How do you deal with things when you’re upset?

[Kat]

I know this is a bit of an odd question to ask people with sp because we find it hard to talk to people in general but there maybe one person you feel you can confide in if you were feeling bad if not just say you did and you’re officially peed off with them.

It’s been said it’s best to talk about your problems when you’re feeling sad but I can’t hack it when I am upset. It makes me feel worse to talk about what’s making me upset in that particular instant. I need my space and time to calm down. Part of the reason I don’t want to talk whilst I am upset is I can say some pretty nasty stuff and make decisions I wouldn’t normally make if I was feeling ok.

Is it selfish not to talk about your problems with them in the moment you are feeling upset about them?

Or should you tell them how you feel, despite the stupid and hurtful stuff you may say because of how you are feeling at the time?

 

[Emily_G]

I think if you are going to say something hurtful..you should wait. Go somewhere, calm down, collect yourself...then go back and talk when you are calmer.

 

[Kat]

I think if you are going to say something hurtful..you should wait. Go somewhere, calm down, collect yourself...then go back and talk when you are calmer.

I agree with that and if anyone thinks I am upset right now it's not true but I do differ in opinion with someone I know and love on how to deal with this.

When I am upset they can't handle me not talking to them, they feel if they give me space that I will think they don't care that I am hurting.

It is so not true though. I know that they care I am hurting, I just can't talk at that particular time because I feel like someone stabbed me in the heart with a knife.

I tend to get a little on the vengeful side when I am upset because they have hurt me my initial emotional response is wanting to get them back for it.

It is wrong to be that way I just need my space is all and If I don’t get it, it becomes very toxic.

 

[lunarla]

I think you approach it exactly the right way. Your post is a bit eye opening, because well, I do it the exact opposite and it turns out horribly. But that's the way I always do it. I, too, have that one person whom I feel comfortable talking to about all things, but when I'm upset I let him have it. He doesn't deserve it ever, but I just pour out any and every emotion I'm having right then and there. Not really the way to go about it because once I calm down a bit I realize how ridiculous I was being. And I also get those horrible pangs when I talk when I'm freshly upset about something. I get them repeatedly. It also doesn't help my character when the things I get upset over are usually very irrational. So then I'm just being ridiculous about something irrational and seem like a bit of a psycho. That being said, I think when you are upset like that, the other person probably knows that any hurtful things you might say aren't really meant if they know you well enough. But still, it's so not worth it. Keep handling it the way you do.

Now I have a question for you, haha. If you don't mind. How exactly do you allow yourself to step away from something when you're upset and deal with it on your own? Is that an easy thing for you to do?

 

[Kat]

I think you approach it exactly the right way. Your post is a bit eye opening, because well, I do it the exact opposite and it turns out horribly. But that's the way I always do it. I, too, have that one person whom I feel comfortable talking to about all things, but when I'm upset I let him have it. He doesn't deserve it ever, but I just pour out any and every emotion I'm having right then and there. Not really the way to go about it because once I calm down a bit I realize how ridiculous I was being. And I also get those horrible pangs when I talk when I'm freshly upset about something. I get them repeatedly. It also doesn't help my character when the things I get upset over are usually very irrational. So then I'm just being ridiculous about something irrational and seem like a bit of a psycho. That being said, I think when you are upset like that, the other person probably knows that any hurtful things you might say aren't really meant if they know you well enough. But still, it's so not worth it. Keep handling it the way you do.

Now I have a question for you, haha. If you don't mind. How exactly do you allow yourself to step away from something when you're upset and deal with it on your own? Is that an easy thing for you to do?

That’s a great question, and no I’m not completely innocent:: I have had my times where I’ve let loose. He actually says that he would prefer for me to cuss him out instead of not saying anything at all. I usually would try and go away and try and get my space but he tends to get in my face about it and that’s when she hulk as he calls it comes out. Our situation is a bit different at times because we are in a long distance relationship and if I am upset when we’re talking on the phone it becomes very tricky for me to deal with it. I have hung up on him a few times because I was upset.

He, is the only person I usually am forced to confront my problems with, anyone else I usually just suppress it because they really can’t tell if I upset or not like he can. Suppressing how you feel isn’t the right thing to do in the long run either. It is easy for me to suppress how I feel I f I am not comfortable with them. The only person I am comfortable with is my fiancé it’s his fault I can’t answer that question legitimately.::

 

[Nack]

I put it in the bottled filled with anger, regrets, and other untasteful feelings. I wonder what will happen?

 

[lunarla]

That’s a great question, and no I’m not completely innocent:: I have had my times where I’ve let loose. He actually says that he would prefer for me to cuss him out instead of not saying anything at all. I usually would try and go away and try and get my space but he tends to get in my face about it and that’s when she hulk as he calls it comes out. Our situation is a bit different at times because we are in a long distance relationship and if I am upset when we’re talking on the phone it becomes very tricky for me to deal with it. I have hung up on him a few times because I was upset.

He, is the only person I usually am forced to confront my problems with, anyone else I usually just suppress it because they really can’t tell if I upset or not like he can. Suppressing how you feel isn’t the right thing to do in the long run either. It is easy for me to suppress how I feel I f I am not comfortable with them. The only person I am comfortable with is my fiancé it’s his fault I can’t answer that question legitimately.::

Being upset it really hard to deal with, sheesh. I'm not one to just unload on any person that makes me upset either. And also for the most part other people can't make me upset like some irrational insecurity can about the only person I feel close to.

But hey, maybe I should try the backing off technique when I feel upset about something! Maybe he'll realize he actually prefers it when I ramble continually about something that doesn't really matter or call him a jerk for no apparent reason because I'm severely upset for something irrational :: But also, it really might workout better for me too. Once I get a chance to think it through myself I doubt I'd be as incoherent, ha.

 

[Kat]

Being upset it really hard to deal with, sheesh. I'm not one to just unload on any person that makes me upset either. And also for the most part other people can't make me upset like some irrational insecurity can about the only person I feel close to. .

Yep, the people we love the most can hurt us the most. I am very sensitive when it comes to what he says, words are very powerful for me. If I get hurt somehow physically (not by him or anyone in particular) it doesn’t seem to affect me no near as much as someone verbally hurting me.

But hey, maybe I should try the backing off technique when I feel upset about something! Maybe he'll realize he actually prefers it when I ramble continually about something that doesn't really matter or call him a jerk for no apparent reason because I'm severely upset for something irrational :: But also, it really might workout better for me too. Once I get a chance to think it through myself I doubt I'd be as incoherent, ha.

And, yes it’s worth a shot! It may take some practice but you could maybe make a scare crow version of him and keep it somewhere safe and when he makes you mad it’s time to do some venting on boyfriend replica scare crow.

 

[losttroy]

Le Scarecrow Boyfriend, hey? Well, I am officially jealous of Stuffed losttroy!!!

Seriously, I just wanted to say yeah, I am not used to Kitty clamming up when she's upset. In fact, I absolutely cannot stand for her to not talk to me! I feel like if there is a problem, we should work it out ASAP, instead of waiting. I don't necessarily mean we should explode on each other. I mean we should express how we feel in order to figure out how to be on the same side again.

I mean, why wait? To be hurt is painful, and to wait to heal it is the same as a person, sick in the hospital, who needs drugs and the nurse intentionally waits to administer them.:: That's not the way to treat the woman you love; to just walk off and act like you don't give a crap. I care more about her that anything! And I've caused this stupid pain, so I am just not going to be alright again til I can ease it from her.::

 

[206Raider]

I compress my feelings becuase when I let go it is bad. I always flip out and say some really hurtful **** and tell people I will hurt them if they keep talking. I mean back in high school a big 6'3" kid wanted to punch me but I just glared at him and my friends convinced HIM not to do anythings becuase they know how crazy I can get when I'm pissed. I know I am much better now than then, but I avoid getting mad at people becuase I'm afraid of blacking out and saying some really foul **** like I did when I was younger.

Luckily, I didn't get in trouble at my last job becuase the guy I worked with was an ******* and he pissed me off by saying I was a dumbass for not knowing something on the job that was never taught to me and he kept pushing the issue, so he said something and I said "duurr" (not to offend slow people, but he talked like an idiot) he said "what?" and I said "shut the **** up" and he just stared, I figured at that point I would be fired or something so I was about to just leave but he ended up getting in trouble for it somehow lol.


I too have a person I can talk to when I'm down but a lot of times when I'm down I go into a vicious cycle of listening to sad music and lay on my bed full of sorrow or smoke weed and ride around listening my music with the bass becuase it relaxes me. If I'm mad, I try my hardest to keep it under wraps around people but get irritated when someone asks "what's wrong".

 

[Annmarie Edward]

Usually, I talked to myself(in my mind), walking around my house, I found that going for a walk helps a lot when I was in a low mood.