I screwed up big time

[IrishRampage]

Oh god I think I really ****ed up this time. I don't even know what i ****ing want anymore, everyday is the exact same ordeal. I ended up asking this girl out in my grade over facebook, and I know that was one of my biggest mistakes. When it comes to talking to new people face to face, I am utter **** at making a conversation. No matter who it is, even freakin relatives, I struggle at was comes naturally to other people. I try to tell my friends but all I get is "Oh, it's so easy, just say hi!" which is exactly what I did, but after that it's a train wreak. Anyway the day after I asked her out I was feeling confident until I got to school, I was nervous as ****. Eventually we met up by accident and I tried to make a convo, but failed and we were in complete silence for about 5 mins which felt like an hour to me. I even told this girl about my anxiety, she says she has it too, but I am honestly not sure what she thinks of me. I am fed up with my anxiety, it ****s me up on a daily basis, which leads to depression and loneliness, which is why I am trying to talk to new people and ask girls out. It's a never ending cycle and I don't know what to do anymore ::

 

[IrishRampage]

I don't understand, we were having such a great conversation over facebook and then I had to **** it all up by asking her out, I don't think I'll ever be able to fix this

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

She said she has it too right? She should understand. That's great, maybe you will have a serious relationship. The more time your with someone, the more comfortable you will get.... groups um different story unless they're incredibly nice....

 

[IrishRampage]

Thanks for the advice bro, I just really don't want her to take it the wrong way, like my silence was saying I wasn't interested or something. It seems were only able to have regular non-akward conversations on facebook so I'll try talking to her again and apologizing

 

[Etbow23]

it'll probably be okay. I often feel the same way with you, freaking out and not sleeping all night over something like this. Then the next day, everyone doesn't even say anything because they've forgotten about it

I think the obsession is part of anxiety. it is relentless..

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah, if she says she has it, too, she might be able to sympathise with you. Don't forget that when there was a 5-minute silence, she didn't say anything, either!

I know a girl who's chatty and will tell me all sorts of things to me over email or text message (even sexual things, for real), but face-to-face she is super quiet and I wonder if she even likes me. But maybe her shyness prevents any contact with some people.

 

[IrishRampage]

I'm not sure if she's ignoring me now, I just want to be able to hold up a conversation somehow, and thanks for the advice so far everyone, it's good to know I have people I can relate to

 

[maybmental2]

Well dude you and I are in the same boat, But you know what you are doing better than me you actually talked to her in school. She has social anxiety then she's as frieghtened as you, You've started now don't stop just push ahead you'll be glad you did no matter what happens. And one more thing remember to breath, Just breath and talk to her. Good luck dude you've already gotten through the hardest part saying Hi.

 

[Thelema]

So you asked her out. What did she says?

 

[IrishRampage]

Well Thelema I think she was pretty happy about it she said "yeah sure, sounds good ", and then we discussed where we would go. The thing about sending texts or facebook messages is you can't tell how they really reacted, so I guess I'll never know if she was really happy :: Once again, when we met the next day it was all very akward on the bus ride home, like nothing ever happened::

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well Thelema I think she was pretty happy about it she said "yeah sure, sounds good ", and then we discussed where we would go. The thing about sending texts or facebook messages is you can't tell how they really reacted, so I guess I'll never know if she was really happy :: Once again, when we met the next day it was all very akward on the bus ride home, like nothing ever happened::

Have you tried explaining to her your situation? I think that she'll understand why things went as they did and even help you out a bit if you told her. As far as what you can do though, you could simply calm yourself, let your negative thoughts go, and work on having better conversation skills. Try talking to people you've hardly spoken to before and try to extend those conversations for as long as you can. Congratulations on asking her out though! That took courage!

 

[IrishRampage]

Aw thanks for the help everyone, she told me she understands, and I told her I'm sure things will get easier over time I feel WAY more at ease now thanks to you guys, guess I've just got to learn and calm down at times like these haha