How do you handle your Job being a Social Phobe

[KiaKaha]

I have almost graduated from a degree in computer science, and I will soon have to start looking for work. I am not looking forward to it. I am so nervous, and afraid that I am going to come across really badly to others, make mistakes and have everyone hate me because I am the "new guy". Not to mention that I actually feel like I have no idea what I am doing...

What worries me most, is that most of the advertisements always say something like "great communication skils" "A real people person" "Enthusuastic about dealing with people..." etc....argh...

I dont even know if its what I really want to do, because I dont think I really like computer people that much...but thats another story...

Anyway I can envision the whole thing now.... its going to be AWFUL.

TBH I am absolutely **** scared about this, but I need money FAST. Any advice?

 

[32belly]

I can relate to your feelings.

These are classic Social Anxiety symptoms, and the reason most of us are under-employed, or unemployed.

It's interesting that we often feel, as you describe, that we'll perform poorly, that we don't know what we're doing, people will not like us, etc...yet, look at how many of us here have undergraduate degrees or better.

Since I still have trouble with this lack of confidence and all the accompanying issues I'm afraid I don't have good advice accept to say that maybe for your first job out of college, don't put any pressure on yourself and find a job that you know is easy and confortable for you, no matter what it is...then maybe you can get comfortable with your abilities, being in the workplace, and perhaps have an employer who can after a bit of time vouch for your work ethic, integrity, etc.

I know its not much in the way of help, but its all I've got.

Good Luck!

 

[dottie]

haha i am still looking for the job ads:

"iso excellent employee who does not get along well with others. must not be talkative."

"iso worker who keeps to self and gets the job done"

"loner needed"

"quiet introvert needed for slow paced environment. minimal socializing optional. outgoing people need not apply."

 

[Splinter]

If someone doesn't get hired it's most likely based on the subjective view of the employer. Seriously, they are running businesses not finding the brightest, most talented out of the bunch. A lot will probably won't hire if they personally don't like a you or if they think you'll leave soon for another career opportunity.

Which is why I am seriously considering being an entrepreneur

 

[Richey]

good luck!

i've been applying fo six months and had two interviews so far both rejected me ..

i have work experience in crappy jobs aka (kitchen hand, factory hand) and a uni degree but i think that only the best are going to be recruited in the end ..

its a hard slog but for some people its easy ...

entry level jobs want people with work exerience which makes little sense but the employers/businesses only want the top candidates ..

perhaps go and sign up to a few recruitment or temp agencies and see how you go ..

i deluded myself into thinking that being positive and applying for alot of jobs would pay off, i was greatly mistaken but i think you can do it if you really believe in the content of your chosen field (computer science) ...all you need is some good knowledge and thats what companes are looking for so they know you're competant and they want you to be pleasant, that;s about it.

my problem is belief and self-esteem getting in the way of me going after a job with gusto and determination, that means calling companies and acting super-confident to obtain an interview ...this is what's holding me back and could ruin my future if i allow it to drag on ...i merely apply for job ads and email companies but calling them up and taking that extra step is something i struggle with.

 

[bigrob]

I can relate to your feelings.

These are classic Social Anxiety symptoms, and the reason most of us are under-employed, or unemployed.

That's me.

Most of my life has been wasted by being under-employed. I have been unemployed for 1 1/2 years. ::

 

[lurknomore]

i merely apply for job ads and email companies but calling them up and taking that extra step is something i struggle with.

This is me exactly. I have a masters degree, and have been applying for jobs for 2 years... but the thought of making phone calls terrifies me. So I'm currently working at 2 crappy minimum wage jobs and still not paying my bills very well. To be honest, I'm starting to think that I probably couldn't handle a job in my chosen career field. But my current jobs are in customer service, and I'm frankly getting burned out having to deal with constant people all day- I feel so stuck.

 

[chrisjurban]

My job was arranged for me because the boss was my mom's good friend and I knew her. Basically we ride on a truck all day and stop to refill vending machines. I don't talk to her almost at all, just stare out the window and think. She tells me what to get and I get it. I basically don't need to interact with other people at all. When I did have another job (this is only my second) I sucked at talking to the other people and none of them liked me and I felt horribly anxious going there.

 

[bigrob]

i merely apply for job ads and email companies but calling them up and taking that extra step is something i struggle with.

I feel you there.

I've been looking for a year and 1/2 and had two interviews.

One was dispatcher at the police department....I passed all the tests fine. I was interviewed by the chief and his second in command and never heard anything back even though I had connections of the type that took the chief to lunch.

When I found out that whomever was hired quit after a month I emailed him stating I was still interested , but never heard back.

It must be a good trick when I can creep out the chief of police!

The second interview I had was about 2 months ago. In the meantime I had studied covert hypnosis and used it during the interview. I was hired on the spot. I worked four days and was told not to come back. I was never told why. IMO I was kicking ass and everyone else there was slackers. I swear I have never had such bad training in my life (as a former trainer at a factory myself, I should know). They were supposed to be training me and couldn't even answer basic questions.

Now I'm back to applying and not getting calls. ::

 

[zav943]

Not gonna lie...it's tough with SA. In my job at least I have to solicit the help of my mentor every 2 hours on average, as well as 2 other experienced co-workers...and I work on several different projects that require me to call random people all over the company in different offices/sites, sometimes in other countries...

It's especially awkward when I have to face them. Just the other day, I went to some guy's office and absolutely choked (sweating and hyperventilating) while introducing myself...it was embarrassing. He visibly felt sorry for me, but that doesn't happen too often.

On the other hand, I don't bother to socialize with anyone at work...just the occasional small talk and that's it.
My neighbour will ask me every week if I want to go for coffee, to which I reluctantly accept every time. In 3 months, we haven't done it once...thankfully.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I hear ya. I graduated from university last spring. I studied math. I still haven't had the motivation to even apply for any jobs. My crappy retail job tires me out. I get depressed. I dread the hell of just having to send out resumes. I absolutely hate making phone calls. I have no connections. I have no idea how I'm going to go about this. Sorry I can't offer much advice, but anyway, you're not alone.::

 

[sevenroses]

I'm fairly okay at my job but I get anxiety when working with managers. I just feel more nervous.

 

[Predacon]

haha i am still looking for the job ads:

"iso excellent employee who does not get along well with others. must not be talkative."

"iso worker who keeps to self and gets the job done"

"loner needed"

"quiet introvert needed for slow paced environment. minimal socializing optional. outgoing people need not apply."

Tell me about it.

 

[Fighter86]

So today, I started work at this company as some kind of admin executive. The office's really hot, they have plenty of sunshine coming in these full length windows, so I was practically cooking under the sun, and the air con wasen't cooling enough. And then, I was taught like several things within the course of the next half hour, and had to remember them. So basically I spent about a couple of hours working on them, after which the in charge suddenly left so I was basically doing nothing much the rest of the day. In anyway, from what I understand from my other colleague, there is going to be alot of working with suppliers (chasing for goods etc.), communication with various people, one of the aspects I completely suck at at my previous job. Not sure what I'm going to do now, I have been offered this job for two weeks and held out till today to start work in the hopes of finding another job, but it never happened so I just went ahead with this job first. Somehow, I don't see myself performing, its not what I want to do (from what I hear my colleague detailing of the job), and yet, I just can't quit, because I was sitting home for 3 weeks without working and the routine of going back to work today was quite anxiety filled and scary. I should never have stopped working, but I had to leave my previous job before finding a suitable job because I couldn't handle the social aspect anymore, and basically for the past 3 weeks kind of sank into a low I haven't experienced even in the worst of times when I was at the job that I hold for a year. I practically reached a new low today at this job, really bad day, in terms of moods.

Well, not sure if this post answers your question, probably not since it doesn't show any skills of coping, probably sidetracking...

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Hi. Unfortunately I am unable to work at present because my Social Anxiety/Phobia is so bad, and I have become extremely stressed in myself. I hope my new meds will come to my rescue soon as I don't know what else I can do to overcome my problems.

 

[Tuco]

I do pretty well when Im talking to just ONE person at a time. I'm not as anxious. I get nervous in front of big crowds/with public speaking. I'd rather die than go up and make a speech.

I work as a teacher and I never thought I was going to be able to do it. I dreaded finishing my degree because I knew I had to get into teaching, the thought of being in front of a lot of people everyday for two hours each class terrified me and it still does, but it was a lot harder in the beginning (I've been doing this for almost two years now). But this job is still very stressful for me; sometimes I have to take sleeping pills the night before class.