I dont know what to do about this... So confused. And lost.

[HeadFace]

For a while... I've been realizing that one of my very very few true friends is just using me. They don't actually like me. In fact I've found that the only reason I've been talking to them is because I have absolutely noone left.
I've tried to convince myself that I actually do like them. But I don't lie to myself. The real reason that I stay friends with them is because outside of them, well, I'm just completely lonely.

 

[Paahi]

I'm sorry.
I think you should leave them even thought it would be lonely.

 

[HeadFace]

Now there's an oxymoron.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you have any factual evidence that this is the case though? Or could it be paranoia?

Eheh... I dont know what else to call them.

And yeah pretty much. My last friend straight up told me they didnt like me or being around me.
And now my other friend is just treatin me like crap. Putting me last, acting like they don't care about my problems... They arent happy for me when I try to express myself to them. But then they tell me all about their day and whatnot and expect me to be super excited for them.

 

[Thundercats]

Eheh... I dont know what else to call them.

And yeah pretty much. My last friend straight up told me they didnt like me or being around me.
And now my other friend is just treatin me like crap. Putting me last, acting like they don't care about my problems... They arent happy for me when I try to express myself to them. But then they tell me all about their day and whatnot and expect me to be super excited for them.

If they act like this towards you then they don't deserve to be your friend. Why don't you try telling them how you feel about the way they act, and if they continue treating you like this then they're not worth your time, even if you feel they're the only person you can talk to.

 

[HeadFace]

If they act like this towards you then they don't deserve to be your friend. Why don't you try telling them how you feel about the way they act, and if they continue treating you like this then they're not worth your time, even if you feel they're the only person you can talk to.

Yeah... I got similiar advice like this when I asked someone else (also earlier posts)
They think I should just move on and make new friends. But I really cant make new friends by myself. It's impossible. I'm too anxious and paranoid and shy and afraid.

 

[HeadFace]

I guess... at least they were honest in the end?? That does hurt though. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful ::
But what's interesting in cases like this is that you get people like that, who can behave that way, yet its US who are the ones who feel like we have an social disorder?! Those friends clearly have problems too, as there is no comprehensible reason anyone should seem like a "true friend" to somebody they don't care for.
At least we're honest about ourselves.
I don't understand people who don't really care about their friends, I really don't.
I guess if you want to take any kind of guidance out of the situation, next time your friends are being so honest with you about what they really feel maybe you can ask them why they continue to pose as your friend despite these ill-feelings.

Yeah.. At the time it really did hurt. Hell it still hurts to this day. It makes me paranoid about other people now. As in I dont know if I'm actually annoying them.. Or if they're actually enjoying my company.

And yeah, thanks for the support. It means a lot seeing as I dont get much.

And alright, I really hate confrontations... I might have to do that with my current "friend"

 

[Thundercats]

Yeah... I got similiar advice like this when I asked someone else (also earlier posts)
They think I should just move on and make new friends. But I really cant make new friends by myself. It's impossible. I'm too anxious and paranoid and shy and afraid.

I know exactly how you're feeling, but it's not impossible to make friends, even though it may seem hard. There's always someone out there who you can be friends with, you just have to find them. But you don't need to feel like you're alone, i'll be your friend if you want.

 

[MrJones]

If they don't care about you maybe you should start for some new friends. It's not impossible!

But, why is it so hard to find new friends? Depression, low self-esteem... People don't want to make friends with someone who's always sad. This is the first thing you have to change. You have to take some time to yourself, to know yourself better and learn to value yourself and what you have. When you accept yourself and start feeling fine with who you are, even more confident, people will like the real you. And then you will be able to find new friends. And I mean friends, not what you have now. They don't deserve to have you as a friend.

 

[Phoenixx]

I went through something similar already this year. This friend of mine wasn't "using" me, per se, but she was treating me like utter crap. I knew the only reason I kept hanging with her was because of the fact I didn't want to be lonely. So I had two choices: Give up this "friend" who makes me feel horrible, even though I'd be pretty lonely, or keep being friends with her, but end up feeling like crap. I took the first choice, and honestly I'm happier than I thought I'd be. She was horrible to me, and since I haven't been around her, I've felt a little better about myself.


Although, I gotta say latte's choice sounds pretty interesting, but difficult. At least it'd be really difficult for me. Good challenge though.

 

[HeadFace]

If they don't care about you maybe you should start for some new friends. It's not impossible!

But, why is it so hard to find new friends? Depression, low self-esteem... People don't want to make friends with someone who's always sad. This is the first thing you have to change. You have to take some time to yourself, to know yourself better and learn to value yourself and what you have. When you accept yourself and start feeling fine with who you are, even more confident, people will like the real you. And then you will be able to find new friends. And I mean friends, not what you have now. They don't deserve to have you as a friend.

Yeah I know. Everything just seems so hard when you're lonlier though. When I meet new people I try to act like I'm alright and confident.

I went through something similar already this year. This friend of mine wasn't "using" me, per se, but she was treating me like utter crap. I knew the only reason I kept hanging with her was because of the fact I didn't want to be lonely. So I had two choices: Give up this "friend" who makes me feel horrible, even though I'd be pretty lonely, or keep being friends with her, but end up feeling like crap. I took the first choice, and honestly I'm happier than I thought I'd be. She was horrible to me, and since I haven't been around her, I've felt a little better about myself.


Although, I gotta say latte's choice sounds pretty interesting, but difficult. At least it'd be really difficult for me. Good challenge though.

Yeah. I agree. The only flaw is that once I make new friends through them is that they'll probably still be associating with each other and it'd seem like I'm trying to "steal" their friends.

Anyway I will probably go along with the first choice as well. I'm not sure.

 

[The Observer]

Mate just leave them with your head held high and go with some dignity. If they see you trying to cling onto them or hanging around them you will look pathetic. Besides I'm sure there is more better friends out there who will like you.

 

[Phoenixx]

Yeah. I agree. The only flaw is that once I make new friends through them is that they'll probably still be associating with each other and it'd seem like I'm trying to "steal" their friends.

Anyway I will probably go along with the first choice as well. I'm not sure.

^ Yeah I see your point. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[Nanita]

For the last 6 months I´ve been seeing a person that I thought of as a friend, but we are very different and I´ve been annoyed with her a lot... and hurt by stupid things she has said to me.
I was only hanging out with her because I didn´t have anybody else.

Now I have actually become friends with someone I met through her... This new friend is someone I REALLY enjoy being with.. I realize I should never have considered the other girl a friend....

 

[Newtype]

Unfortunately, I think you should cut all ties with this person. You don't have to force yourself to be surrounded by people like that. There are great people in this world and you can be friends with them instead.

 

[IGotSeoul]

And now my other friend is just treatin me like crap. Putting me last, acting like they don't care about my problems... They arent happy for me when I try to express myself to them. But then they tell me all about their day and whatnot and expect me to be super excited for them.

This is not a friend.

I hope you work things out favorably.

 

[alwaysrunning]

attempting to convince yourself of something which is not really there. appreciation, friendship, caring, like, etc never really works. But i understand where you're coming from no one wants to be alone and pretending to like being around someone u really could care less about is much more appealing than actually being alone. Sometimes we need to realize if our apathy is just narurally genuine (we dont have anything in common), or like with other ppl here :that person treats me like #$%%). If its the first one then theres always room for finding commonalities if its the latter i would too just cut all ties. Its been done before you would definetly not be the first one.

 

[HeadFace]

Mate just leave them with your head held high and go with some dignity. If they see you trying to cling onto them or hanging around them you will look pathetic. Besides I'm sure there is more better friends out there who will like you.

Heh, thanks. Right now, I've stopped talking to these self-proclaimed friends of mine. I'm just done, yah know?

Yeah I see your point. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Thanks. And thanks for your support as well.

For the last 6 months I´ve been seeing a person that I thought of as a friend, but we are very different and I´ve been annoyed with her a lot... and hurt by stupid things she has said to me.
I was only hanging out with her because I didn´t have anybody else.

Now I have actually become friends with someone I met through her... This new friend is someone I REALLY enjoy being with.. I realize I should never have considered the other girl a friend....

Ah, I envy your situation then. I really hope I end up like that, instead of just alone.

Unfortunately, I think you should cut all ties with this person. You don't have to force yourself to be surrounded by people like that. There are great people in this world and you can be friends with them instead.

Thank you. I'm working on seperating myself right now, I really am done and fed up. I'd rather be alone actually, rather than continuing being treated like this.

This is not a friend.

I hope you work things out favorably.

Yeah, I realize that.. Thank you. I'll try my hardest.

attempting to convince yourself of something which is not really there. appreciation, friendship, caring, like, etc never really works. But i understand where you're coming from no one wants to be alone and pretending to like being around someone u really could care less about is much more appealing than actually being alone. Sometimes we need to realize if our apathy is just narurally genuine (we dont have anything in common), or like with other ppl here :that person treats me like #$%%). If its the first one then theres always room for finding commonalities if its the latter i would too just cut all ties. Its been done before you would definetly not be the first one.

Ah, thank you. I know what you mean. I think anyone can be friends. But it's the people that I've been talking to lately that make me disregard that belief.
Thanks for your support