I routinely assume people have selfish reasons for contesting me. I imagine that they want to beat me down, hurt me, and stomp my pride in order to build up their own ego. I feel that their goals are sinister at worst, and malevolent at best. This might be crazy, but no human being can be totaly righteous, and we all have our alterior motives. However, I think I may have a serious problem with this. I habitualy accuse others of having hostile intent towards me, even my own mother! I often spend a great deal of time fantasizing about the ways in which other people are out to get me. When it's revealed they don't have the intentions I imagined, I often feel intense guilt and shame.
I suppose this is an extreme form of emotional thinking, and is probably rooted in my neurologicaly-based Generalized Obsessive Disorder (aka, OCPD). [yes I made up the name, and yes it's justified]. Here are some of my typical automatic thoughts when another person confronts me. I realize now that these may be very disturbed or even schizophrenic:
1. They want to punish me for offending them.
2. They want to strip me of my power (truth is power to me), because making me weak (proving me wrong) makes them feel strong.
3. They are personaly threatened by my truthful statement and are too cowardly to face reality, hence they seek to destroy me.
4. They want to perpetrate some evil against the world or some group of people, and my revelation of the truth threatens their intentions. (Messiah complex?)
5. They are inferior to me in capabilities, character and morality.
6. They are callous, cruel, malevolent, or sinister.
7. They are dishonest, unrespectable, or reprehensible.
8. They personaly dislike me or hate me.
9. They want me to experience devestating shame and guilt along with possible suicidal thoughts.
I suppose this is an extreme form of emotional thinking, and is probably rooted in my neurologicaly-based Generalized Obsessive Disorder (aka, OCPD). [yes I made up the name, and yes it's justified]. Here are some of my typical automatic thoughts when another person confronts me. I realize now that these may be very disturbed or even schizophrenic:
1. They want to punish me for offending them.
2. They want to strip me of my power (truth is power to me), because making me weak (proving me wrong) makes them feel strong.
3. They are personaly threatened by my truthful statement and are too cowardly to face reality, hence they seek to destroy me.
4. They want to perpetrate some evil against the world or some group of people, and my revelation of the truth threatens their intentions. (Messiah complex?)
5. They are inferior to me in capabilities, character and morality.
6. They are callous, cruel, malevolent, or sinister.
7. They are dishonest, unrespectable, or reprehensible.
8. They personaly dislike me or hate me.
9. They want me to experience devestating shame and guilt along with possible suicidal thoughts.
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