NickyNacker
Well-known member
I'm 20 years old and have never had a job or a license or even really done anything since I dropped out in 10th grade back in 2008. I haven't because of my anxiety. Every time I go out in public to do things my physical symptoms of anxiety are so overwhelming that I have to come back home. At first I feel fine but gradually the longer I'm out the worse it gets. I'm not even really consciously thinking anxious or negative thoughts really, the physical symptoms seem to just have a mind of their own and come over me for no reason. I get sweaty, shaky, my eyes feel like they're swollen and it's hard to focus them, I get really nervous.
It's extremely uncomfortable to the point where, like I said, I have to go back home. And once I get home, it's 100 pounds off my shoulders and I'm back to normal in my room away from everything. But it feels like I have 0 control over it and I don't see how I'll ever move out, be independent, get a job, drive myself around. How could I ever do all that with these horrible symptoms that keep me isolated at home??
I've done therapy, I've read books, I feel like I've studied anxiety and what I'm going through as much as I can for the past 3 years and none of it has made the TINIEST difference. So what is there left to do?? I get so depressed because of it that it's unbearable. I came home from the store earlier today and just broke down crying when I got home because it was so hard and I had to leave early. I feel paralyzed and hopeless. I have suicidal thoughts but I would never be able to do it I don't think because I don't want to leave my family and I'm terrified of death. So I just feel stuck. I don't know what to do and I feel like I've completely lost all hope. It just gets worse and worse. I'm supposed to be getting medication this month and if that doesn't help I really don't know what I will do.....
I'm sure I'm not the only one out there feeling this way, but I don't know how other people deal with this.
It's extremely uncomfortable to the point where, like I said, I have to go back home. And once I get home, it's 100 pounds off my shoulders and I'm back to normal in my room away from everything. But it feels like I have 0 control over it and I don't see how I'll ever move out, be independent, get a job, drive myself around. How could I ever do all that with these horrible symptoms that keep me isolated at home??
I've done therapy, I've read books, I feel like I've studied anxiety and what I'm going through as much as I can for the past 3 years and none of it has made the TINIEST difference. So what is there left to do?? I get so depressed because of it that it's unbearable. I came home from the store earlier today and just broke down crying when I got home because it was so hard and I had to leave early. I feel paralyzed and hopeless. I have suicidal thoughts but I would never be able to do it I don't think because I don't want to leave my family and I'm terrified of death. So I just feel stuck. I don't know what to do and I feel like I've completely lost all hope. It just gets worse and worse. I'm supposed to be getting medication this month and if that doesn't help I really don't know what I will do.....
I'm sure I'm not the only one out there feeling this way, but I don't know how other people deal with this.
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