I am so depressed

[Phoenixx]

And no, asking other people to talk about themselves while you don't say anything about yourself is like throwing all the burden on them if let's say they didn't have much to say about themself so you should play it safe, it's also not sharing and connecting and this is not something robotic I'm talking about, I have true emotion and care if I were to talk to someone. And if let's say the conversation ends, it just means that you two weren't connecting well or were taking a break and that's ok.

Please don't get me wrong. I never said don't talk about yourself and I'm sorry if I gave that impression. By asking people questions about themselves gets a flow going for you to "bounce" off from, and depending on the person, they will do the same. For example, a conversation I had with a coworker today:

Coworker: "Hey, if you don't mind me asking, are you married or have any kids?" (Context: I already know he has kids and is married, he mentioned it in a prior conversation, so this question wasn't entirely random nor did I find it inappropriate. Just casual curiosity)
Me: "I'm married, but I don't have kids. I prefer it that way, haha."
Coworker: "Haha, fair enough! I get it!"
Me: "How old are your kids?"
Coworker: "My oldest is 9 and my youngest is 7. I have 2 girls."
Me: "Awww!"
Coworker: "Yeah... but they're alot of work, haha!"
Me: "I bet!"
Coworker: "So do you have furbabies since you don't have kids?"
Me: "Yeah I have a German Shepherd and a cat. Plus my husband and I have a small farm too. We have some chickens and goats."
Coworker: "Oh no way! That's cool!"

He then proceeded to ask me a couple more questions about my farm which eventually led to me asking him questions about what he likes to do on his days off, him telling me about working on projects and such, etc. before we went back to focusing on our tasks. He's a very outgoing person, so it was easy to keep a flow of conversation going since he did a lot of the socializing haha.

But my point is, by asking questions to other people it opens up a flow of conversation, thus a level of connection of some sort. It's not meant to place a burden at all and I feel it would only place a burden on someone if you went about it like you were interrogating them, with one question after another with nothing said about yourself.

Also keep in mind that sometimes the flow of conversation won't be that great, especially if talking with other extremely introverted people that don't have much to say. Like you said, sometimes the connection won't be there, and that's perfectly okay.

 

[lily]

Please don't get me wrong. I never said don't talk about yourself and I'm sorry if I gave that impression. By asking people questions about themselves gets a flow going for you to "bounce" off from, and depending on the person, they will do the same. For example, a conversation I had with a coworker today:

Coworker: "Hey, if you don't mind me asking, are you married or have any kids?" (Context: I already know he has kids and is married, he mentioned it in a prior conversation, so this question wasn't entirely random nor did I find it inappropriate. Just casual curiosity)
Me: "I'm married, but I don't have kids. I prefer it that way, haha."
Coworker: "Haha, fair enough! I get it!"
Me: "How old are your kids?"
Coworker: "My oldest is 9 and my youngest is 7. I have 2 girls."
Me: "Awww!"
Coworker: "Yeah... but they're alot of work, haha!"
Me: "I bet!"
Coworker: "So do you have furbabies since you don't have kids?"
Me: "Yeah I have a German Shepherd and a cat. Plus my husband and I have a small farm too. We have some chickens and goats."
Coworker: "Oh no way! That's cool!"

Oh ok! Yeah that's great!

 

[Miserum]

For me my inner voice and my gut are two separate feelings. My intuition doesn't always dictate the voice in my head or vice versa. I can't say it hasn't happened before, but it's rare now for me. Like I said it took me a long time to start to truly listen to my gut feeling and know the difference. It's hard for me to explain or put into words properly, and I wish I could. I just know the difference. That's incredibly not helpful I know, haha.

I'll try to think some more on that.

I honestly slightly envy people who are able to achieve connections so easily. It's a natural skill I'll never have. One of my friends is a complete extrovert who also is great at connecting with others. She's just someone who can walk into a room full of people and she already has their attention. I'm not even talking about looks here -- even though she is pretty -- she is just naturally charismatic and can make connections with people I've never seen anyone else able to do as effectively as she can. It's quite impeccable and going to events with her as an awkward sidekick friend actually helped me learn a bit too communicating with others. Believe me, I'm definitely not perfect making connections, and most of the time I don't have a desire to, but I can make small connections here and there much better than I used to.

I hate your friend already.

 

[Nightmaremode11]

When you break up what you are saying in its entire context, it comes down to a total lack of confidence. Insecurity and feeling out of place/and inappropriate when trying to mingle in social circles, comes with knowing the minds eye (the conscience) better, and how it connects with other consciences from other people around you. Despite the fact that we are all making eye contact with the physical eyes, the real eye everyone is connecting with is the third-eye, which is in the forehead. Synchronizing properly with the third-eye requires a level of conscious-commendability that, is, more or less, hit and miss sometimes when in groups that have more than one other person.

In fact, the more numbers that are added to a social circle, the more you would have to work harder at commending your conscience to theirs, and they would also have to do the same. A total lack of awareness of this completely, thinking that everything is happening through the physical eyes, would already produce a level of inadequacy and social awkwardness that could not even remotely be strengthened apart from realizing it. The best solution from this moment forward would be to find what you are most talented/skilled at, and develop confidence and diligence through perfecting it. At the same time continue to research on all the tested and affirmed studies that promote methods in which more confidence can be obtained. Otherwise, we lose the battle every time in a world that is animalistic (based on survival of the fittest instincts.)