awkwardamanda
Well-known member
My brother's fiancée is a teacher and she just happens to have a colleague who taught me and my brother when we were kids. She called me the other day and said they were talking and thought maybe I'd like to meet her son for coffee or whatever sometime. I took math and stats in school and he apparently did something similar and got into accounting or something. I was like "I don't know what to say to that." She was trying to talk me into it and said that it's not like an arranged marriage or anything and that they could be there too if I wanted. I repeated a few times that I didn't know what to say and I asked if she needed an answer right away. All I could say was maybe and she said, "Maybe's good."
I got off the phone and I was like, "That was a weird conversation." My mom had heard the whole thing so I told her about it and she made this weird face and said, "That's out the blue." No kidding it was out of the blue. I was totally caught off guard. It didn't help that I was already in a bad mood. I had just got off the phone with my mom's cousin who drives me nuts when she calls. She talks and talks and talks, and it is impossible to get off the phone with her. So I got stuck on the phone for about an hour and I had already been trying to get out of the house.
A little while later she called back and talked to my mom and I heard, "No, she's not angry. It was just out of the blue." I was actually upset about it. Not exactly angry, but I was not in a good mood after that.
So later that night, my mom asked if I had thought about it. I said, "I don't really want to but I'll look like a bitch if I don't." She said she asked if this was something they cooked up or if he was okay with it and apparently he is. So if I say no I risk offending both of them since he already knows. I don't know whose idea this was. My mom told me I need to get out and meet people my age. Apparently this guy just moved home from some other city and he works some place where he doesn't meet people. His high school friends want to party and he doesn't. My mom said maybe nothing will become of it but it could just be a friend. I still said I don't know. She also suggested we could talk on the internet, which I might be alright with, but it doesn't change the real issue.
The thing is, I am totally ashamed of myself right now and in no position to be dating anyone. I'm almost 29 years old, I'm unemployed, and I still live with my parents. That's not exactly appealing. I finished university five years ago. I worked in retail for a long time afterward and I'm trying to find something else. It isn't going well. I'm getting tired of explaining that to people I know, never mind strangers. It's embarrassing. I really don't even want to consider dating anyone until I find a job and move out. Not that I would suddenly have a bunch of guys asking me out, but I'd be more open to the possibility.
This isn't even a case of somebody asking me out and me having to say yes or no. It feels like I'm being set up on a blind date. It doesn't even matter if it's intended as a date or just something platonic, or whatever the hell happens. It still feels that way. I don't want to go on a blind date. I'm not that outgoing. I don't just want to go meet a stranger on my own cause it's gonna be horribly uncomfortable and there would probably be a lot of awkward silence.
So my mom asked me today, "Are you gonna go meet that guy," and I reluctantly said, "I guess." She was like, "You should cause if you show no interest…" She was talking to my brother and it sounds like this guy was asking about me or something. Apparently my brother's fiancée said she would go along if I want. I said, "Okay, cause if I go meet some stranger alone it's like I'm being set up on a blind date and I'm not okay with that." Then at least it's not like a date, but it's gonna be uncomfortable no matter what. I still haven't actually given her an answer. I've been putting it off.
I feel like this is an obligation though. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm not doing this for me. I feel like I'm being a people pleaser and just doing this for everyone else's sake. I guess if I choose not to meet someone I know almost nothing about, that makes me a judgemental bitch.
I just hate the fact that other people feel they have to step in and do things for me. Like they assume I'd like to be out meeting people and going on dates but I kinda don't care. I don't want a boyfriend as much as people think I do. Not right now, anyway. I never even make comments that might imply I'm lonely and want to find a guy. My brother jokes that I'm a lesbian but I don't think he's completely joking. If I refuse to meet this guy, that would give him more reason to think so. I'd rather just let things happen on their own and if nothing happens, fine. Apparently, no one else is okay with that.
I think I'm screwed no matter what I do here. If I don't go, I'm rude. If I do, I'm going with a negative attitude about it.
I got off the phone and I was like, "That was a weird conversation." My mom had heard the whole thing so I told her about it and she made this weird face and said, "That's out the blue." No kidding it was out of the blue. I was totally caught off guard. It didn't help that I was already in a bad mood. I had just got off the phone with my mom's cousin who drives me nuts when she calls. She talks and talks and talks, and it is impossible to get off the phone with her. So I got stuck on the phone for about an hour and I had already been trying to get out of the house.
A little while later she called back and talked to my mom and I heard, "No, she's not angry. It was just out of the blue." I was actually upset about it. Not exactly angry, but I was not in a good mood after that.
So later that night, my mom asked if I had thought about it. I said, "I don't really want to but I'll look like a bitch if I don't." She said she asked if this was something they cooked up or if he was okay with it and apparently he is. So if I say no I risk offending both of them since he already knows. I don't know whose idea this was. My mom told me I need to get out and meet people my age. Apparently this guy just moved home from some other city and he works some place where he doesn't meet people. His high school friends want to party and he doesn't. My mom said maybe nothing will become of it but it could just be a friend. I still said I don't know. She also suggested we could talk on the internet, which I might be alright with, but it doesn't change the real issue.
The thing is, I am totally ashamed of myself right now and in no position to be dating anyone. I'm almost 29 years old, I'm unemployed, and I still live with my parents. That's not exactly appealing. I finished university five years ago. I worked in retail for a long time afterward and I'm trying to find something else. It isn't going well. I'm getting tired of explaining that to people I know, never mind strangers. It's embarrassing. I really don't even want to consider dating anyone until I find a job and move out. Not that I would suddenly have a bunch of guys asking me out, but I'd be more open to the possibility.
This isn't even a case of somebody asking me out and me having to say yes or no. It feels like I'm being set up on a blind date. It doesn't even matter if it's intended as a date or just something platonic, or whatever the hell happens. It still feels that way. I don't want to go on a blind date. I'm not that outgoing. I don't just want to go meet a stranger on my own cause it's gonna be horribly uncomfortable and there would probably be a lot of awkward silence.
So my mom asked me today, "Are you gonna go meet that guy," and I reluctantly said, "I guess." She was like, "You should cause if you show no interest…" She was talking to my brother and it sounds like this guy was asking about me or something. Apparently my brother's fiancée said she would go along if I want. I said, "Okay, cause if I go meet some stranger alone it's like I'm being set up on a blind date and I'm not okay with that." Then at least it's not like a date, but it's gonna be uncomfortable no matter what. I still haven't actually given her an answer. I've been putting it off.
I feel like this is an obligation though. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm not doing this for me. I feel like I'm being a people pleaser and just doing this for everyone else's sake. I guess if I choose not to meet someone I know almost nothing about, that makes me a judgemental bitch.
I just hate the fact that other people feel they have to step in and do things for me. Like they assume I'd like to be out meeting people and going on dates but I kinda don't care. I don't want a boyfriend as much as people think I do. Not right now, anyway. I never even make comments that might imply I'm lonely and want to find a guy. My brother jokes that I'm a lesbian but I don't think he's completely joking. If I refuse to meet this guy, that would give him more reason to think so. I'd rather just let things happen on their own and if nothing happens, fine. Apparently, no one else is okay with that.
I think I'm screwed no matter what I do here. If I don't go, I'm rude. If I do, I'm going with a negative attitude about it.