I hate how I look

[MFDunn]

Hi and first of welcome! I am honored your first post was on my thread Thank you but i don't feel that way at all I have this idea that if you were to see me personally you would see how ugly I see myself :/ = QUOTE]

Honestly I dont think so because you're beautiful and I truly mean it. I would fly out to CA to see how gorgeous you are in person lol....but seriously you're hot. And im not just saying that to make you feel better or to have pity (i know how you might take it this way because I used to feel that way alot when people gave me compliments. I used to think that they felt bad for me and were trying to cheer me up or that my parents had secretly arranged people to give me compliments to make me feel better about myself). I have driven my parents crazy by obsessing about my looks and on top of me feeling like im ugly sometimes(even though im starting to believe that i really am good looking), I feel like my head is too big but everyone tells me its perfectly in proportion with my body and ive even measured it to make sure it was in the average range. And although you really are beautiful, youve got to understand that theres more to a person than just how they look you know? I struggle with that too. And I mean its tough in American society today because we are constantly bombarded with commercials and ads with fake people, or bodies that are simply unattainable by the vast majority of the population, and people are now much more shallow than they have ever been before. MTV,marketing, and the media is ruining our society.

But I just think that you're so clouded in negativity (possibly, I dont mean to assume) that you arent seeing things right, because thats how I was at my worst.

And I'm not a jesus freak or very religious (and im not trying to preach religion to you or anyone on here) but I recently heard a good quote from the bible:

"Things that can be seen are only temporary. But things that can’t be seen last forever"
2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Ps. I would be happy to have you as my gf lol

 

[Odo]

OP-- I'm not saying you're not for real, but it's just amazing to me that someone with a disorder that makes you hate the way you look would make a video and put it on youtube so that everyone can look at you.

I guess it's just not my generation.

 

[jc972]

Wow, you're awesome. I would wear those scars like a badge of awesomeness if I had ever found within myself the nutsack to do something like that.

:thumbup:

I was just doing my job at the time, dude. I don't exactly try to cover them up but at times I will, either long sleeves or my wife will put makeup over them, like for pictures and whatnot or for social functions. I got in the habit of hiding my hands/ tops of my arms if I see a picture coming and the totally non stylish 70's sideburns hide the big one going from the side of my head to the bottom of my ear. The picture of me in one of my albums where I'm wearing a red t shirt, my wife had put make up over the scars on my arms.

 

[Odo]

I was just doing my job at the time, dude.

But not everyone can do that kind of job!
Seriously... that's really cool.

 

[PhobiaTired]

I too have BDD. Some days its worse than others, but its always there. This feeling of being ugly and stared at. I can relate to your video, PhobiaTired. seeing some of the negative. Comments is what makes me not ever want to speak up. Its the reason why I don't speak to family or friends about my BDD or depression. Ultimately it will be seen as me over reacting and being too self conscious. Or worse, perceived as trying to seek attention (although, I don't see why anyone woulds want to seek attention this way..)

All I can say, is that for me... I fake it. Put on a front for family and friends, but at the end of the day I feel just as ugly. I avoid mirrors, and try to think about anything other than what I look like. I also tend to cover my face with a heavy side bang, this helps me. I feel less seen.

Anyway, for what its worth... you are beautiful. And brave! I hope that you will be able to beat the BDD, and allow yourself to be free of such self deprication.

Its a struggle I think we all deal with. But for some of us, its consuming. If you'd ever like to talk, you can, message me

Goodluck with everything...

I would have a side bang also to try and cover one side of my face! It made me feel better but I got tired of having a hard time seeing because hair would always be in my way lol Thank you for your words! I hope that both of us can beat BDD because it gets in the way of us being able to enjoy life...
Cool I'll message you sometime then thanks!

 

[PhobiaTired]

I was born ugly, bad genetics from my father. And I have scars. You see, I have scars up and down my arms and hands from being injured when I was a fireman, and a long, ugly scar on the side of my face from the same thing. I figure if my looks got messed up saving a child in a burning house, it was a worthy cause and I'm cool with it. The house was falling down on top of us while we were getting a small child out of the closet he was hiding in and burning pieces of wood with red hot nails in them, as well as broken, hot glass, was falling on me, right down on our heads. I had taken my fire coat and air mask and put them on the boy so that's where my scars came from. My gloves had to come off to get my coat off to wrap the child with so my hands got a lot of cuts and burns before I could get him to safety, with my partner trying his best to help. My arms took the worst of it. The child lived. I'd do it all over again too.

All the above is what I hammered into my mind and once I looked at it that way, People that know me well enough to know about what caused the scars accept it and people that don't know me just stare sometimes, I've got used to it after 10 years. When I notice somebody staring at me I just smile and think about that little boy and hope he is doing well and is happy wherever he is.

You are a true hero and I admire you! Your experience really touched my heart and reminds me that there are more important things than ones looks. I will try to remember your story whenever I'm having a hard day thanks!

 

[PhobiaTired]

Hi and first of welcome! I am honored your first post was on my thread Thank you but i don't feel that way at all I have this idea that if you were to see me personally you would see how ugly I see myself :/ = QUOTE]

Honestly I dont think so because you're beautiful and I truly mean it. I would fly out to CA to see how gorgeous you are in person lol....but seriously you're hot. And im not just saying that to make you feel better or to have pity (i know how you might take it this way because I used to feel that way alot when people gave me compliments. I used to think that they felt bad for me and were trying to cheer me up or that my parents had secretly arranged people to give me compliments to make me feel better about myself). I have driven my parents crazy by obsessing about my looks and on top of me feeling like im ugly sometimes(even though im starting to believe that i really am good looking), I feel like my head is too big but everyone tells me its perfectly in proportion with my body and ive even measured it to make sure it was in the average range. And although you really are beautiful, youve got to understand that theres more to a person than just how they look you know? I struggle with that too. And I mean its tough in American society today because we are constantly bombarded with commercials and ads with fake people, or bodies that are simply unattainable by the vast majority of the population, and people are now much more shallow than they have ever been before. MTV,marketing, and the media is ruining our society.

But I just think that you're so clouded in negativity (possibly, I dont mean to assume) that you arent seeing things right, because thats how I was at my worst.

And I'm not a jesus freak or very religious (and im not trying to preach religion to you or anyone on here) but I recently heard a good quote from the bible:

"Things that can be seen are only temporary. But things that can’t be seen last forever"
2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Ps. I would be happy to have you as my gf lol

Yes that is so true there is way more to a person than their looks but it is so hard to keep this in mind! I tell myself that but if I'm feeling really down I don't care and become really frustrated and mad at myself for looking the way I do :/ There is a lot of negativity in my mind and its been a constant routine I am really thinking that its time to go see a therapist again...
By the way thats a great quote! I wrote it down thanks

Ps. You just made me smile!

 

[theoutsider]

You have Doe eyes and they're beautiful. I wish you could stop obsessively thinking of them as ugly. They're not...by far.

 

[hardy]

i hate my heart...its too small to accept things as they are. No lies. Hence i am social-phobic .

 

[MFDunn]

OP. Im starting to have second thoughts about this neurontin medication. I only just started taking it last week and it worked great for the first few days but now it is making me have mood swings, sometimes suicidal thoughts, and random anxiety and uncoordinated movements and walking. Plus it has made me feel much physically weaker, and as a pretty built guy I need to be strong for my manual labor job which involves moving alot of metal cast iron pipes and material and also for my position in rugby on my school team.

I have another follow up appointment tomorrow with my doc so im gonna go on something else because this med sucks and I thought id give you a heads up because we obviously have similar mental conditions, and I would hate to find out that it made you do something drastic because I really do enjoy helping people out and that would break my heart.

But stay positive. I know there are meds out there for our condition....prozac has been helping me but I also recently quit smoking weed so that might have something to do with it as well....just throwing that out there.

And remember that you are how you think you are, and you are a beautiful girl with a bright future. Believe and it will become reality. The mind is such a powerful thing.

 

[Flanscho]

When peoples first posts include YouTube videos they made, I always wonder if they just registered to get more clicks on their videos... But maybe I'm too negative? *shrugs*