I ca't relate to out-going people at all. Can you?

[SmileMore]

I'm talking about people who are really confident and chatty. I just don't know how to act when i'm around them nor do i understand how somebody could be so confident socially. Those people who go to drama or performing art schools are like a different species or something.

I mean, sometimes it's a struggle for me to just go out by myself so it blows my mind that some people would CHOOSE to get up on stage and perform in front of people. Are they crazy?!

 

[coyote]

for many people, it's all a front - they may very well be quite insecure

projecting confidence in public is often a way to keep others at a distance

the more words they can put between themselves and someone else, the more they're protected

you may actually have more in common with them than you think

but you may never find out, because they won't let you get close enough

(or so I've heard tell)

 

[angelcat]

I feel the exact same. In fact outgoing people make me exhausted and annoyed after a while.

These extraverts have a total different chemistry makeup and their brains fire differently.

 

[Smokeringz]

to be outgoing you have to have faith in yourself and belive in your actions and thoughts, just my opinion.

 

[mikebird]

I can't relate to out-going people at all. Can you?

I love this thread! It touches a nerve!

I've been working out for years how to speak to a large audience at my Dad's funeral. I didn't do it at Mum's

If I try, I will turn into a nervous wreck, in outbursts of anger.

I think my problem is that I think of only me, and my life, and nobody else.
I'd blame my upbringing for my state of being. Everything I ever do is either, 50:50 restrained, controlled action, or absolute hate, spiralling into pompous outburst. I don't know what 'bipolar' means. I may be a bit like that. This is why I want a big punchbag

 

[mikebird]

I can't relate to out-going people at all. Can you?

Yep. You're right. All successful people have such a simple life. Just smile and broadcast themselves to following sheep.

I think those might be sportspeople, a musician, or an actor, with an outstanding upbringing. They do what they were told as a child, and then grow to be a person who tells others what to do. No thinking required.

I lived an existence to understand the science of the universe, galaxy, solar system, our planet, the geography, the chemicals, biology and the physical world we're in. Linguist. I see every outgoing person as an ape, with a mind the size of a grain of sugar

Ω≈ç√∫~åß∂ƒ©˙œ∑´®†¥¨^øπ¡€#¢∞§¶•ª

 

[Richey]

I'm talking about people who are really confident and chatty. I just don't know how to act when i'm around them nor do i understand how somebody could be so confident socially. Those people who go to drama or performing art schools are like a different species or something.

I mean, sometimes it's a struggle for me to just go out by myself so it blows my mind that some people would CHOOSE to get up on stage and perform in front of people. Are they crazy?!

See i thing drama and live shows are very different situations to confident outgoing people at say...work or school for instance. cliquey groups who can chat about anything with infinite general knowledge are just from another planet to me, especially because i am placid and shy, where as i think that even shy people can get up on stage for a play because its a controlled situation and people do it as a hobby.

its sort of like me, i dont mind playing basketball in front of a decent crowd, but when i'm at work around a clique that is playful and very chatty then i find that very daunting just trying to keep up and to even respond with something sarcastic or funny if i can think of anything to begin with. i just take time to react, where as most people seem to be able to give input straight away, i need to think about a response. especially under pressure at work which i find a very uncomfortable place to be relaxed in.

 

[Richey]

I'm talking about people who are really confident and chatty. I just don't know how to act when i'm around them nor do i understand how somebody could be so confident socially. Those people who go to drama or performing art schools are like a different species or something.

I mean, sometimes it's a struggle for me to just go out by myself so it blows my mind that some people would CHOOSE to get up on stage and perform in front of people. Are they crazy?!

See i thing drama and live shows are very different situations to confident outgoing people at say...work or school for instance. cliquey groups who can chat about anything with infinite general knowledge are just from another planet to me, especially because i am placid and shy, where as i think that even shy people can get up on stage for a play because its a controlled situation and people do it as a hobby.

its sort of like me, i dont mind playing basketball in front of a decent crowd, but when i'm at work around a clique that is playful and very chatty then i find that very daunting just trying to keep up and to even respond with something sarcastic or funny if i can think of anything to begin with. i just take time to react, where as most people seem to be able to give input straight away, i need to think about a response. especially under pressure at work which i find a very uncomfortable place to be relaxed in.

 

[recluse]

I know what you mean op, those people who can chat for hours, get on stage, sing in karaoke, make people laugh, dance in disco's, have charm etc..Drives me mad with jealousy. It's these people who have success in life because most jobs require people like this.

It's as if these outgoing and confident people are superhuman o'r something, whereas social phobes like us have been dealt a bad hand in life.

 

[Daniel089]

Let me tell you, I barely have social experiences. Yet I have managed to organize a meetup with my former classmate who I haven't spoken to for many years. It all went well, there were moments where I was confused, because of what to say next. But there is one thing I think I know: even though he is outgoing he was as confused at me at some points, we should just realize that our partner is just as (or even more) shy to talk to us for some reason...

 

[twiggle]

It depends what kind of out-going.

There are some kinds of out-going people I really like to be around. They always have something to say and that makes it easier for me on a one-to-one basis, because there's not so much awkward silence. I find it very easy to chat at great length to these kind. The conversation is like a ping-pong game, back and forth - as it should be!

But there's also the kind of out-going that don't let you fit a word in edgeways and only ever talk about themselves or lengthy stories about their brother's girlfriend's sister's friend's mum's dog. These people tire me out and I'm not sure I'd say they're better at socialising than those who are more introverted. Introverts listen and don't assume that what they have to say is more important than what anybody else has to say.

 

[Everett]

No lie, the only way I relate with ANYONE nowadays is over a packed bowl of weed. Ironically, it's also the only way for me to actually remember people.