i'm a fake, and i have no soul!

[Infected_Malignity]

wow. this one is going to hurt, that's all i can say.

plainly and simply put, i have no soul. depending on who i'm with at the time, my mind automatically conjures up whatever attributes it chooses in order to gain acceptance. in otherwords, i shapeshift. i'm made of liquid and i have absolutely no 'self' to come home to. whenever i try to fight this instinctual process that happens, i become socially anxious... which is where i'm at now. but oddly enough, whenever i let it all blow to the breeze and forget this whole 'be yourself' shit, i return to my normal state of not being socially anxious in the slightest.

just wondering if anybody else is remotely like me at all! i doubt it, but thought i'd post anyway. it sucks to not have a soul, that's all i can say. i'm like a social perfectionist - might as well give into the urge to be perfect and master the goddamn craft. beats the hell out of fighting it.

 

[krs2snow]

i'm made of liquid and i have absolutely no 'self' to come home to

Holy moly! That one does hurt! I'd like to "come home" to myself too... I just don't know who that is!!! Is this what you mean?? I feel like a chameleon sometimes. You know, changing colors depending on the surroundings. I need to be in a "fight or flight" mode to really find out who the heck I am! I sometimes wish for something traumatic to happen so I can know who I truly am.

 

[RedRibbons]

Just because you are a different person, with different people, doesn't make you soul-less. It is natural for people to alter their behaviour according to the company they are with. I think. lol. Or I am in the same boat as you. I am a chameleon. I generally stay true to myself (whoever that may be), but when I'm in the company of certain people, certain traits are more pronounced than others.

I don't know.

 

[theman]

Infected, I'll tell you one thing I can tell is uniquely "you"....is your self awareness and ability to make quantitative observations.

And there is another of your qualities which is consistent... but I don't have time to write right now - gotta run. I'll post it later.

...And yes, the majority of humans ARE mostly liquid. Maybe this makes you TRUER to yourself than most?

 

[shon]

If you didn't have a soul, it wouldn't hurt, right?

I'm the same way. I have a different personality for about everyone I know. It's such a habit that I don't even notice when I'm doing it. My dad came over the other day and I put on my fake smile and agreed with most everything he said to avoid an argument. It can be scary revealing your true self to people who may not appreciate it.

 

[Doomed2Die]

I have felt the same on numerous occasions, but if you do change due to anxiety the result is clear, humans adapt to anything maybe the fear misleads but you still change, the core or soul as you say is the memory of what makes you, you. And due to the change you are losing touch on these practices that make yourself unique, hence only the memories are left.

I think...

 

[Depressed4life]

....

Finally someone that understands how i feel. TO me i am the fakest person ever, i think of what to say to sound cool and stuff.

 

[rado31]

Little chameleon asks his dad :
"Dad, who i am"
"Son, It depends on a context"

 

[recluse]

if the person is extroverted and loud i tend to try and act the same just to fit in. I'ts pretty lame really because we should be ourselves all the time.

 

[nikki_marie]

i would not worry about trying to find 'the self'. It is said that if one spends to much time investing trying to find the self, this actualy retards development. we are what we learn, we are our experiences and we are the people who we choose to mix with.

Also no one has one single self, we all change dependsing on whats happening around us and what mood were in and its normal to maybe be different around different people, as long as u inside is the same. To be honest were all actors in many ways.

 

[Danfalc]

I think theres a diference between reacting different to different people and being fake.I mean if you act tough and macho in front of people you know you can bully... then go all quite round someone who intimidates you thats fake.

I can really relate to what your saying tho cos i dont know how to act round people these days....sometimes i think im too sickly nice cos im trying too hard...then other times i probaly come across as arragont because i cant find that balance yet.Buti think thats partly due to my depression aswell and i just feel so numb and not "human".But if you look deep inside... you will realise you have morals about whats right and wrong to you... opinions...and views... dreams.Ya deffo have a soul its just hard for us to share it openly with other people.

 

[stardog]

I feel kind of like this...I don't really have an idea of what I am, what I want, just feel totally hollow.

And I seem to be clueless about everything...I have a kind of half-baked, lazy thought process which means people are constantly correcting me. My mind is just blurred, filled with confusion. I can't articulate anything cause my thoughts are just a mess. The only thing I'm good at really is music and all opportunities have passed me by there.

aagh Im messed up.

 

[Lea]

I am fake, and I have no soul

I think it doesn´t matter who you are, but what you think. Your moral principles, opinions, values, memories, experiences.. that´s what your soul is. The rest is quite unimportant. Your feelings around different people, your moods may always change but your moral values should never be betrayed and changed at will. I mean for example changing your opinions according to whom you are with, telling them what they want to hear instead of what you believe.

 

[xSleepy]

if the person is extroverted and loud i tend to try and act the same just to fit in. I'ts pretty lame really because we should be ourselves all the time.

My only friend is really loud and "out there" I guess. and when im around heri either try to be just as loud as her or i say very little cause she just talks too much to get a word in.

And im different around my mom, my grandma, and probably each one of my many cousins.
And I think they notice too, that I act differently. Like my friend seems suprised when she sees me more happy and outgoing around other people. I guess after 6 years of knowing her she still hasnt caught on that I really REAAALLLYY dont like her......but thats a whole different topic, lol

 

[nikki_marie]

how can u not like ur friend? lol

 

[Infected_Malignity]

i'm made of liquid and i have absolutely no 'self' to come home to

Holy moly! That one does hurt! I'd like to "come home" to myself too... I just don't know who that is!!! Is this what you mean?? I feel like a chameleon sometimes. You know, changing colors depending on the surroundings.

yeah! finally somebody gets exactly what i mean. i feel like a chameleon almost all my life!

 

[Infected_Malignity]

Infected, I'll tell you one thing I can tell is uniquely "you"....is your self awareness and ability to make quantitative observations.

And there is another of your qualities which is consistent... but I don't have time to write right now - gotta run. I'll post it later.

...And yes, the majority of humans ARE mostly liquid. Maybe this makes you TRUER to yourself than most?

ooh, i don't know about that one. i think it's more of a self deceiving trait. like i'm constantly lying to myself or trying too hard to blend in. if it were more fluid and effortless, it would probably work better to my advantage!

 

[lily]

edit: so sorry to all for not really being truthful or real especially after, which is now several yrs ago, following the wrong example and seeing how it would be like to be not that nice, or a little nice but not sincere, in order to see if there was anything to understand about certain people and there wasn't. However i know that a lot of what i said was true and that is all i would like to talk about, thanks. i also know that anyone could've worried about what i wrote in the suicide thread but i did not mean it in that way, but in as wanting to get better.

 

[Atlantis]

I don't try to change to be accepted. I just shy away... can't talk to them and always being introverted... that kind of thing

 

[Lexmark]

i'm made of liquid and i have absolutely no 'self' to come home to

Holy moly! That one does hurt! I'd like to "come home" to myself too... I just don't know who that is!!! Is this what you mean?? I feel like a chameleon sometimes. You know, changing colors depending on the surroundings. I need to be in a "fight or flight" mode to really find out who the heck I am! I sometimes wish for something traumatic to happen so I can know who I truly am.

Yeah well said I am exactly the same