How do you deal with rudeness?

[Sartana]

So usually I deal with rudeness pretty well. If someone is rude to me when I'm in town I'll tell them where to go (or just ignore them as when you're with friends it's easy to do). When people are rude to me at work I usually tell them to try talk to me again but this time with some manners. I know it's snarky, but it works and reminds the rude customers that I am human.

So today rolls around and someone started insulting me because they didn't realise what the price was of a service (she was trying to swindle me for lower). The difference this time is my manager was near me, so I couldn't tell them to try politeness like i usually would and take control of the conversation again. I had to stop for 2 seconds to think of what to say, because I'm always stunned when someone is rude to me for no reason. Anyway, 2 seconds was apparently too long, so she says to me "What's the matter? Can't you talk? Are you going to ignore me?" By this time I'm absolutely fuming in my head but again I can't do anything. So then I get quiet because whatever I'm going to say will be absolutely the most awful things. First commenting on looks is unfair, secondly don't tell me to talk. So then my manager steps in.

So basically I had two problems, first I couldn't retaliate and secondly she was doing this to me in front of someone I knew. When people moan at me for having messed up I'm fine with it, but if someone is rude to me for no reason it's so unexpected that I just go quiet because I have nothing to say but terrible things in response. My co-workers bluff through it just fine, but I don't want to be nice to people like that and I never will be. I just go completely mute, I literally can't talk.

It shouldn't bother me as much as it did, but it sent my mind back 2 years to when I had SA for the whole day. I'd stutter when talking to friends, do stupid things and feel nervous all day. It sucked. I wasn't mad anymore, but because I couldn't show my frustration it sent my awkwardness through the roof.

 

[Iluv]

When somebody is rude to me I don't put up with it. I could honestly care if I get fired because at least I will leave with my dignity. Usually when the time rolls around somebody is going to insult me I will stop for a moment take in what they said and decide if it's worth it. I will usually refuse to serve the person since I do work for customer service, I will look at them and say "You're not worth my time." And walk away. My best advice is don't put up with it because you can't go through life letting people bring you down and hurt you. You only get one life so why not stand up for yourself.

 

[Sartana]

I guess that's the thing, I always stick up for myself and it's never turned out badly. This is the first instance that I haven't because my manager was right next to me and I didn't want to give him hassle. So I had to bite my lip and walk away. Usually I can reply with a putdown because I wont get fired as it'll be the customer's word against mine, but this time I couldn't. But as a result of that I felt anxious all day.

I just don't know how people can bluff their way through rudeness with pleasantries.

 

[Iluv]

I just don't know how people can bluff their way through rudeness with pleasantries.

I agree, but its unfortunate how managers/owners do intimidate you to put up with this. I know that if I were to talk back in front of the owner of where I work she would fire me on the spot because she expects us to put up with abuse.

 

[Section_31]

im suprised yuor manager didnt step up for you.

I dont care what the case is, in a customer service position nobody is getting paid enough to take abuse. If the manager doesnt step in, I give it right back.

Yuo deserve so much better then that. Im sorry this happened to you.

 

[OceanMist]

Something I've learned at jobs is there might be times where if you want to keep your job, you have to be a coward and not fight back if someone is pushing your buttons. That may sound weird, but sometimes that's the case. This economy is incredibly unforgiving.

There have been times where customers have talked trash on me in front of my face and could have went off on them but you gotta bite your tongue if you want to keep your job.

Of course, this is situational. If you feel like you've been totally disrespected and it's so bad that you are willing to go homeless for standing up for yourself......then cuss that jerk out.

Charley Waite: Well you may not know this, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying. - Open Range

 

[MikeyC]

Something I've learned at jobs is there might be times where if you want to keep your job, you have to be a coward and not fight back if someone is pushing your buttons. That may sound weird, but sometimes that's the case. This economy is incredibly unforgiving.

You said it. I've had my boss talk rudely to me and there have been many times I've wanted to tell her where to go in all sorts of expletive ways, but if I want to keep my job I have to bite my lip. This does mean I'll be in a foul mood for the rest of the day, though.

 

[Aletheia]

This does mean I'll be in a foul mood for the rest of the day, though.

: (

I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

(I wonder how much this sort of stress lowers life expectancy? Bet it doesn't do much for job performance either.)

 

[MrJones]

Communicate. If someone is behaving in a way you find inappropiate try to talk to that someone and see what can be done about it. Maybe that person didn't even notice he was being rude (though I may be wrong here). Just try to talk things and see what happens.

 

[MikeyC]

: (

I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

(I wonder how much this sort of stress lowers life expectancy? Bet it doesn't do much for job performance either.)

Thanks, but I'm certainly not alone with that. I can imagine it does lower life expectancy to some degree but, again, I wouldn't be the only one.