I want to hide from the world.

[powerfulthoughts]

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Sometimes I feel like I want to hide away from the world and completely isolate myself, and just forget all my embarassing moments in life, which there are a lot of. The stress is really taking a toll on me by just merely being in public at work and just ATTEMPTING to talk to people. People have no idea how much internal stress wreaks havoc on me just by being in their presence.

Tonight after work, a girl brought me home. She wanted to stand outside and smoke in my apartment complex. So I invited her in since it seemed like she wanted to hang out a bit. She said sure, and we talked inside a bit and listened to a bit of music. Although this sounds kind of nice, the atmosphere for me was obviously a bit weird, and i was kind of stressed out and the interaction didn't go to well imo, and eventually she had to go.

After that, I just thought how nice it would be to isolate myself and just be by myself forever, not thinking about other people or my inability to communicate to others in a half decent manner. I would love to quit my job, and just hibernate away until I eventually die. I don't feel like I am really a useful component in this world. I feel like a burden the world with my existence.

I have no escape from the stress other than hiding away. Even though that's not a practical solution for me, it sure would be nice. I just want to be content in my own skin and with who I am. But I'm not. I'm a fearful vessel that people find odd and mysterious. They think I don't want to be around them, that I don't want to talk. That's completely false and wrong, yet that's how I present myself. Therefore, because of my inability, I just want to hide, forever.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Well, I can tell you firsthand-- as an Agoraphobic; I hide away and it doesn't do any good either.
Only makes me feel like more of a burden and makes it harder to re-enter the world the longer you've been hiding from it.


It's good to talk about it though, so please feel free to post more of what you're feeling.

 

[Kiwong]

I have thought about hiding away from the world, but at the moment putting myself out into the world is worth the risk.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Well, I can tell you firsthand-- as an Agoraphobic; I hide away and it doesn't do any good either.
Only makes me feel like more of a burden and makes it harder to re-enter the world the longer you've been hiding from it.


It's good to talk about it though, so please feel free to post more of what you're feeling.

I believe you, but in theory it sounds appealing. The worst part about myself is that i know how odd and strange most of my interactions are with other people because of fear and insecurity. This makes me ruminate about these uncomfortable interactions and then the stress and frustration continue to pile up.

And yeah, sometimes I like to post random thoughts and feelings, and I cant maintain a journal for some reason. :/ Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

No problem~
I don't really have any advice or solutions for you, as I've found no reason to really push myself out of my room and be 'more normal'. It feels safer to just be isolated.

Everyone should live for something, though.
If you haven't found anything yet-- like I haven't; we should keep looking for that.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

No problem~
I don't really have any advice or solutions for you, as I've found no reason to really push myself out of my room and be 'more normal'. It feels safer to just be isolated.

Everyone should live for something, though.
If you haven't found anything yet-- like I haven't; we should keep looking for that.

Agreed. Thanks.

 

[MikeyC]

While I realise the temptation of hiding away is strong, as it is for me, too, it's not easy to do and I would find a way to deal with embarrassment in a healthy way rather than isolation.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

While I realise the temptation of hiding away is strong, as it is for me, too, it's not easy to do and I would find a way to deal with embarrassment in a healthy way rather than isolation.

True. But whats a healthy way?

 

[MikeyC]

True. But whats a healthy way?

Unfortunately I don't have an answer for that. Maybe just realise whatever you did was embarrassing and try to improve it for next time.

For example, you say the interaction between you and that girl was awkward. Maybe she thought it was fine and you thought too much of it? It's hard to say and there's no concrete answer.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Unfortunately I don't have an answer for that. Maybe just realise whatever you did was embarrassing and try to improve it for next time.

For example, you say the interaction between you and that girl was awkward. Maybe she thought it was fine and you thought too much of it? It's hard to say and there's no concrete answer.

Yeah, over-analyzing is a big foe of mine.

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah, over-analyzing is a big foe of mine.

Mine, too, so I know what you mean. I hope you don't hide away, though. ::

 

[the_caretaker]

I fell you, I sympathize with you. I wanted to do that for the longest time and I'd bet you my bottom dollar I have made more mistakes than you. If you could be more specific, I can help, I'm livin' life and here's how I got over my mistakes: I apologized, and then I was forgiven. If it's someting you can apologize for do it and get over it. Also, maybe you should do what I did and find someone who accepts you for your "flaws n' all."

 

[Moo]

You really do sound a lot like me. I wish I could just simplify everything by deciding to say nothing, do nothing and go nowhere. At least that way I can't possibly do anything wrong. In theory it sounds like the easy option but it's a horrible, lonely way to live. :: The best thing to do is to gradually broaden the things you feel you can do. Failing that at least maintain what you are doing now. Improving or staying the same is ok but reverting won't bring any good.

 

[Bo592]

Sometimes I feel like I want to hide away from the world and completely isolate myself, and just forget all my embarassing moments in life, which there are a lot of. The stress is really taking a toll on me by just merely being in public at work and just ATTEMPTING to talk to people. People have no idea how much internal stress wreaks havoc on me just by being in their presence.

Tonight after work, a girl brought me home. She wanted to stand outside and smoke in my apartment complex. So I invited her in since it seemed like she wanted to hang out a bit. She said sure, and we talked inside a bit and listened to a bit of music. Although this sounds kind of nice, the atmosphere for me was obviously a bit weird, and i was kind of stressed out and the interaction didn't go to well imo, and eventually she had to go.

After that, I just thought how nice it would be to isolate myself and just be by myself forever, not thinking about other people or my inability to communicate to others in a half decent manner. I would love to quit my job, and just hibernate away until I eventually die. I don't feel like I am really a useful component in this world. I feel like a burden the world with my existence.

I have no escape from the stress other than hiding away. Even though that's not a practical solution for me, it sure would be nice. I just want to be content in my own skin and with who I am. But I'm not. I'm a fearful vessel that people find odd and mysterious. They think I don't want to be around them, that I don't want to talk. That's completely false and wrong, yet that's how I present myself. Therefore, because of my inability, I just want to hide, forever.

Ask yourself are these people your choosing to hide from are they flawless or perfect are they worth your entire life, all your happyness, all your hope ? I hope that you well find that there not all that great eather have there mistakes too.