How should I hit on my psychologist?

How should I flirt with my psychologist?

Yes that's what I'm asking, and before you ask "wtf are you doing?" Well, it was my therapist the one who told me to do it.

You'll see, to keep it short, since I'm 6 I've had a pathological fear to express interest in women. It didn't bothered me until I was 16, and it got so frustrating over the years that I finally overcame the fear of my parents finding out, and started seeing a therapist to try to fix this problem. A week ago, on our second session, I mentioned this idea I've got for quite a while that says that I can imagine people liking me, but not really loving me; then it was when it got interesting. We talked about what women want then and she told me that I need to accept the fact that I am a good looking guy and that I probably cause always a good first impression and I'm wasting that. She also told me that being attractive, a good listener, intelligent, and not a fan of getting drunk, high or smoking, I'm quite a good catch, and she insisted that all that is a truth I need to get in my head. She cleared up that she wasn't hitting on me or just complimenting me for the sake of it. I like that she's not very PC, according to her if I wasn't attractive she would just gave me the typical "what only matters is what's inside" talk. Not that she thinks the inside doesn't matter, but she acknowledges the fact that good looking people have a head-start when approaching others.

Then she told me that I need to physically loosen up because I'm too tense, and I need to improve eye contact. I try to keep it but eventually I end up looking away. And she said I need to move more loosely so I need to make dancing movements every day.

And the she told me that my homework for the next appointment, which nest Thursday, I have to try to hit on her. Well she told me I must make a plan and practice with her, while she makes observations and corrections to what I'll be doing, like role playing.

Still some friends have told me this is very unusual and that she was seemingly hitting on me (she's young and attractive, on her early 30s, maximum). And others told me it was normal. People in both sides have been to therapy so I'm not sure. Personally I think she was trying to lift my mood, and if want to get somewhere, I better start to believe what she told me. But is hard to believe one is allegedly desirable when one is alone (I recognize women have been interested in me to some degree to another).

This is, between depression, homework, and a stupid cold I think I'm just getting, I haven't really been on a mindframe to think about how to do this assignment, and the few times I've tried to I feel completely clueless, since I've never done this in my entire life (I'm 24 if that matters).

So I am open to suggestions, what do you think I should do?
 
Last edited:

IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
I don't really know how to hit on a women either, but I would really like to be able to. My psychologist did role playing where I pretended like I just met her at the cafeteria at school or at the park, etc. which is similar to yours, so I think what she is doing makes perfect sense. Please let us know how it goes.
 

andsorry

Well-known member
I think she is trying to help you otherwise it would be highly unethical for her to be hitting on you. Try it and wait to see what her critiques are. They might be helpful.
 

thegunners21

Well-known member
I don't know much flirting, but I do know one thing.

You have to have to have to smile. Absolutely necessary.
 

Section_31

Well-known member
Go along with it. But be careful, and don't let yourself believe she's hitting on you for real unless she touches your penis or something. Really.

^pics or it never happened!

jk jk, lol, sorry i had to.

Seriously though, is she attractive to you?. And if so, whats a discerning feature that you notice? like her smile, her eyes, ect. Maybe start there and compliment her on one of those assets?.
 

Lea

Banned
I first read "how to hit my psychologist" :). It doesn´t seem to me much OK she said you should pretend to hit on her. In my opinion it must be spontaneous, if it´s forced it looses its meaning completely. Unless someone is really good at acting and pretending.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
It sounds like some lateral thinking, embrace the fear, use your psychologist as practice for densensitization.

I'm like you Arthur Dent. Women + romantic interest = rejection and ridicule.
 

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
This is rather... unusual. But I guess it could be a good exercise.

I think you should convince yourself that she's actually hiting on you even if it isn't true, just think of an attractive and desirable woman that you would like to charm. How would impress her?, maybe dress well for the next appointment?, put on some nice cologne?, try to impress her with your wits?

Chances are it will just come out awkward as hell but I think that's the whole point. There no way to become confident and lose the fear of such situations other than experiencing them and this will be a consequences free enviroment, no public embarassment if you fail.
 

onehandclapping

Well-known member
just do what tony soprano did, it worked for him :bigsmile:

14c688f443fe8ffb40a83e2ad5bf.jpeg


seriously though. it sounds like this sort of thing could be difficult if you don't actually have an interest in her, but since you said you like her (you have already found some things that you have noticed which appeal to you) try working more with that. also I have noticed that if you joke around and make a person laugh or compliment them it can make them think you are flirting or hitting on them, so try that.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've read a good thing to do is to mirror the body language of the opposite sex. But if she starts curling her hair with her fingers, that might be too much.
 

ForWantOf

Well-known member
You have to have to have to smile. Absolutely necessary.

Don't forget to smile.

This is why I don't initiate conversation with women. I am physically incapable of smiling. A girl approached me in the gym once. She smiled the entire time we talked. I was polite(Befuddled, but polite. This was, maybe, my fourth interaction ever with a human of the female persuasion.), but I could tell by the look on her face that she was uncomfortable, or, at least, perplexed as to why I spoke with a facade that conveyed mild irritation or boredom.
 

Lamb

Well-known member
Keep it simple.

Does she want you to pretend she's not your psychologist? If not, go with what you know. You can talk about how since she's been helping you, you've come to see some qualities about her that have stood out, which is what you seek in a partner. You can mention them, crack a joke, say something silly and then get to the point. Ask her out for coffee or something. Don't think there needs to be much flirting going on if you're not comfortable with it. Just honesty. And be yourself. It's practice after all and intended to be a bit awkward. Let us know how it goes.
 

TableFor1

Well-known member
This is rather... unusual. But I guess it could be a good exercise.

How would impress her?, maybe dress well for the next appointment?, put on some nice cologne?, try to impress her with your wits?

Chances are it will just come out awkward as hell but I think that's the whole point. There no way to become confident and lose the fear of such situations other than experiencing them and this will be a consequences free enviroment, no public embarassment if you fail.

I got butterflies for Arthur_Dent after I read this. What a great suggestion, Steppen-Wolf! She is a professional and you will be in a safe environment. It will be great practice for you. Please do update us after your next appt. The best of luck to you!
 
Last edited:

A Many Splendored Thing

Well-known member
She is trying something new. It may help or may not but it just seems like an exercise.

So um... I can't really help on the 'hitting on' part. So, good luck?:thumbup:
---
Go along with it. But be careful, and don't let yourself believe she's hitting on you for real unless she touches your penis or something. Really.

My reaction to that.

*Waving arms around crazily and whispering "Oh god!":eek: hahaha
 
Top