I am a creep and others can sense it

[FriendlyShadow]

I am a creep for particular reasons. I give others that awkward vibe when I speak to them, but whatever comes out of my mouth gives the response of an awkward smiled facial expression. My body language doesn't help me either and sends another awkward rush down other people's spines. I feel like I am on of those creeps from some horror flick hiding myself in the shadows and attack my prey. Any humor, conversation i have is considered to be weird and mysterious that defines myself and aura. I feel like I am Christina Ricci in that movie Prozac Nation. What I can recall one quote that I think most people would feel as if they were:

"I didn't fit in with most kids in school. They thought I was strange, so they made me feel like a stranger."

The quotes sums up the rest of my life. I'm a stranger with some sort of altered personality disorder. It's frightening, knowing that I can't escape the restriction of darkness that binds me. I actually feel sorry for the norm groups. They only just want to live by their rules and expectations on things. No one can ever be themselves. I can't stop thinking of what other people will think of me. Being judged by such harsh remarks and degrading put down of insults continues to grow my pain and drown my happiness. I don't like myself, I wish I was never me. I wish I wasn't even my own gender race. I hate how most girls are today too. No one I can relate to. No one who loves me. No one who will stop talking sh*t to me and start treating me with goodness and compassion. No one to hug me. No one to tell me it's ok. None of these things to offer, but I guess the lucky people have the greater fortune to make it through their journeys. Maybe, soon as I develop with time, it'll grow on me. I can't say whether that can be good or bad. I can't feel anything right now. I don't know whether I should feel sad, angry, happy, confused, or anything. I am a new person each day. I'm a new person within the time passing by. There's no character about me because I don't have the characteristics of that being defined as me. I even think I've become a stranger to myself. I don't know who I want to be(or at least people want me to be) I could just be like quasimodo and hide from society forever, this notre dame world we actually live in I suppose. So that's all i had to say. To others out there, don't be how I am. I never had a great child hood, I never had a great family of support to help me. I am changing too much as I grow up, I could be on the danger sign of a multiple personality disorder. I hope this is just my depression talking phase, but then again, I could be right about the rest. ::

 

[Bo592]

I know how you feel Michael Myers here I feel like a creepy person too most of the time. none of my words, none of my interest match anyone else so I find it hard to fit in to. But I am starting to feel some how it just a feeling I hope it would pass.

 

[mikebird]

I found an article when googling for a reason why I got fired again after so many years. I read a few phrases such as 'social energy vampire' - anything negative

I'd been aware of my social ineptitude in an office which I was trying to resolve
after years thinking my skills and experience was always enough to do my job.
I couldn't comprehend any need to be bubbly and bounce around like a celebrity all day

This is what led me to this SPW in 2011
feeling lost

Prozac Nation was important to me.

I think it takes a lot of effort to realise I couldn't fit in. You can't just change yourself to be a different person they want. They should change if they're not content with the situation

 

[nicole1]

I think it's that people don't get you. I don't think you're a creep. Fake normal social interactions. There are some people who just laugh at others stupid jokes.

I just think some of us don't fit in with others. I know my jokes don't work well with others, which is sometimes funny since now offensive jokes are in. I also know that I think too much.

I fit in okay if I don't talk. And you'd be surprised how normal you actually are in some peoples eyes. Maybe you're hanging around the wrong people. I felt that people thought I was weird, creepy or crazy but then I found out my last year in high school that THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME! They just thought I was quiet and a bit stuck up. Which was true.

Look at someone you consider normal. Compare their actions to yours. Look at what you talk about with people. What do you find funny?

You're likely more normal or seem more normal than many people think.

 

[jaim38]

You are not alone. And I think you need a hug **hugs**. In the past, my classmates and other people have made me feel like a creep. In class, I kept to myself and didn't talk to people for the most part. There were people who called me gay probably because I look nervous around girls, but truth is, I am also nervous around guys. Social skills and proper body language don't come naturally to me probably because of the way I was raised. I am grateful to my parents for everything that they've done for me, but I wish they could have taught me better social skills.

 

[Diend]

don't be too pressured to act "normal". You don't owe anybody anything. It's not like your life is in danger if you seem creepy. A good way to avoid that is to pay a lot of attention to how you look: hair, clothes, hygiene. It might help at first.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I'm not sure if there's anything improper of my looks. However, I do look a lot unusual because of my weight because I look as skinny as a piece of twig. It's just the way I speak which doesn't really confirm to the normality of how others reactions would be expected. Though, I feel as if i am those nice people that would do anything for others, but view me overall as the boring creep I always was and always will be.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Thanks Jaim, it's been pretty tough for me. I'm just glad some people can take the time to understand where I'm coming from.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Nicole01, yes I do quite agree that I do enclose myself with the wrong people. However, it does raise the question if I'll ever be able to get away from them. The true, different people are very difficult to find no doubt. The only reason I am unwilling to speak with others expectation is because of how they treated me and how they still treat me now. As nothing more than being treated like litter. I know I made a lot of posts informing others what people have done to me. Certain people I can't trust. Certain past issues that won't diminish from my mind. It stays stuck like glue. And here I am in 2013 as far as I can't believe I could still make it this far, surprisingly still alive and haven't even attempted to do self murder yet. Most humans I see in my eyes are rotten to the core. I'll start talking with people when I see some good hearted sympathy and respect from them. Till then if that day shall come, I'll be the hunch back as I am.

 

[Kiwong]

Some people are uncomfortable being around me. It kills me inside that I annoy or scare people.