This time I had my appointment right on time since instead of having another patient before me the psychologist came back from lunch. She started by asking me what I've been up to, and she was glad to know my graduation project is keeping me busy so I don't just stay idle at home. Then she asked me about my main assignment, which was the formal business proposal. I explained her that I didn't do it it since after the initial research, first, I found out that to work with plastics there doesn't seem to be a middle ground between big industrial machinery and amounts of material, and the ridiculously small amounts managed by a hobby purposed apparatus, that merely can work to make pieces of the size of a button; and second, my lack of experience on industrial matters, since I haven't had a real engineering job, things that ended up discouraging me and making me consider my idea as not something worth looking much into. She pointed out that I had given up on defeatist and immobilizing thoughts, but also told me a couple things to motivate me to follow up my idea. She mentioned some government programs aimed at the aid of entrepreneurs, where if well sold, they may link my idea with the appropriate businessmen and industries to carry it on. She also gave me a real example of someone who made a successful enterprise without business experience or formation, and encouraged me to look out on the aid programs and making the business proposal.
Next she asked me about the assigned reading, which was basically a chapter of a book that examined how the western concept of love it's a limited one and the Greeks had two more appropriate words for it; Eros for the passion and physical attraction, and Agape for the intellectual attraction, the affection and companionship. The reading explained how many relationships that start because of the eros end up failing because of the lack of agape. The psych told me that in general lines most men are more interested in the former, specially when they're young, while most women are more focused in the later. She asked me about the attitudes I perceived from my classmates, and I told her how I actually have never heard them mentioning a woman for something like an accomplishment or a talent, but only because and about her looks. She told me that women are aware of this and how they dislike it very much, then asking me which qualities of an "ideal" guy who would represent both aspects of love to her partner I would have. With some hesitation, since I still don't feel comfortable saying good things about myself, I said that I'm in no position of rouse any passion since I can't even get myself noticed in the first place, but that I can be a good listener, show empathy and be supportive. There she decided to have a look at that by setting up a quick role playing where she would be a hurt woman telling me why she was crying; she made up a little story about a woman who was planning to move with her boyfriend of two years, but right before that he admitted that while he was away doing his internship as medicine student he had cheated on her because he felt alone, but that she still had feelings for him and didn't knew if go ahead with the moving or not. I told her that I wouldn't be telling her what to do, but to consider that as a doctor he'll probably be very busy and spend more time with his coworkers than with her, so he wasn't unlikely of "feeling alone" again. She asked me what I thought of cheating and I answered what I've always thought, that if someone can't just stop and realize he had a very strong to be with someone else, so instead of talking that out with their partner they give up and cheat, that means that two key elements on a relationship like commitment and trust are gone, and pretty much same thing for the relationship. Here she said "There you go, you know how men think, you did listened well and showed that you care, and although you tend assume the worst case scenario when it comes about yourself, you aren't clueless about how women in general think", and told me that many of her patients and friends complain how they can't find a men who personality wise, would be me.
Once again she emphasized that once I make an initial approach, and manage to start a conversation, the girl will be the one most likely leading it and I'll have to do little more than listen to her. But knowing that I'm on vacation time and not being around many people she said that by now she wanted to give me a little assignment to see how I feel about my loneliness beyond the feeling bad at home. So she told me to go and watch a movie in a theatre by myself, during a weekend where it's more crowded so it would make me more anxious, and she wants me to pay attention to how do I feel in that environment where the rest of the people is there with company, and what thoughts came in. From the options I have I think I would like to see Pacific Rim since the tumblr nerds loved it, and I do like the movies of Guillermo del Toro, although I'm not sure if it'll be on screen by this weekend. While she was printing my referral for the next appointment I told her how I'm worried that once I get a job, and how I'll start studying too shortly afterwards, I won't have time to do almost nothing except on weekends where I'll be exhausted and with homework anyway, not to mention how engineering it's a male dominated field, so I'm feeling hopeless about meeting women even if I wasn't anxious about approaching them. She reminded me that most people are pretty busy professionally, and yet they have time for a relationship, that there still will be female students at college and every enterprise has female employees even if it's an industry, and I would be able to at least have female friends who would have their own female friends who I could eventually meet, but most important, I just can't know how it would be so I can't be hopeless, not that I raise expectations, simply to wait and see what would happen by then. She told me to see her again on a month or less once I had made my assignments.