waiting around for a divine proclamation on each and every issue you face in your life (which will never come)?
Then for corner cases you can find different answers via Kantian approach, emotivism or the like. Personally I'm a fan of virtue ethics as described by Alasdair Macintyre, in which morality is a personal craft (thus moral worth of a person is judged not directly by the effect on the world, but by their skill at the craft) in which the object is to achieve the archetypal "good life" of the society at issue. This societal good life needs to be grounded in more intersubjective/objective considerations that I won't bore everyone with.
There's also a lot of promise in biological investigations of the nature of morality. If you believe humans are created by god, then you should be interested in how he designed the moral judgment centers of your brain.
If you have no theory for a pattern of god's commandments, then you don't understand what god means by morality whatsoever. Though you may obey the letter of the very most specific proclamations, you ignore the wider point of your religion and are unable to adjust to circumstances.
I'm not attacking anyone or being rude because they have a different opinion so please do the same for me..
You're calling us morally loose and saying the world has gone to hell because of us, and you look forward to our divinely-ordained deaths any day now... if that isn't insulting, nothing is. I have nothing against you, however, I'm only criticizing your manner of reasoning (which isn't reasoning at all, but appeal to somebody else's interpretation of a book). What else do you expect me to do with my philosophy degree if not complain about poor philosophy I encounter?
If you're actually interested in morality, start thinking about it instead of just quoting it. You may continue to believe the exact same moral precepts, but you will actually have reason to believe them and your faith will just justified and strengthened.
Ericisme
Well-known member
What you said is exactly what I was trying to say. Listening to you guys talk about god, quoting his words or whatever, kinda pointless.Vanialo28 said:Ericisme said:
That is pathetic.. That is why websites like this get on my nerves.. instead of looking for solutions for problems people decide to become perpetual victims. Sometimes others try to empathize with our problems and even offer help but some of us resist any efforts toward change and even get offended when someone shows some concern. We're all victims of none other than ourselves. You can't blame God or anyone else for the choices you make in life, especially not for your life's circumstances because you're the one in control of those things. If your life sucks it is your fault! Do something about it and stop blaming others for your misfortune..
bleach
Banned
Vanialo28 said:
What you may not realize is that criticizing others DOES give us psychological relief. It's not pointless at all. It's a comfort to call people sinful, especially when their lives are happier than ours, or they are more attractive than us, or they are smarter . It's comforting to lash out at the people we perceive as superior. This is exactly the reason you and most other miserable people label the rest of the world so harshly.
The problem with this situation is...
That was a poignant statement you made. Too bad you ONLY applied it to the people criticizing you, and cannot recognize the same behavior in yourself. Or perhaps you recognize the behavior, but aren't willing to step out of your comfort zone yet. I find it telling that you even blame the Devil in one post. We love that feeling of blaming so much, we even invent beings to hate and judge. The shame is that you are only destroying yourself with this thinking, whilst the relief you gain is fleeting.