I feel like something is broken in me..

[DyingInADream]

Gone are the days when I could talk to people. I am overwhelmed by the fear of humiliation and can seldom bring myself to say a word, or even type words. What causes this? I have never been so friendless and alone as I am now. Its like the courage in me has withered away and left nothing but a shell. Has anyone else gone through this? Knowing that I am not alone would help, if even just a little bit. I don't know what to do. The pain that comes from being so closed in is growing greater and greater with each day. I can cope with it now, but I fear that one day it will be too much to deal with. If anyone has gone through this and come out of it, I would really like to know how.

 

[Flanscho]

Well, I've experienced feelings of great loneliness too. Then I started working on building up a circle of friends, and over the years that paid off.

 

[scattereddays]

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing.
This lack of self-control I fear is neverending, controlling...
I can't seem to find myself again, my walls are closing in.
I've felt this way before, so insecure.

I don't know why but I thought of this song by Linkin Park. I isolate myself from the rest of the world more because I choose to, I build a wall around my heart so no one can hurt me. But after a while isolation makes you become weird haha...

Humans are social creatures, closing yourself off is unhealthy mentally. The result of isolation possibly does more harm to your wellbeing than humiliation will. Do you know what caused you to fear humiliation?

 

[Quietguy11]

Feeling in sync with society and just people in general takes work. Ironically enough it is our attitude toward life and people that determine whether we are able to feel connected and accepted. My main problem is that I don't smile. I am friendly in public, but I don't give people access into my space, so that's why I'm always alone. It's not that I want to keep people out of my space it's just that I have a wall up with people because of so many bad experiences in the past with people. Feeling antisocial all the time doesn't help matters any either. I always get annoyed with people, even if the reasons are mundane at best. It's because of these faults in my personality that I have a hard time making opening up with people.

 

[Oncemore117]

Well it's time to just put emotion aside and do the math, rigt now you have very few friends. If you go out there and meet ten ****s but make one friend; you have come out ahead. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, because if some doesn't like you because your shy then thy have serious issues and probally aren't worth your time.

Did that make sense?

 

[Kiwong]

I feel broken too at times. I keep trying and sometimes I win.

 

[Satori_lotus]

I think I know what you're going through, but it's hard to say of course because everyone is different. I've had trouble talking to people for as long as I can remember. I think the most important thing to do is to break out of your mind, this was absolutely key for me. You don't actually realize it until you step away and look but this thing called social phobia or whatever you want to call it is very much mind-oriented, it's suffering that we bring on to ourselves and I know that may seem like crazy but we punish ourselves so often within our minds for example, asking why I did something so stupid earlier in that meeting etc. and we aren't even aware of it because we've gotten so used to it.
It's helped me to get over it by just not over thinking everything and focusing on doing things more. Life's too short for that.

 

[Nooms]

I have definitely gone through a similar situation, actually struggling with meeting new people during my exchange now (studying abroad for a semester). I feel lonely a lot of the time now, but instead of sitting in my room, hiding from the world, I usually end up going for a walk outside, end up daydreaming for ages, wandering off, seeing new things.

What I also realised though is that I do enjoy doing things on my own as well. I feel like right now I'm just afraid of what people think of me for being on my own that much (which is ridiculous, power to the individual! whaah!) Just think of activities you would usually do with friends (or expect other people to do with friends) and do them on your own. Have a cup of coffee at a cafe, go see a movie, just whatever. Keep yourself occupied, that's really important.

What you could also try btw, is hang out more with your family, if that's an option. They are more approachable than strangers, and know you for who you are usually. I know that some people struggle with their family, but if that is not the case for you, you might want to hang out with them more often

 

[Livemylife]

I feel the exact same way, like I'm "broken." I feel like I could've been different and not the unhappy insecure fearful person I am now. For me, it happened over time. I've "snapped" a few times (just last week actually), but overall, my demise was gradual. I thought I'd be stronger, but it's like I'm a tree that people hacked away at for years until I finally fell over. All we can do is hope that things turn around. The only help I can offer you is to tell you I feel broken too, but I don't think I'm beyond repair.

 

[ukmale]

Gone are the days when I could talk to people. I am overwhelmed by the fear of humiliation and can seldom bring myself to say a word, or even type words. What causes this? I have never been so friendless and alone as I am now. Its like the courage in me has withered away and left nothing but a shell. Has anyone else gone through this? Knowing that I am not alone would help, if even just a little bit. I don't know what to do. The pain that comes from being so closed in is growing greater and greater with each day. I can cope with it now, but I fear that one day it will be too much to deal with. If anyone has gone through this and come out of it, I would really like to know how.

Yep sadly I was born with a tiny penis so I have been humiliated pestered laughed at mocked while out shopping with mum and sister I have truly had my fair share of abuse how can I feel like a bloke if I have groups of guys and females just shout out in the street I have been house bound for 8 ****ing yrs