I could never get a girlfriend because my SA is worst with girls than guys?

[Moses199]

My preconceived theory is that guys who's SA are worst with girls, are more difficult to get gfs, compared to guys who's SA are less with girls. Let me explain why...

I'm a 6'3 athletic looking guy with average looks, but i could never connect enough with a girl for her to be my GF, eventhough i had good social skills/humor (of course i didn't show this personality when around girls, only guys). My SA is just much worst with girls for some reason. I would talk to them but the conversation always felt plain and not interesting because the SA in my head inhibited me from showing my true self. I believe i could never get a GF is because my SA was far worst with them than guys.

Now i come to believe, the only way to counter this is to pick one girl and talk to them for a long period of time (2-3 month), my theory is that eventually i will get comfortable with her after that long time phase. But my fear is that she will get bored of me and stop talking to me before that phase finishes. What you guys think?

 

[Ignopius]

he will ponder in her head 'why is that guy not asking me out'. Rather then 'hey, let myself take the initiative'. They are taught to let the man do the work for them in the realm of dating. Yes, there are outliers but this is the unfortunate truth.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Well of course she might get bored if you are boring for the first 2-3 months. But not all girls necessarly need to be entertained by words or goofiness.

Who is this "real you" that you think will come out after this period of time?

 

[PugofCrydee]

For a relationship to be successful, one thing needs to happen.. both people genuinely have to be themselves.
If you pretend to be something you're not, well you can't be that way always and generally people will end up sensing you're not being the genuine you.

Just be yourself. If and when you meet a girl she will like you for the person you are - not the person you are pretending to be.

 

[Megaten]

Better yet try talking to lots of different people in casual settings where there's not much pressure or risk of rejection. Try letting a little bit of yourself out with each encounter until you get comfortable with who you are. Also dont look at any women you talk to in this manner as a potential girlfriend as that might send your anxiety through the roof. You should look at it as just practice expressing yourself and communicating.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

Somewhat related...my Sociology class today was about the evolution of lover over the past century. At the end she asked us all to draw an image of love, I drew a question mark.

Any hoots, I decided to start talking to people as through Ive known them a long time, I find it makes it easier to talk to people.

 

[THeCARS1979]

I feel the same way, no luck in dating or anything like it because of SA