Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
At the beggining of this semester in college I saw a girl in several of my clasess that blew my mind... something that NEVER happens. I just felt a huge need to get to know her, my instinct just screamed at me that I had to make that happen in some way.
While I'm no longer 100% socially awkward the idea of somehow aproaching our of nowhere a smart and attarctive girl was daunting to say the least. I pondered for weeks, how to do it?... How?
I managed to get enough courage to talk to her briefly a couple of times, but nothing significant.
About a month ago I was all but defeated in this quest, but one day in the library I was studying for one of the classes I share with her. And there she was, studying alone in another table. With a silly and bitter smile I told myself: "It would be so amazing if she stood up and came to sit with me".
And guess what happened? SHE ACTUALLY DID... I was totally dumbfounded, had I lost my mind finally?, this couldn't be really happening.
But it did and after studying we talked a little about our selves and our lives and I really can't explain this... but my instinct seemed to be right at that point, she was the kind of woman that I had always dreamed of.
Still, I wasn't gonna be a child and start think that had meant anything more than what it was, studying for a test.
A few weeks later, after another class I share with her I sat on the hallway and watched her pass by me with one of her lady friends that took the elevator, but she took the stairs. Once again in my mind I wished that she would have noticed me, but I told myself that I was being silly and pathethic and should stop. So I just got up and headed for the stairs... and there she was again, going back up and straight at me and asking me something about the class. Once again I tought I must be dreaming... but I wasn't, we walked together out of the building and parted ways, but not before she asked me to study together again next week for another test. Notice that she didn't even really remember my name. The whole thing was so disconcerting and confusing to me.
And so that day came, last thursday, I had actually not tought about it so much being very distracted by some problems. So I just got to the library and took a look around and I couldn't see her. I simply tought that she must have forgotten or something, oh well, it's not the end of the world.
Until a few minutes latter someone gets close to me, I rise mt eyes and there she was... so FRIGGIN BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT!, dear god, she's good looking and dresses nicely, but this time it was amazing.
She asked me how longer had I've been there and asked me to come to her table. And so I did and once again we studied together... and a couple of hours later she said she was hungry, gathering courage from who knows where, I invited her to eat lunch.
And so we did... I actually didn't wanted to eat at all (I was fairly ill) but I sure as hell wasn't gonna let this chance slip from my fingers.
And so we talked over lunch and that was it... I couldn't believe that I had found a woman like this in this country... crap, she was everything I had always imagined in a woman.
She talked about her dislike for society and for how shallow most people are, and about how she had always been shy but that she had learned to talk and be friendly to everyone even if she had very few friends. She said how she liked "simple" people (in Spanish and in my country this means people who aren't pretentious or fake) like a few of her friends... or me
.
This weekend has been a rush of emotions for me... I feel odd, very hopeful about life in general but somehow scared at the same time, scared of once again end up caring about someone. I feel this strong urge to see her again, but I know it's just the emotional inmaturity in me. I need to be calm and handle this like a smart adult.
I think I may have here a real chance to make a geniune friend... a real emotional connection with someone, I can't be too passive nor too active. I can't force it nor can I afford to do nothing about it.
And I have to say that this is hard, keeping all of this emotions under control, but it seems like an essential step in maturing and overcoming the SA... I know I can make this happen, I know it!
While I'm no longer 100% socially awkward the idea of somehow aproaching our of nowhere a smart and attarctive girl was daunting to say the least. I pondered for weeks, how to do it?... How?
I managed to get enough courage to talk to her briefly a couple of times, but nothing significant.
About a month ago I was all but defeated in this quest, but one day in the library I was studying for one of the classes I share with her. And there she was, studying alone in another table. With a silly and bitter smile I told myself: "It would be so amazing if she stood up and came to sit with me".
And guess what happened? SHE ACTUALLY DID... I was totally dumbfounded, had I lost my mind finally?, this couldn't be really happening.
But it did and after studying we talked a little about our selves and our lives and I really can't explain this... but my instinct seemed to be right at that point, she was the kind of woman that I had always dreamed of.
Still, I wasn't gonna be a child and start think that had meant anything more than what it was, studying for a test.
A few weeks later, after another class I share with her I sat on the hallway and watched her pass by me with one of her lady friends that took the elevator, but she took the stairs. Once again in my mind I wished that she would have noticed me, but I told myself that I was being silly and pathethic and should stop. So I just got up and headed for the stairs... and there she was again, going back up and straight at me and asking me something about the class. Once again I tought I must be dreaming... but I wasn't, we walked together out of the building and parted ways, but not before she asked me to study together again next week for another test. Notice that she didn't even really remember my name. The whole thing was so disconcerting and confusing to me.
And so that day came, last thursday, I had actually not tought about it so much being very distracted by some problems. So I just got to the library and took a look around and I couldn't see her. I simply tought that she must have forgotten or something, oh well, it's not the end of the world.
Until a few minutes latter someone gets close to me, I rise mt eyes and there she was... so FRIGGIN BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT!, dear god, she's good looking and dresses nicely, but this time it was amazing.
She asked me how longer had I've been there and asked me to come to her table. And so I did and once again we studied together... and a couple of hours later she said she was hungry, gathering courage from who knows where, I invited her to eat lunch.
And so we did... I actually didn't wanted to eat at all (I was fairly ill) but I sure as hell wasn't gonna let this chance slip from my fingers.
And so we talked over lunch and that was it... I couldn't believe that I had found a woman like this in this country... crap, she was everything I had always imagined in a woman.
She talked about her dislike for society and for how shallow most people are, and about how she had always been shy but that she had learned to talk and be friendly to everyone even if she had very few friends. She said how she liked "simple" people (in Spanish and in my country this means people who aren't pretentious or fake) like a few of her friends... or me
.This weekend has been a rush of emotions for me... I feel odd, very hopeful about life in general but somehow scared at the same time, scared of once again end up caring about someone. I feel this strong urge to see her again, but I know it's just the emotional inmaturity in me. I need to be calm and handle this like a smart adult.
I think I may have here a real chance to make a geniune friend... a real emotional connection with someone, I can't be too passive nor too active. I can't force it nor can I afford to do nothing about it.
And I have to say that this is hard, keeping all of this emotions under control, but it seems like an essential step in maturing and overcoming the SA... I know I can make this happen, I know it!
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