Falkor
1
Hey,
I think this is really a HSP thing, when people started to talk loud, or even scream, I start to feel empty and i start to stop feeling happy, and feel hurt.. Sounds strange, but it really makes me feel hurt..
I'd rather be someone who can handle this, be just strong enough in these situations, but I can't help it.
But don't get me wrong, nobody is shouting at me or something, but I've just heard some loud noises, my parents were talking about the cleaning in the house, and that always has been going on, screaming because something hasn't been done, or someone who drops something on the floor.. Pff, that's annoying, I wish It could change, but it keeps on going and going. (May be a little OCD?) but.. Yeah, I can say like ''Why make it so big deal, you should just enjoy your evening, not think about the cleaning all the time''. But then they come with a huge discussion or argument that it's so important. And even when I'm eating in the afternoon, at 12 o clock, i remember my dad asking 'Why are you eating now, you will drop something on the floor'' I said, ''what? It's afternoon, i'm supposed to eat, you know, maybe you don't, but i will'' he said ''But are you gonna clean it and put it back where it was'' I said, ''Yes of course, I will do that all, and you don't worry it'll be fine'', and yea yea.. there he was.. I stood up, he pick all my stuff up and brought it to the place, i was thinking like.. Omg didn't you heard that I were about to do that?, But I know, know, know that sometimes I forget it, but is that such a big deal at all? I know it's important to have a clean house, I find it important too, to keep my stuff clean and make it look nice, but this is too much.. You know. So back to the eating in the afternoon part, my dad came back and he pick all the bread crumbs of the chair plucking, I was like Omg, this is terrible. And it was all because, my mom was coming home a hour after I was eating. And yes, My mom was again, talking about the cleaning again when she came home after she arrived a few minutes and it happened again and again, the shouting part, frustrated about cleaning and me feeling hurt because of the loud noises.
(I can't help my emotions, they are just strong.. very heavy).
At this moment it makes me feel a little frustrated too, but of course I accept them the way they are, but it's just .. like.. I need to control these things, like my emotions coming in, because i don't think this will change.
My grandma is like this too, she gets so angry when the dog comes out of dirt in the house, that kinda things. Maybe I'm not like them but in some way I am, because I find it very important to make myself look perfectly and brush my teeth everyday twice or more and shower everyday and make sure I smell right. And stuff, but still..
I wish I could control my emotions about loud noises.
I just can't control my heavy emotions, my psych just told me I suffer from hyper high sensetive feelings, or something like that. Whatever it's supposed to call in English. And I just got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and having fear of social situations (Social Phobia)
Well, see ya
I think this is really a HSP thing, when people started to talk loud, or even scream, I start to feel empty and i start to stop feeling happy, and feel hurt.. Sounds strange, but it really makes me feel hurt..
I'd rather be someone who can handle this, be just strong enough in these situations, but I can't help it.
But don't get me wrong, nobody is shouting at me or something, but I've just heard some loud noises, my parents were talking about the cleaning in the house, and that always has been going on, screaming because something hasn't been done, or someone who drops something on the floor.. Pff, that's annoying, I wish It could change, but it keeps on going and going. (May be a little OCD?) but.. Yeah, I can say like ''Why make it so big deal, you should just enjoy your evening, not think about the cleaning all the time''. But then they come with a huge discussion or argument that it's so important. And even when I'm eating in the afternoon, at 12 o clock, i remember my dad asking 'Why are you eating now, you will drop something on the floor'' I said, ''what? It's afternoon, i'm supposed to eat, you know, maybe you don't, but i will'' he said ''But are you gonna clean it and put it back where it was'' I said, ''Yes of course, I will do that all, and you don't worry it'll be fine'', and yea yea.. there he was.. I stood up, he pick all my stuff up and brought it to the place, i was thinking like.. Omg didn't you heard that I were about to do that?, But I know, know, know that sometimes I forget it, but is that such a big deal at all? I know it's important to have a clean house, I find it important too, to keep my stuff clean and make it look nice, but this is too much.. You know. So back to the eating in the afternoon part, my dad came back and he pick all the bread crumbs of the chair plucking, I was like Omg, this is terrible. And it was all because, my mom was coming home a hour after I was eating. And yes, My mom was again, talking about the cleaning again when she came home after she arrived a few minutes and it happened again and again, the shouting part, frustrated about cleaning and me feeling hurt because of the loud noises.
(I can't help my emotions, they are just strong.. very heavy).
At this moment it makes me feel a little frustrated too, but of course I accept them the way they are, but it's just .. like.. I need to control these things, like my emotions coming in, because i don't think this will change.
My grandma is like this too, she gets so angry when the dog comes out of dirt in the house, that kinda things. Maybe I'm not like them but in some way I am, because I find it very important to make myself look perfectly and brush my teeth everyday twice or more and shower everyday and make sure I smell right. And stuff, but still..
I wish I could control my emotions about loud noises.
I just can't control my heavy emotions, my psych just told me I suffer from hyper high sensetive feelings, or something like that. Whatever it's supposed to call in English. And I just got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and having fear of social situations (Social Phobia)
Well, see ya
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