How have others improved in confidence and self-esteem areas?

[SilentAndShy]

So, having evaluated and decided that maybe I don't have SA but more confidence/low self esteem issues, I wanted to ask for advice on the latter.

My councillor said the work I would be with another person on this matter would be about boosting my self esteem by focusing on my positives.

Has anyone done self-esteem/confidence boosting work?

Also, will be reading a book "Overcoming self esteem" by Michelle Fennell that was advised.

Thoughts, advice appreciated.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Have you and your councillor tried to find the source(s) of your low self-esteem, when and how it has been destroyed? It has help me a lot to see my mental problems from a more objective point of view.

 

[SilentAndShy]

Have you and your councillor tried to find the source(s) of your low self-esteem, when and how it has been destroyed? It has help me a lot to see my mental problems from a more objective point of view.

Yes, we've identified where it's coming from (no job, issues in family dynamics, isolation).

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Two things I can think of, that has help me at least, is to first accept your lacks (not as smart as you which you were, not as good looking, not as interesting... just accept that you have to do the best you can with what you've got), and to try to do things that makes you proud of yourself, like all these "I've always wanted to"... The idea is to get yourself to like the person you are. I guess it's nothing new, but that's what I can think of that's helping me the most...

 

[SilentAndShy]

Two things I can think of, that has help me at least, is to first accept your lacks (not as smart as you which you were, not as good looking, not as interesting... just accept that you have to do the best you can with what you've got), and to try to do things that makes you proud of yourself, like all these "I've always wanted to"... The idea is to get yourself to like the person you are. I guess it's nothing new, but that's what I can think of that's helping me the most...

Yeah, I'd imagine that's what the councillor might ask me to do regards to low self esteem etc although for me, having for years focused on my downsides, will be difficult to do.

 

[OceanMist]

I think a lot of confidence comes from success.

The hard part is achieving enough success to get that confidence.

 

[sahxox]

maybe I don't have SA but more confidence/low self esteem issues QUOTE]

I often wonder if this as well...
I think this causes feelings of anxiety in social situations for me... shutting down and panicking
I agree with a lot of the advice on here, it's worked in the past for me. But atm I'm stuck in a negative low confidence stage and trying to remember how to get out.

 

[SilentAndShy]

I think a lot of confidence comes from success.

The hard part is achieving enough success to get that confidence.

Valid point. I think there have been times when I've had success that resulted in confidence (graduating) but wasn't able to follow it on so my confidence then dipped again.

I guess for me, success would getting a job that I can stay in for a while. And then hopefully that success will breed confidence into other things like driving my car more and going to a gym, or running.

 

[MikeyC]

Have you and your councillor tried to find the source(s) of your low self-esteem, when and how it has been destroyed?

This is actually really important because it can help you pinpoint the reason why you're so lacking in confidence today. Then you can talk about it and you can try to understand why you are the way you are now.

I guess for me, success would getting a job that I can stay in for a while. And then hopefully that success will breed confidence into other things like driving my car more and going to a gym, or running.

Good luck with these, and I agree that getting a job is a great way to increase confidence, even if it's a low-to-average wage job, because you'll be earning something. From there you can upgrade, and with the money you'll get, you can afford a gym membership and go running, and hopefully, from there, your confidence in yourself will improve.