PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Not me personally, but there are some who believe that our universe is simply a world created inside a computer program. Strange thought eh..
how does your depression feel metaphorically
- Thread starter PugofCrydee
- Start date
BlueDays
1
Maybe the "being" who has created this computer program that we might all be living in, actually put the idea of the movie "The Matrix" into one our movie producer's minds, just to REALLY mess with us!
So we watched a movie (The Matrix) about people plugged into a false reality, while WE are all inside of a false reality ourselves..... >.>
I have a distinct memory of riding in a bus when I was 11 years old and having the creepy thought that I was just a character in a story. I have not had anything like that since though.
Maybe it is just our brains having a glitch when it plants those thoughts into our conscious. It is having trouble trying to make some sense of this world? :thinking:
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I think its our brains consciousness still evolving and us as a species coming to terms with it. Still, as we evolve there will always be "glitches" along the way.
Sometimes I feel like I'm inside a dream, and when I spoke to my psychiatrist at the time about it, he called it a well known state which is called "dissociation".
It makes sense to me but it can still feel like I'm watching a movie from inside my body with me being the lead character, going through the motions.
Sometimes I feel like I'm inside a dream, and when I spoke to my psychiatrist at the time about it, he called it a well known state which is called "dissociation".
It makes sense to me but it can still feel like I'm watching a movie from inside my body with me being the lead character, going through the motions.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Ah, yeah the matrix I should have thought of that as I typed it out :: The Truman Show is another good one, with some guy in the sun dictating exactly how every twist and turn of your life will go based on what would draw in the best ratings.
I've never seen this movie(although I should), but I'd think the closest example may be the movie Stranger than Fiction. If I understand the plot right the main character is not only the main character, but he knows it. I can remember the comical sequences of the booming voice of the author coming out the sky as the Will Farrell character is freaking out that his life is seemingly getting narrated.
That's sort of how I feel, without the voice of the narrator in my ear, just the aftermath of their words. My life would make more sense sometimes if this was the case. I know it's probably just my perspective and how I see things.
But honestly, I think it's a little more fun to live my life like it was a story sometimes. If it's not hurting anyone or myself, why not, eh? Gives me a reason to live a life worth retelling
: The Truman Show is another good one, with some guy in the sun dictating exactly how every twist and turn of your life will go based on what would draw in the best ratings. I've never seen this movie(although I should), but I'd think the closest example may be the movie Stranger than Fiction. If I understand the plot right the main character is not only the main character, but he knows it. I can remember the comical sequences of the booming voice of the author coming out the sky as the Will Farrell character is freaking out that his life is seemingly getting narrated.
That's sort of how I feel, without the voice of the narrator in my ear, just the aftermath of their words. My life would make more sense sometimes if this was the case. I know it's probably just my perspective and how I see things.
But honestly, I think it's a little more fun to live my life like it was a story sometimes. If it's not hurting anyone or myself, why not, eh? Gives me a reason to live a life worth retelling
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Absolutely Vj! Life IS a story for each one of us
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
It's like a storm. I wanted to just say the weather, but that's not quite right, it's too general. Depression is the weather advisories, with the worst of them being the gusty winds that blow the rain sideways with deafening thunder and lightening catching the trees on fire, or the blizzard the restrict visibility to a couple of inches and makes every step forward feel like an accomplishment due to its difficulty.
Storms do clear, and in the aftermath there are sometimes rainbows behind the clouds and picturesque winter landscapes of untouched snow. It's never all storms all the time, although at times my world certainly feels more habitable to that type of weather. Maybe it is.
There was a time when I would walk into the storm and try to sing in the rain. I would take it as a challenge and do my best to fight this uphill battle against the sleet and snow. And when the sun beams would streak through the clouds I could feel them. For a long time though, I've stayed inside and pretended like the conditions inside the living room were the same as the outside. It's not, of course, it's artificial and fake, and most importantly controlled. I've been afraid that the storm will sweep me up and I won't survive, and given my history with the storm it's not an unfounded fear.
Lately I have felt the storm start to creep into the house though. A burst of cold air flooding through a burst open window, or drops of water through a leaking ceiling. It might be the storm getting stronger, or a part of me letting the house fall to shambles trying to force me out into the storm. Looking at a rainbow through a window or a picture simply isn't the same. But you can't get struck by an unearthed stop sign if you don't walk through a hurricane either.
Storms do clear, and in the aftermath there are sometimes rainbows behind the clouds and picturesque winter landscapes of untouched snow. It's never all storms all the time, although at times my world certainly feels more habitable to that type of weather. Maybe it is.
There was a time when I would walk into the storm and try to sing in the rain. I would take it as a challenge and do my best to fight this uphill battle against the sleet and snow. And when the sun beams would streak through the clouds I could feel them. For a long time though, I've stayed inside and pretended like the conditions inside the living room were the same as the outside. It's not, of course, it's artificial and fake, and most importantly controlled. I've been afraid that the storm will sweep me up and I won't survive, and given my history with the storm it's not an unfounded fear.
Lately I have felt the storm start to creep into the house though. A burst of cold air flooding through a burst open window, or drops of water through a leaking ceiling. It might be the storm getting stronger, or a part of me letting the house fall to shambles trying to force me out into the storm. Looking at a rainbow through a window or a picture simply isn't the same. But you can't get struck by an unearthed stop sign if you don't walk through a hurricane either.
LoyalXenite
Well-known member
Like trying to run through quicksand with weights attached to every limb, all the while people are walking on paths around you telling you to just get out and walk properly
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Makes life feel like a real shit show.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I love.. the depth of your writings...
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
On a happy note looks like we can curse now 
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Haha hell yea!
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
like I'm out of sync on this earth.. everyone else is set in their time, but I'm just not on the same timeline.
LoyalXenite
Well-known member
Like everyone is coming first in a marathon and you've been glued to an anchor and are trying to drag yourself past the starting line. Also they are in the sunshine with flowers and butterflies and you're in rain and wind and cold.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I was watching Bojack Horseman today (spoilers ahead?) and this quote about depression pretty much summed it up for me.
"...you just flip over the nothing, and underneath there's more nothing. Then, you flip over that nothing and there's more nothing underneath that, so you just keep flipping over nothings all your life because you keep thinking under all that nothing there's gotta be SOMETHING, but all you find is nothing."
"...you just flip over the nothing, and underneath there's more nothing. Then, you flip over that nothing and there's more nothing underneath that, so you just keep flipping over nothings all your life because you keep thinking under all that nothing there's gotta be SOMETHING, but all you find is nothing."
Miserum
Well-known member
Phoenixx
Well-known member
But didn't you spoil yourself with that gif since it's from the newest season?I want to read your comment but there are spoilers... so I can't.
