I hate how I look

[Lou-s-Darkness]

Just my opinion but both people who posted video and picture are attractive. Anyway... opcorn:

Agreed... -_-

 

[jc972]

I could never make a video like that about myself b/c I am too insecure about my looks..

Most every girl I've ever met was insecure about her looks to some degree. Even ones like yourself who, in my opinion, are very pretty.

 

[MikeyC]

Just my opinion but both people who posted video and picture are attractive. Anyway... opcorn:

:thumbup: Agreed!

 

[MFDunn]

Hey guys, this is my first post. I found this forum on the internet yesterday when I was searching for a similar topic on google.... I apologize ahead of time if this is too lengthy.

But btw you are by no means ugly at all. You're easily in the top tier as far as looks go (not to be too shallow) I'm just throwing that out there.

But I too have BDD along with social anxiety, general anxiety, and some depression. Im told by many people that i'm a good looking guy and I have a hard time myself seeing myself that way. I think its partly because I was really overweight when I was younger before I really got into sports and going to the gym and as a result I was picked on and made fun of alot, so there are still times where I look at pictures of myself, or even in my mirrored reflection and I still see a distorted view of myself. And I think its also because its hard to accurately evaluate yourself because you are the hardest on yourself and you are much more likely to notice any perceived or minor real flaws than anyone else...more so than other people would be. But ive always had trouble in social situations because in the back of my head I tend to think that people are going to think I'm weird or "creepy" when I meet them for the first time and that has kept me from having a great social life. I have a few great friends but Ive always had a hard time with girls and haven't had a gf in years....(sad and embarrassing, I know.)

But recently I started a taking prozac again along with this medication called neurontin and I'm really starting to feel much better about myself. I'm much happier and I dont seem to worry so much anymore and my anxiety is starting to go away. I'm also starting to become more outgoing as well which is a big plus. I'm also seeing a counselor as well.

If you arent already seeing a counselor or taking any medication (if your not against them...some people are) I'd highly recommend it. Theres nothing wrong with talking to somebody about your problems, because honestly everyone has some kind of problem.

But i'm gonna end this rant with a quote from Henry Ford that you should try to remember and live by (its helped me alot).

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you're right".
But to better fit your situation, to simplify this just remember that you are what you think you are and you have the power inside yourself to see yourself the way you want to see yourself.

I hope I helped. Just my $0.02 for what its worth.

 

[PhobiaTired]

I understand. I am ugly. I see people, who are not ugly, such as yourself, thinking that they are. I didn't know there was a name for it though. It don't bother me because I know that I look weird but I hate it when attractive people feel this way. I'm sorry you hate how you look.

How do you deal with it? I mean you say that you look weird yet it doesnt bother you how did you get to that point?? I wish I could feel like that!

 

[PhobiaTired]

I think you are really pretty erfect:
Have you seen this?
Dove Real Beauty Sketches - YouTube

Thank you so much Soandi for sharing that video with me! It brought me to tears!

 

[PhobiaTired]

I have Body dysmorphic disorder :/ I never knew that there was a name to what I had until recently so I made a yt video talking about how I hate my looks.



Oh honey, I'm so sorry about your dysmorphic disorder. You're not ugly to me, in fact you're a very beautiful girl. Me, personally, I think I look uglier compared to every other girl I see. I look too anorexic, my face is too small/round, dark circles visible under eyes, ugly smile, ugly low voice, skinny arms, bushy eyebrows, ect. I hate the way I look in pictures(bad ones especially) because I'm too stick thin like and my smile looks like crap. I usually feel crying because of how I see myself in pictures. No matter what, I see woman on magazines and in real life who I can't match up close to. I hate myself more than my looks though.

Thank you and I am sorry you also feel don't like how you look. Honestly I would rather look anorexic because I feel that I am too fat and can't lose weight :/ I also hate the way I come out in pictures and need to take 100 in order to get one decent one. I have this pic cut out from a magazine on the fridge door of this skinny girl I wish to look like so that everytime I go to the fridge I see her and think about what I am going to eat... its depressing!

 

[PhobiaTired]

Does it help you when you post videos or pictures of yourself and people tell you that you look pretty? Did you end up believing that you at least look decent, or do you keep thinking that people considere you as being fairly deep in the ugly spectrum?

Hey Pacific_Loner I wish I could say that it helps but honestly it doesn't. It helps to post videos because I see others can relate but when they tell me I look pretty or normal I feel that if they see me in real life they would change their minds and see the real ugly me :'(

 

[PhobiaTired]

You look Beautiful. I'm ugly, fat, and other people are way better looking than me trust me they are. I always think that the reason why people are near me is so they can look better and have a better self-esteem it's like when people look at me I feel as if they're thinking "I look better than her" I know I'm not a mind reader, but their's always something that makes me feel that people are thinking that way towards me.

Thank you yet I think you are telling me this to make me feel better. I feel ugly and fat too :/ I doubt all people would think that about you and deep down I know that its the negative thoughts that make both of us feel worse.
Bty I love your username!

 

[PhobiaTired]

You look good.

I think the problem is that females tend to go for a well thought out look. But that's when they will compare themselves to others. If you are out in the city and you walk past thousands of people, you are looking at them, not at you. So you lose that sense of self identity. So you are looking at tall, fit, well clothed people. That can be hard. So I think if you have some strategies. Live in your own world without paying much attention to all the people out there. Another thing to try is if you pay attention to people, see which clothes you like. Don't focus on the person, but the jeans or the jacket. Something like that.

In the 1990s it wasn't as obvious as it is now. People sort of looked dorky, grungy, people still dressed in classy clothes, but it wasn't as intimidating as it is these days.

I think there was more of a relaxed feeling back then.

That might have something to do with feeling more inadequate now.

So if you can find something to take your mind of physical looks.

If you keep busy doing what you want, then that leaves little time for worrying about stuff.

I think i'm generic looking as a male. it's hard even for us, because girls like a certain guy. a certain style.

The only solution I think, is to keep busy with hobbies, work, fun, so you don't have to worry about it.

Thank you so much for the advice! I will try the focusing on people's clothes next time I go out Thanks!!

 

[PhobiaTired]

Not to sound too judgmental here Raichel, but your response to the op sounds a bit harsh. This is after all a support forum, and you telling someone "I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for people like you" isn't going to help them feel great about themselves.

In defence of everyone who has SA though, myself included, I can appreciate how difficult it is to be supportive for one another at times. When you look at other support groups, such as AA for example, there seems to be more unity and understanding in those groups. Maybe it’s because they can relate more with each other because of how their addiction affects their lives. Whereas having SA, even though we can relate to how difficult it is to be sociable, it doesn’t help that we have problems communicating with other people in the first place. And also, there are a multitude of reasons why someone has SA, so that in itself just clouds the issue even further in coming together as a support group.

I think Raichel deleted her post because I cant seem to respond to her. But I loved what you said Hennyfink and totally agree.
But in response to her post, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me I just want to express how I feel and why would I "think" I was ugly if I didn't feel that I am actually ugly?? I didn't start feeling like this for no reason growing up I did receive comments on how I looked and questions on why my eyes were "so big" and "different". One time in high school I overheard this guy asking another one jokingly that if he liked me and how disgusted and insulted he acted. Tell me how that wasn't going to make me feel ugly? You do not know what I have been through that has made me feel so bad about my looks...

 

[PhobiaTired]

I have this disorder too. And it prevented me, through a large part of my life, from meeting someone. All of my teen years and most of my twenties, I never had a girlfriend. I thought I was too ugly. Every time a girl did express interest, I thought she was just doing it out of pity. I pushed any girl away that had interest and gravitated to the ones that didn't to reinforce my views of myself.

When I look at old pictures of myself, I think, "oh wow, I was a good looking guy". About five months ago, I began trying to accept myself as a good looking guy and SUCCEEDED. I felt confident and happy. I noticed women (who hadn't paid attention before) began looking at me....................But, I lost it again and I'm back to hating myself. ...I can't seem to get it back. I have no confidence or self esteem anymore.........

Yes same happened to me. Never had a boyfriend which only made me feel worse. Until I turned 23 and was feeling better I had my first "relationship" which was more of a friendship but I was so happy because I finally had one and didn't feel so lonely until he dumped me :/ ...for his ex which made me go back to feeling really bad. What caused you to stop feeling confident? I hope you can feel that way again soon! xoxo

 

[PhobiaTired]

That video was really touching. I really think you're a brave person for exposing so much of your insecurities to us. I completely understand how you feel. I about cried when you said you had a hump in your back from trying to cover the mole on your neck for so long. I could never make a video like that about myself b/c I am too insecure about my looks..you talking about how you hate your profile really hit home for me, too. All I can say is with time you will become more at home in your body and more comfortable with who you are. Time does heal these issues a lot. Just be kind to yourself and realize everyone is beautiful in their own way. No one is perfect and it's is all the pressures from advertising and t.v. that make people feel they need to look a certain way to be loved and accepted. Love and accept yourself first then none of that outside crap matters. I know it is not that easy but believe me when you can do this even for small scale moments it will carry over and keep happening and one day you will feel beautiful. Keep being brave, that is true beauty that never fades.

April Snow you do not know how much I appreciate your comment! That is true hopefully little by little I learn to accept myself. I do tell myself that everyone is beautiful in their own way but its hard to remember that at all times especially with the media and society focusing so much on it. Thank you so much for your kind words, I will always keep them in my heart

 

[PhobiaTired]

Just my opinion but both people who posted video and picture are attractive. Anyway... opcorn:

Thanks for the compliment lol but I wish I felt attractive :/ I feel that if you see me in person your opinion would change and you would see me as ugly as I see myself...

 

[nodejesque]

I too have BDD. Some days its worse than others, but its always there. This feeling of being ugly and stared at. I can relate to your video, PhobiaTired. seeing some of the negative. Comments is what makes me not ever want to speak up. Its the reason why I don't speak to family or friends about my BDD or depression. Ultimately it will be seen as me over reacting and being too self conscious. Or worse, perceived as trying to seek attention (although, I don't see why anyone woulds want to seek attention this way..)

All I can say, is that for me... I fake it. Put on a front for family and friends, but at the end of the day I feel just as ugly. I avoid mirrors, and try to think about anything other than what I look like. I also tend to cover my face with a heavy side bang, this helps me. I feel less seen.

Anyway, for what its worth... you are beautiful. And brave! I hope that you will be able to beat the BDD, and allow yourself to be free of such self deprication.

Its a struggle I think we all deal with. But for some of us, its consuming. If you'd ever like to talk, you can, message me

Goodluck with everything...

 

[PhobiaTired]

Hey guys, this is my first post. I found this forum on the internet yesterday when I was searching for a similar topic on google.... I apologize ahead of time if this is too lengthy.

But btw you are by no means ugly at all. You're easily in the top tier as far as looks go (not to be too shallow) I'm just throwing that out there.

But I too have BDD along with social anxiety, general anxiety, and some depression. Im told by many people that i'm a good looking guy and I have a hard time myself seeing myself that way. I think its partly because I was really overweight when I was younger before I really got into sports and going to the gym and as a result I was picked on and made fun of alot, so there are still times where I look at pictures of myself, or even in my mirrored reflection and I still see a distorted view of myself. And I think its also because its hard to accurately evaluate yourself because you are the hardest on yourself and you are much more likely to notice any perceived or minor real flaws than anyone else...more so than other people would be. But ive always had trouble in social situations because in the back of my head I tend to think that people are going to think I'm weird or "creepy" when I meet them for the first time and that has kept me from having a great social life. I have a few great friends but Ive always had a hard time with girls and haven't had a gf in years....(sad and embarrassing, I know.)

But recently I started a taking prozac again along with this medication called neurontin and I'm really starting to feel much better about myself. I'm much happier and I dont seem to worry so much anymore and my anxiety is starting to go away. I'm also starting to become more outgoing as well which is a big plus. I'm also seeing a counselor as well.

If you arent already seeing a counselor or taking any medication (if your not against them...some people are) I'd highly recommend it. Theres nothing wrong with talking to somebody about your problems, because honestly everyone has some kind of problem.

But i'm gonna end this rant with a quote from Henry Ford that you should try to remember and live by (its helped me alot).

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you're right".
But to better fit your situation, to simplify this just remember that you are what you think you are and you have the power inside yourself to see yourself the way you want to see yourself.

I hope I helped. Just my $0.02 for what its worth.

Hi and first of welcome! I am honored your first post was on my thread Thank you but i don't feel that way at all I have this idea that if you were to see me personally you would see how ugly I see myself :/

And I think its also because its hard to accurately evaluate yourself because you are the hardest on yourself and you are much more likely to notice any perceived or minor real flaws than anyone else I couldn't agree anymore with this! That is really true. I can totally relate to everything you said. I take celexa but i am going to ask my doctor about neurontin and see about talking to a counselor because at this time I am not seeing any professional and maybe that can help me. Yes you have been very helpful thanks so much for your advice and the quote! I loved it and will try to memorize it and always remember it

 

[paperie]

This sounds terribly cliche, but I do believe that true beauty is an internal thing. I do understand how difficult it can be to feel good about your appearance with the cookie cutter images of beauty the media thrusts upon us. You have a lot going for you, you seem very down to earth, open & honest, and articulate. You should be proud of these things and know that they make you beautiful. It might be a challenge, but perhaps you should make a video discussing the things that you do love about yourself.

 

[jc972]

How do you deal with it? I mean you say that you look weird yet it doesnt bother you how did you get to that point?? I wish I could feel like that!

I was born ugly, bad genetics from my father. And I have scars. You see, I have scars up and down my arms and hands from being injured when I was a fireman, and a long, ugly scar on the side of my face from the same thing. I figure if my looks got messed up saving a child in a burning house, it was a worthy cause and I'm cool with it. The house was falling down on top of us while we were getting a small child out of the closet he was hiding in and burning pieces of wood with red hot nails in them, as well as broken, hot glass, was falling on me, right down on our heads. I had taken my fire coat and air mask and put them on the boy so that's where my scars came from. My gloves had to come off to get my coat off to wrap the child with so my hands got a lot of cuts and burns before I could get him to safety, with my partner trying his best to help. My arms took the worst of it. The child lived. I'd do it all over again too.

All the above is what I hammered into my mind and once I looked at it that way, People that know me well enough to know about what caused the scars accept it and people that don't know me just stare sometimes, I've got used to it after 10 years. When I notice somebody staring at me I just smile and think about that little boy and hope he is doing well and is happy wherever he is.

 

[jc972]

Thanks for the compliment lol but I wish I felt attractive :/ I feel that if you see me in person your opinion would change and you would see me as ugly as I see myself...

If I saw you in person I'd think the same.

 

[Odo]

I was born ugly, bad genetics from my father. And I have scars. You see, I have scars up and down my arms and hands from being injured when I was a fireman, and a long, ugly scar on the side of my face from the same thing. I figure if my looks got messed up saving a child in a burning house, it was a worthy cause and I'm cool with it. The house was falling down on top of us while we were getting a small child out of the closet he was hiding in and burning pieces of wood with red hot nails in them, as well as broken, hot glass, was falling on me, right down on our heads. I had taken my fire coat and air mask and put them on the boy so that's where my scars came from. My gloves had to come off to get my coat off to wrap the child with so my hands got a lot of cuts and burns before I could get him to safety, with my partner trying his best to help. My arms took the worst of it. The child lived. I'd do it all over again too.

All the above is what I hammered into my mind and once I looked at it that way, People that know me well enough to know about what caused the scars accept it and people that don't know me just stare sometimes, I've got used to it after 10 years. When I notice somebody staring at me I just smile and think about that little boy and hope he is doing well and is happy wherever he is.

Wow, you're awesome. I would wear those scars like a badge of awesomeness if I had ever found within myself the nutsack to do something like that.

:thumbup: