Stressball
Well-known member
It just seems to be guys here, so I kinda feel like an odd one out. 
I'm 21 and had SP for a good 10 years. Before that I was kinda normal. Quiet, but at least I had friends and socialized. Then when I was 10 I started really hating myself. I was frustrated because I couldn't be skinny enough and kept getting fat, and my mum has always placed heavy emphasis on image and acting like a lady, even though I was a tomboy. She was always happiest when I lost weight and looked better, which just made me more depressed because I felt everything else about me was secondary. When I got to highschool I just withdrew and never went out with friends. I just stayed at home playing video games 8-10 hours a day.
It became my life, my escape from reality. Nothing else mattered. My social life just deteriorated to the point I'd only talk when someone talked to me, and I became super self-concious and kept obessesed over what people thought of me.When I finished school the social anxiety, depresssion and gaming addiction was so bad I eventually told my aunt about my problem and she took me to a psychologist and she recommended some anti-depressants. They have helped me alot and I eventually got a job and talked a bit to people...but the sense of loneliness is just too much most of the time. It's like you've missed out on so much socialization, you never know what to say to people and you feel left out when you see other people talking, laughing and bonding. The sadness is just so overwhelming you just withdraw further and don't want to talk to anyone. At work I kind of made a friend out of one of the co-workers, we had some things in common like loving art, anime etc, but I was so nervous and I hardly said much. But she left work eventually, and I just felt isolated again. It took a huge amount of effort to even speak and get to know her a bit. My old friends from highschool and primary school tried to get into contact with me again and I kept rejecting their offers to go out for years, then eventually I did and the anxiety almost killed me but its not as bad anymore. I still feel hopeless and socially stupid. I never know what to say, never know how to make a conversation with people. These days I'm still working but I'm trying to lose weight and get some confidence, I just feel that if I look good things will be a little easier, and people will treat me better. I'm still trying to get rid of this depression and emptiness I feel. SP just consumes you.
I'm 21 and had SP for a good 10 years. Before that I was kinda normal. Quiet, but at least I had friends and socialized. Then when I was 10 I started really hating myself. I was frustrated because I couldn't be skinny enough and kept getting fat, and my mum has always placed heavy emphasis on image and acting like a lady, even though I was a tomboy. She was always happiest when I lost weight and looked better, which just made me more depressed because I felt everything else about me was secondary. When I got to highschool I just withdrew and never went out with friends. I just stayed at home playing video games 8-10 hours a day.
It became my life, my escape from reality. Nothing else mattered. My social life just deteriorated to the point I'd only talk when someone talked to me, and I became super self-concious and kept obessesed over what people thought of me.When I finished school the social anxiety, depresssion and gaming addiction was so bad I eventually told my aunt about my problem and she took me to a psychologist and she recommended some anti-depressants. They have helped me alot and I eventually got a job and talked a bit to people...but the sense of loneliness is just too much most of the time. It's like you've missed out on so much socialization, you never know what to say to people and you feel left out when you see other people talking, laughing and bonding. The sadness is just so overwhelming you just withdraw further and don't want to talk to anyone. At work I kind of made a friend out of one of the co-workers, we had some things in common like loving art, anime etc, but I was so nervous and I hardly said much. But she left work eventually, and I just felt isolated again. It took a huge amount of effort to even speak and get to know her a bit. My old friends from highschool and primary school tried to get into contact with me again and I kept rejecting their offers to go out for years, then eventually I did and the anxiety almost killed me but its not as bad anymore. I still feel hopeless and socially stupid. I never know what to say, never know how to make a conversation with people. These days I'm still working but I'm trying to lose weight and get some confidence, I just feel that if I look good things will be a little easier, and people will treat me better. I'm still trying to get rid of this depression and emptiness I feel. SP just consumes you.
