ignored
- Thread starter tofu
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Well, there's a special type of being ignored that I, personally, am very familiar with.
It happened mostly back in my former high-school, but still does occasionally. When I was having a conversation with someone, which already is increasingly hard to maintain with time passing, and someone else came around, the person I was talking to simply turned and walked away with the just arrived one, ofttimes ignoring me, or interrupting me in the midst of speaking. Then there were cases of me having been asked to explain something and for that purpose to meet up somewhere at some specified time. The person supposed to come didn't come until an hour later, with someone else in company, telling me that other person had already explained it, and my help wasn't necessary any longer. And then, there are the classic cases of me being around people, and being blatantly ignored.
How I deal with it? I ignore it. If someone isn't interested in what I have to say, the person isn't worth my company. It's painful to be ignored, yes, it's saddening and upsetting, but the point is, if someone doesn't have that spark of decency and is incapable of basic respect, I am not interested in continuing the conversation anyway.
You have no explanation whatsoever for his apparent ignoring you. He is at liberty to leave and stop talking, and, furthermore, is not bound to explaining himself to you. The fact that he is only an online acquaintance substantiates that statement. Of course, it is 'unfriendly' and 'disrespectful' a deed of his, and you are free to feel hurt; he -should- have explained it, or made it clear otherwise.
It happened mostly back in my former high-school, but still does occasionally. When I was having a conversation with someone, which already is increasingly hard to maintain with time passing, and someone else came around, the person I was talking to simply turned and walked away with the just arrived one, ofttimes ignoring me, or interrupting me in the midst of speaking. Then there were cases of me having been asked to explain something and for that purpose to meet up somewhere at some specified time. The person supposed to come didn't come until an hour later, with someone else in company, telling me that other person had already explained it, and my help wasn't necessary any longer. And then, there are the classic cases of me being around people, and being blatantly ignored.
How I deal with it? I ignore it. If someone isn't interested in what I have to say, the person isn't worth my company. It's painful to be ignored, yes, it's saddening and upsetting, but the point is, if someone doesn't have that spark of decency and is incapable of basic respect, I am not interested in continuing the conversation anyway.
You have no explanation whatsoever for his apparent ignoring you. He is at liberty to leave and stop talking, and, furthermore, is not bound to explaining himself to you. The fact that he is only an online acquaintance substantiates that statement. Of course, it is 'unfriendly' and 'disrespectful' a deed of his, and you are free to feel hurt; he -should- have explained it, or made it clear otherwise.
You are not a loser. I suggest distracting yourself. Focus on other things, like reading a book, working on a project of yours, or something that you like doing and has nothing to do with watching the messenger icon and waiting for it to light up. It'd be best to turn the application off for a couple of days and spend your time improving yourself. Self-improvement is always good and if done sufficiently intensely, curing and healing. Imagine you meet the perfect human being, someone you had always wanted to be with, and you simply aren't good enough for him, because you spent your waking hours waiting, while he spent them advancing.
Reiji Moritsugu
Well-known member
I get that 99.9% on the time on msn...out of all the contacts I have, maybe 1 or at most 2 actually make an effort to initiate conversations with me. It´s not like I have many interesting things to say either, but I place a lot of value on the fact that someone goes out of his/her way to talk to me, so I at least try to reply and make the conversation as interesting as possible. But everyone else...*crickets chirping* it´s either I message them first or nothing happens, and the funniest part is that whenever I see them in real life they go "why don´t you ever talk to me on MSN?"
It gets hard for me to explain that I just don´t consider someone who doesn´t even try to say hello to me to be even worthy of talking to, because such people are the same ones who ignore me whenever I manage to gather enough courage and initiate something. And for those who may wondered, the exact same thing happens in real life too.
Which has led me to lose almost all interest in groups and such, because people never seem to give a damn about what few things I have to say.
._.
It gets hard for me to explain that I just don´t consider someone who doesn´t even try to say hello to me to be even worthy of talking to, because such people are the same ones who ignore me whenever I manage to gather enough courage and initiate something. And for those who may wondered, the exact same thing happens in real life too.
Which has led me to lose almost all interest in groups and such, because people never seem to give a damn about what few things I have to say.
._.
madmike
Well-known member
I agree with Klytus, when you have something to occupy you, or a goal in mind, it becomes so much easier to deal with. A while back this was one of my biggest problems and i just couldn't get over the fact that people didn't feel me worthy of their attention. But now i don't let it bother me; in fact, i thought it didn't happen anymore until i remembered back to this afternoon when i asked a classmate a question, and he ignored me competely for the more favoured conversation of someone else next to him... but i just asked again when he wasn't facing the other person and managed to strike up a sort of convo!
Rodox
Well-known member
You say that he has SA too,maybe he has trouble chatting with people online?
I know I have,sometimes a month goes by and I dont speak to the person,I have trouble sending pms first,I write and then think nah thats stupid and then end up not sending,one time someone sent me a pm I was like a week without logging in to respond,I dont know,but that could be the problem.
this_portrait
Well-known member
I feel ignored a lot, too, and I'm also afraid to say anything about it because I feel it would make me out to be some crybaby attention whore.
I'm so fed up with trying to find people to talk to that I would rather spend my time reading books, taking pictures, and drawing, because I no longer find people entertaining, because they don't seem to find me entertaining.
I'm so fed up with trying to find people to talk to that I would rather spend my time reading books, taking pictures, and drawing, because I no longer find people entertaining, because they don't seem to find me entertaining.
I found out that the more I write people on msn or call them on the phone, the more they seem to want to talk to me back and then they are the onces who's being the first to contact me later on.
A couple of years ago, I never contacted anyone, so no one payed me any attention, then when I'd have had enough and got really lonely, I thought **** it, I'll "bug" them and keep contacting them to see if they'll still ignore me. So I started calling a girlfriend almost everyday... She suddently started inviting me to parties. Today we're very good freinds and we see eachothers a lot. She's just one example out of a bunch.
If you are the one who keep reaching out for friends and they still dont pay you any attention, then just move on, and find other potential friends
I've also had a couple that didn't respont to my calls/messages/small talk whatever, so I just started looking for others, and when they seem to be interessted I hang on to them.
A couple of years ago, I never contacted anyone, so no one payed me any attention, then when I'd have had enough and got really lonely, I thought **** it, I'll "bug" them and keep contacting them to see if they'll still ignore me. So I started calling a girlfriend almost everyday... She suddently started inviting me to parties. Today we're very good freinds and we see eachothers a lot. She's just one example out of a bunch.
If you are the one who keep reaching out for friends and they still dont pay you any attention, then just move on, and find other potential friends
I've also had a couple that didn't respont to my calls/messages/small talk whatever, so I just started looking for others, and when they seem to be interessted I hang on to them.
mylifephails
Active member
sometimes i love to be ignored... so they dont talk to me and leave me alone =/.. but sometimes i dont like it.. wen im in need of response and i dont gt it.. -.-
weak
Well-known member
i have this paranoia/obsession over being ignored. i always think that people are ignoring me but i'm pretty sure there are some who blatantly are. i don't know how to deal with it without getting upset and depressed like a big crybaby.
there's this guy who used to message me daily and chat to me (he has SA too).he was one of my best online buddies but recently i haven't been getting any responses from him even though he logs on every day and keeps his status online all the time. i know he has a habit of leaving his instant messenger on whether he is there or not but i wish he'd at least leave me an offline response to let me know why he hasn't been able to chat lately. i know he's probably very busy with plans over the summer but i'm quite annoyed at how he got me all attached and then suddenly go ignoring me??? this makes me not want to message anybody first anymore.
You sound like a really clingy person. Nothing wrong with that but some guys respond to it poorly. It's possible that you're annoying this friend of yours.
But that's not really the issue. The issue is more with you and how you deal with this. If you don't mind me saying so, it sounds like you have too much time on your hands. I'd suggest busying yourself in any way you can. If you can do this, you'll stop caring as much about the trivial things in life.
