I'm destined to be alone forever..
- Thread starter Vanialo28
- Start date
Ericisme
Well-known member
Exactly! Most men are after that, I'm sure most men here are too, but not all are. But in the cases with some, they don't give a shit about sex. For me I'd say it's the feeling of being wanted\loved, that's all I'm after, having somebody else care for you that you can care for too. Not a party girl, she would end up going to a party and finding a new guy, that's the reason I would prefer a girl with SP also, less likely chance of them breaking your heart.Remus said:
Plus it would be something we have in common that we could work to overcome together, getting over SP would be soo much easier doing it with somebody you love. I couldn't imagine what that would feel like, it's all I'm looking forward too. I'm sure their is plenty of men that would want something to do with you, you would be more trusting, loving, and caring than a party girl, which some of the people would prefer over sexy.
But I still do feel the same as you, because them guys are the ones who will take the nice girls like you, leaving nobody for people like me, but they would probably be happier with the jerks than me anyway.
jamez
Well-known member
Sex is a part of it but not the be all and end all. The labels I don't really agree with though, of course you can be in a loving sexual relationship without being married, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And the girl doesn't even have to be a partying type.
If you do find someone who loves you, they would respect your decision on the matter. So theres no need to conform if you're not comfortable with it. Believe me there are people out there who admire and respect people like you, myself included.
If you do find someone who loves you, they would respect your decision on the matter. So theres no need to conform if you're not comfortable with it. Believe me there are people out there who admire and respect people like you, myself included.
GloomySunday
Well-known member
To my way of thinking, the views expressed in the opening thread appear to be a little too black and white. That women either believe that sex should be saved for marriage, or they're "whores". Conversely, men are either chaste, moral creatures, or they're like animals and will go with anyone. Again, it's too polar. Too extreme.
I've been married and I have also had other relationships, so I can appreciate both sides...and also the fact that there are many shades of grey.
Whilst I don't think that sex should necessarily be saved for marriage, I do think that it works best within the context of a genuine, loving relationship. That doesn't always mean long term, but there has to be something there. A passion. A spark. Respect. Friendship. Whatever it is. Sometimes it's intangible. But you know inside your heart if it's right. Both of you do. And that's enough. That's all you need.
You should always trust your feelings, not rules dictated by society, religion or otherwise. Anything that is loving between two people is alright. There's too much hatred in this world.
I've been married and I have also had other relationships, so I can appreciate both sides...and also the fact that there are many shades of grey.
Whilst I don't think that sex should necessarily be saved for marriage, I do think that it works best within the context of a genuine, loving relationship. That doesn't always mean long term, but there has to be something there. A passion. A spark. Respect. Friendship. Whatever it is. Sometimes it's intangible. But you know inside your heart if it's right. Both of you do. And that's enough. That's all you need.
You should always trust your feelings, not rules dictated by society, religion or otherwise. Anything that is loving between two people is alright. There's too much hatred in this world.
sleepysparrow
Well-known member
GloomySunday said:
This is so true, Chris.
There is someone out there, for everyone. Someone will love you for who you are, and not expect you to be anything more than you can be, and not demand things that society demands, and love you for your flaws, and love you unconditionally.
Ericisme
Well-known member
sleepysparrow said:
Lets hope... but obviously that isn't true. I hate getting my hopes up, so it's better to not believe that. Otherwise you will live a life thinking your not gonna end up alone forever, but end up alone forever. You can look for somebody, but don't hope for anybody.
sleepysparrow
Well-known member
Ericisme said:
Well, it's more important to be happy with yourself, but have some faith in others as well. You don't have to hope, or look, or wait, for anyone, but I have to disagree with you because I think it's better to believe in this love than to lose hope completely.
Ericisme
Well-known member
Yea, well the only reason I'm gonna be alive next year or 2 is the possibility of finding somebody, I'm just trying to tell myself that I might as well live until I'm 20 and who knows, I might find somebody, but not to get my hopes up. But I sorta already know it's nearly impossible, nobody has their standards as low as me, so even if I'm nice and could live with somebody forever better than a jerk(from what friends tell me), all girls still don't look in my direction when they got dozens of other guys hundreds of times better than me in every way, from what your able to tell just from looking at a profile.
Vanialo28, where do you look for guys? Maybe you look for them in the wrong places. Usually the jerks(pretty,horny,talented,)are the ones only caring about sex. That's why I'd rather find a girl with SP also, they aren't like normal people, don't care as much about sex, won't cheat on you, less likely to leave you, I know I'd be to afraid to even mention sex with a GF, wouldn't care all that much either way.
Vanialo28, where do you look for guys? Maybe you look for them in the wrong places. Usually the jerks(pretty,horny,talented,)are the ones only caring about sex. That's why I'd rather find a girl with SP also, they aren't like normal people, don't care as much about sex, won't cheat on you, less likely to leave you, I know I'd be to afraid to even mention sex with a GF, wouldn't care all that much either way.
Vanialo28 said:
Adultery is wrong yes but sex? you mean sex in general or in marraige also?
Maybe take a good long look at all of this, Jesus did teach about love, are you denying yourself this by adhering too much to the old testament?
What would Jesus tell you to do if he knocked on your door? I see him as a pretty relaxed and approachable guy unlike the judgemental god of the old testament. To me his message was of love, dont miss out on that mate
kiwimanji
Member
Vanialo28 said:I've been analyzing people's behavior nowadays and honestly think that it's not possible for me to be in a lasting relationship with anyone anymore. Here's why, I've been taught sice a very early age that sex should come after marriage but unfortunately, no one does that anymore. Men are after sex and most women have become so morally loose that getting it is no longer a challenge for them like it used to be.
So.. guys go for the skanky, fun, party girls and want nothing to do with women like me. I don't really understand the opposite sex. If women behave like those party girls that they secretly love so much, they're automatically labeled "whores" (which is true!), but if they're conservative, respectable, and have good morals, they're labeled "uptight", "weird", and "old-fashioned". Do you guys really prefer women like that? People often forget a very important little four letter word.. Love. We all need someone who loves us by our side and will never be happy unless we have that.
Men want nothing to do with women like me but I think It's better to be lonely for the rest of my life than it is for me to turn into something I absolutely detest in order to have someone by my side.. temporarily!! I"m very afraid to be taken advatage of and I'll only be with someone who respects and accepts what I stand for. If a man really loves a woman, that won't be too much to ask.. right? 8O
Anyway.. this is what I do when I'm not busy.. I think too much!
You know, girls can be the same way too. But if you ask me what type of girl I prefer, I'd take the girl who is "uptight'' any day of the week over the skanky, party animal type. Because as a virgin myself, I think I can relate. And not all guys are after sex. All guys think of sex, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't want a meaningful relationship. I've always thought that sex was an intimate thing that you do with someone you love and care for and trust deeply. Anyways, I hope that one day you'll find someone who cares deeply for you and can love you for who you are.
Hmmm I've seen dreadful marriages and beautiful non marriages and vice versa, I've never really seen the difference apart from some service, abit of chanting and signing paper's.
To me a sin would be to get married for religious reasons but share no love, as some religions consider divorce a sin.
I've sinned in non marriage relationships and had children out of wedlock, when it comes to passing over and judged for my sins, I wouldn't want to be a part of any heaven that considered that as sinful behaviour as it was all done out of love and nothing twisted or evil.
To me a sin would be to get married for religious reasons but share no love, as some religions consider divorce a sin.
I've sinned in non marriage relationships and had children out of wedlock, when it comes to passing over and judged for my sins, I wouldn't want to be a part of any heaven that considered that as sinful behaviour as it was all done out of love and nothing twisted or evil.
no1
Banned
not everyone is just looking for sex. In my case.. I want a good relationship, and I'm a guy. I've never had a girlfriend either. Though it does kinda suck being a virgin cuz.. at this point I do want to fulfill my biological needs so I don't become all imbalanced, and I may even be imbalanced until I fulfill those needs, which makes it harder to find a good relationship because if it so makes me so "imbalanced" than it makes any relations with people harder and makes 'sex' out to be the forefront of a relationship even if I don't want it. I do my best though.
I believe that since we have urges that appear at the beginning of our adolescence, sometimes 'waiting for marriage' isn't all that natural for marriage may only come much later in life especially in these times. With this industrial society it is common for people to marry only after they have finished college, or settled down and have a stable career or life, which in these days may occur much later in life, and of course much later after your hormones start "acting up". Humans used to live until we were about 30-40 so marriage back in the day at a younger age was more common, and even so our urges act up around the teen ages just for that reason. Now this industrial society is kind of imposing on us all these new ideals which may not even be too realistic for our biology.
Not that I believe in materialism. We also evolve, we have to make the best out of our lives. We can still live monogamously, really it's our personal choice whether we want to be monogamous or polygamous. Right now in my situation I prefer monogamy, though it might be hard to manage my life so it can be good for that.
I dont know.. I'm tired I'm sorry. I dont know what I'm posting and I have to stop.
peace
I believe that since we have urges that appear at the beginning of our adolescence, sometimes 'waiting for marriage' isn't all that natural for marriage may only come much later in life especially in these times. With this industrial society it is common for people to marry only after they have finished college, or settled down and have a stable career or life, which in these days may occur much later in life, and of course much later after your hormones start "acting up". Humans used to live until we were about 30-40 so marriage back in the day at a younger age was more common, and even so our urges act up around the teen ages just for that reason. Now this industrial society is kind of imposing on us all these new ideals which may not even be too realistic for our biology.
Not that I believe in materialism. We also evolve, we have to make the best out of our lives. We can still live monogamously, really it's our personal choice whether we want to be monogamous or polygamous. Right now in my situation I prefer monogamy, though it might be hard to manage my life so it can be good for that.
I dont know.. I'm tired I'm sorry. I dont know what I'm posting and I have to stop.
peace