How the heck does a person suffering from SA can make friends?

I

itay

Active member
Hi to all,
I just was wondering how people like me can make friends, i know it could not be the best place to ask, but since there are many of you that out there that got friends and even a gf o bf, i thought i could get some advice.
The problem i face is that i can't manage to get to step 2 when getting to know a person, i mean that i can't get to know a person really well. It's 4 years i'm in this company, is like if it's the first time everytime i face a collegue.
At the begginging when i've to meet a stranger i can even be outgoing, and talk even a lot, i use this tecnique to overcome the fear, but then jiust i can't get to know that person, the following times infact the fear will get so high (even if i've already seen that person), my conversation skills will drop, i'll get dissapointed for this and even that person that thought i was an outgoing person, that person will find me unpleasent, and will start picking on me for this, i'll react and that person will pick on me even more, so i'll stop talking to him and i'll stop facing him for this. You soffeing from SA, how have you manage to overcome the fear and get to know the people you are in touch?
 
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N

northernlywest

Member
I have a few close friends and I have a boyfriend. But I met my boyfriend online and that made him easier to meet in real life.
My close friends are online ones. I dont have any in the real world, we just keep in contact through msn & email although one we do send xmas presents to each other and we did meet up once and got on well.

But I always find talking to someone and getting to know them over the internet, always makes it that little bit easier for me to meet them in real life.

But I am absolutely no good at meeting someone new and talking to them in real life. Online just makes it easier. You can make all the new introductions without having to do it face to face.
 
N

northernlywest

Member
Sorry forgot to say also, Is it possible to email a colleague? Keep the conversation going that way and if you're anything like me, it will be easier when you want to continue the friendship face to face.
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
i have a gf also met online to be honest i say things online to people id never say to people in real life , as far as getting to know people in real life is concerned , just dont try to hard and dont worry about what your going to say , the trouble with sa is you worry about what people will think about you ..... i dont really worry to much about that anymore , i just go with the flow of conversation .....
 
Noca

Noca

Banned
I met my best friend 18+ years ago, as for the rest of my friends and gf's, I met them online first then in real life.
 
lollipop103

lollipop103

Active member
It's always easier at first, I think. But gradually you'll either run out of topics to talk about or get on well with that person. Sometimes it just goes nowhere. :(
I find it easier to talk to less intimidating people (like.. it sounds really bad to say this, but people who aren't as beautiful or swarmed by people all the time). Although all the people I talk to now I've known forever (or it feels like it), so I usually don't have a problem expressin myself. I'd like to get to know more people in my new school though, and that's really difficult. D:
 
shore_of_glass

shore_of_glass

Well-known member
I've always wished for that close-knit group of friends. Friends, not people you know.

My circle of "friends" consists in about 5 people maybe. Those 5 people know me because of my best friend, who has a mild SA. If I didn't meet him, I think I'd be completely alone now.

But Im not nearly close to any of those 5 friends. If I'm left alone with one of them, I just throw my superficial me. And thats it.

It's rather frustrating not being able to get close to someone. On top of that, someone who is nice and seems like a good person... Frustrating.
 
Jin

Jin

Well-known member
yeah me too... i suck in talking people in real life.... i mean i cant even look them in the eyes when we talk.... but i can keep up in talking through the internet like chat, e-mails...
 
SpLynx

SpLynx

Well-known member
Jin said:
yeah me too... i suck in talking people in real life.... i mean i cant even look them in the eyes when we talk.... but i can keep up in talking through the internet like chat, e-mails...
Click to expand...

me too... I really dont know how will I make any friends in real :(

Back in my country I had friends from high school and university but then I moved and I have no one here... No one is willing to talk with me in the language I know.. Plus I am already not too talkative and a bit weird... I dont get out much... I am feeling too bad about it.
 
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