I can't handle anger/loud voices/overreacting

Hey,

I think this is really a HSP thing, when people started to talk loud, or even scream, I start to feel empty and i start to stop feeling happy, and feel hurt.. Sounds strange, but it really makes me feel hurt.. :confused:
I'd rather be someone who can handle this, be just strong enough in these situations, but I can't help it.

But don't get me wrong, nobody is shouting at me or something, but I've just heard some loud noises, my parents were talking about the cleaning in the house, and that always has been going on, screaming because something hasn't been done, or someone who drops something on the floor.. Pff, that's annoying, I wish It could change, but it keeps on going and going. (May be a little OCD?) but.. Yeah, I can say like ''Why make it so big deal, you should just enjoy your evening, not think about the cleaning all the time''. But then they come with a huge discussion or argument that it's so important. And even when I'm eating in the afternoon, at 12 o clock, i remember my dad asking 'Why are you eating now, you will drop something on the floor'' I said, ''what? It's afternoon, i'm supposed to eat, you know, maybe you don't, but i will'' he said ''But are you gonna clean it and put it back where it was'' I said, ''Yes of course, I will do that all, and you don't worry it'll be fine'', and yea yea.. there he was.. I stood up, he pick all my stuff up and brought it to the place, i was thinking like.. Omg didn't you heard that I were about to do that?, But I know, know, know that sometimes I forget it, but is that such a big deal at all? I know it's important to have a clean house, I find it important too, to keep my stuff clean and make it look nice, but this is too much.. You know. So back to the eating in the afternoon part, my dad came back and he pick all the bread crumbs of the chair plucking, I was like Omg, this is terrible. And it was all because, my mom was coming home a hour after I was eating. And yes, My mom was again, talking about the cleaning again when she came home after she arrived a few minutes and it happened again and again, the shouting part, frustrated about cleaning and me feeling hurt because of the loud noises.
(I can't help my emotions, they are just strong.. very heavy).

At this moment it makes me feel a little frustrated too, but of course I accept them the way they are, but it's just .. like.. I need to control these things, like my emotions coming in, because i don't think this will change.
My grandma is like this too, she gets so angry when the dog comes out of dirt in the house:p, that kinda things. Maybe I'm not like them:p but in some way I am, because I find it very important to make myself look perfectly and brush my teeth everyday twice or more and shower everyday and make sure I smell right. And stuff, but still..
I wish I could control my emotions about loud noises.

I just can't control my heavy emotions, my psych just told me I suffer from hyper high sensetive feelings, or something like that. Whatever it's supposed to call in English. And I just got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and having fear of social situations (Social Phobia:p)

Well, see ya
 
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just wanna b normal

Well-known member
yeah i feel like that after an arguement or loud noises. empty. idk it just make me realize my life sucks & i hate my life stupid SA ruin my life. like i have nothing to fall back on cuzz i havent gotten anywhere in life thats why i fell empty...:mad:::(: BTW i love your signature:)
 
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Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
In the situation you are describing above, it doesn't sound like your problem. Your mum, sounds like a clean freak, and your dad is probably pussy whipped. It is natural for anyone to get upset when they are being affected by a person with different habbits to yourself. The only thing you can do is try and seperate yourself from the situation. Go to your room, put on some headphones, and listen to some music or something.
 

Pookah

Well-known member
Shouting/anger stimulates an anxious response in me. I need to get away from it, I recoil from it.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
hmm I am HSP so I get agitated by loud noises yeah. I have lived on a construction site cuz we were working on building a house for yrs and that was really hard to deal with, as you can imagine. Always and air compressor going off and at all hours of the day and night too...mostly at night so I feel frazzled a lot form it - i never want to be living near a wood shop again like I do now it's just ridiculous especially when he decides to do stuff at 3 am with a router... :( I hate it.
 

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
I can definitely relate to the loud noises/yelling thing, I wouldn't really say that it makes me feel empty, more like really really anxious and nervous. If two people are arguing and things escalate, I start to panic. Even if people are doing it on tv, I have to change the channel.

I don't think it has to do with being highly sensitive though. So maybe it's a different feeling/situation. Loud noises really bother me too though.

As far as your mom goes, it sounds like she has OCD or something. And as for your dad, I think it's a little rude to call him "pussy whipped." He probably just doesn't want to upset her and he knows how little things can get your mom frazzled, so he is probably always stressed out and panicked himself. Sounds like a tough situation to be in.
 

Social-E-Aukward

Well-known member
Loud noises are a big anxiety trigger for me as well. Especially when it involves someone raising their voice at me. I hate being criticized. I often take it way too personally.

But in your case, I think your dad is being a bit ridiculous. You said you would clean it up, but he didn't even give you a chance to follow through with your promise. To me it seems like he doesn't believe you would have followed through with it. My parents sometimes don't believe me with things like that as well. It's very frustrating for me. I have five siblings, and it's like they can't even keep it straight that I'm "the one who actually cleans up after myself". :(
 

Richey

Well-known member
It actually really annoys me. There are alot of people who talk loud and in a stressed manner and it actually makes me cringe. I just want to be around people who are a bit more chilled and relaxed. I would love to have a friend like J Mascis, someone really placid. all of my friends in the past were really arrogant and loud and a bit condescending to people ...and it stressed me out.

this is why since about a year ago i have been looking for more relaxed, chilled people to befriend which hasn't happened.

I remember going to a concert a few years ago there were a bunch of around 4 friends sitting next to us not saying much but they were very relaxed and content and when they did speak they would relalx & think things through and this meant that when they talked to each other it was much slower and more interesting. they started talking to me as well and i would have loved to have made friends with these people which is hard to explain on a forum it was a "had to be there" sort of moment.

It also bothers me that older people tend to be loud and arrogant, angry etc, people who feel they need to be condescending and pushy, i really have no time for anymore yet there seems to be alot of them around. People who can talk loud and be arrogant yet they seem to have little substance in their opinions and it still feels like they won the argument because they pushed the issue even though it was actually their opinion and the other persons opinion was just as valid.
 
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3lefts

Well-known member
In these situations I just put in my headphones and the music does the rest :)
I think your feelings are reasonable.
 
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