I can't break up with girlfriends

[gustavofring]

My girlfriend and I called it quits tonight.

It was a long distance relationship (had to learn that lesson) About a year ago I wanted to call it quits too but because she reacted quite emotionally and because I still had feelings for her it didn't happen. It has limped on ever since, and for the past month or so it has gotten really bad. We both are pretty depressed and we hardly see each other, and hardly talked to each other anymore. It was really getting painful and I felt powerless. I knew inside it couldn't last but I didn't have the guts to break up. I guess I also was afraid of her reaction (last time she really got panicky and threatened to harm herself) and so I created a hope for myself that things would get better. It was like rowing against the stream.

So tonight she finally talked to me and she herself was open to breaking up with me. It's better this way we both agreed. I feel really weird, on the one hand I am relieved but I am also sad and feel a bit empty. I'm feeling disappointed in myself and the fact that things didn't work out.

I also lament the fact that I couldn't do it before, had to wait until she dumped me. Sorry for the drama, just feeling a bit down.

 

[dottie]

@gustav understandable. breakups are always the harshest learning experiences. hang in there! you will find someone else eventually (not that this will be a priority for a long time). you will feel happiness again. just ride this out.

 

[laure15]

Sorry to hear about this, but it's probably for the best. If the relationship doesn't feel right, then it's probably not meant to be. I wish you the best in your recovery.

 

[Nathália]

Sorry Gustavo, You have a big heart and it seems like you really want to make it work with someone, you just have to find that find that right someone. Break-ups can make a person feel like crap, I wish you a good recovery.

 

[gustavofring]

Thanks everyone. I have nobody to talk to right now so I'm glad I atleast have found this forum with so many supportive people.

 

[MikeyC]

If she was threatening self-harm, then it's no wonder you couldn't break up with her, even if you wanted to. I would be scared for her safety.

I understand your reluctance to want to break up. It's a big moment that has the potential for fighting, name-calling, anger, sadness, and all those other awful emotions that you want to avoid at all costs.

You feel down and out right now about it, but that's because it's so raw. Give it time and those feelings will dissipate and then you can get into the fun (?) game of dating again!