How alienated have you felt?

[yesnomaybe]

Life is so unfair, but then again no one ever promised otherwise.

It's a very long story, but in a nutshell this is what happened. Two people whom I'd trusted learned that I was struggling through a mental illness. They didn't know what kind of mental illness, just a mental illness. (It was pure-O.) And even though I kept to myself as I worked through my problem and remained as nice as I had ever been, I was now treated like a dangerous monster by them -- an outcast -- and I was completely helpless to convince them otherwise...that I was just a harmless human being working through a problem.

I had never in my life experienced such alienation and frustration. The experience really opened my eyes. How many countless others must go through this every day, I have to wonder. Does my story ring a bell?

PS: Life may not be fair, but there's definitely a whole lot of kind, wonderful people out there who make up for it.

 

[thor01]

Yeah I feel like that too, although I've never told anyone I have this problem, I still feel alienated. No life isn't fair, thanks to some people. And yes there are some great people out there, I just wish I knew some, in real life.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

as alienated as ET. I'm sorry you have to go through that. I made the mistake of telling my parents and there were horrible consequences. Unfortunately you cant tell anyone about your disorder no matter what, seems like. its awful.

 

[Blue Teardrops]

I always feel alienated. Such an awful feeling.

 

[getbornagain]

I call it the mental prison. Only fellow prisoners know what it's like to be locked up. **** everybody else.... don't waste your time pouring out to 'friends'. The best people to talk about your mental issues with are fellow prisoners.

 

[Septor]

Yea I have felt very alienated most of my life.I remember about around the time Columbine High School shooting.Some people started to treat me like I was going on a killing spree because it's common knowledge that if you're a young white male that has no friend and is kind of shy,then you must be dangous bahh.You cant have one without the other.People can be some foolish sometime.

That has always made feel so frustrated,I wasn't doing anything and no one really cared to get to know me,to know if that was true or not.

 

[Dudley]

I've told three people because I just couldn't hold it in any longer and it was driving me insane. The first person was my ex-girlfriend (girlfriend at the time). I was so ashamed of myself for not being able to tell her before. It seemed like she was accepting at the time, suggesting what I should do for help and everything. After a while it seemed like she was sick of hearing about it though, so I stopped talking about it.

The next person was one of my best friends and I just kind of blurted it out to him. He seemed almost fascinated by it, but we haven't talked about it since.

The third person was another good friend that I told over the internet (big mistake). He didn't believe me at first and thought I was making it up. After a lot of explaining and telling him how awful this makes me feel, he seemed to come around and suggested I get into therapy. He swore he would never tell anyone, but there's just something that tells me he's told other people.

It's kind of weird. I distrust people and usually think of them "guilty until proven innocent" but I'm still holding out hope that I can tell someone about this and they will say "What can I do to help?"

 

[PennyLane]

I recently shared some quite private thoughts about myself with a friend...i should have realised this was too much responsibility for her and so she shared with another friend of ours. This second girl got all concerned about me and kept trying to get hold of me...failing that (and thinking the worst), she pretty much called everyone we jointly knew!

I understand she was worried and trying to help, but now i just feel open and vulnerable to everyone. She said she didnt give details to them...but like i want everyone to think i need checking up on. Now everyone thinks im this complete wreck. I have learnt my lesson and will not be sharing my feelings with anyone again. Its like instead of just worrying about being ok yourself...u then have to worry about reassuring them too!

 

[Dudley]

It's definitely a fine line. You want to tell people because you want help or you feel like you're going to lose your mind if you keep it to yourself any longer. But then you have to consider how other people are going to react.

 

[PennyLane]

I tell people...then i really regret it and feel very vulnerable and wish I could take it back.

My mum tries to be understanding, but i think it hurts her and she finds it depressing to hear about. So i tell her less...she seems to think if im not talking about it...it doesnt exist

 

[Dudley]

I tell people...then i really regret it and feel very vulnerable and wish I could take it back.

My mum tries to be understanding, but i think it hurts her and she finds it depressing to hear about. So i tell her less...she seems to think if im not talking about it...it doesnt exist

Exactly. It's like you feel guilty for burdening the people you care about. I just try to remember that I didn't ask to have these insane thoughts and that it isn't my fault.

 

[yesnomaybe]

As for me, I've told a couple of my siblings and wife in very generic, casual terms, but they have absolutely no clue just how severe it is for me. They're very wonderful and supportive and give caring advice, but as we're talking about it I'm kind of laughing to myself, secretly thinking: you have no idea...if you only knew.

I'm a very open and honest person by nature. I now realize that it's just not practical to reveal what I'm going through with others.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I've been feeling alienated at work lately. No one knows about my SA except for my boss and he's very understanding. I'm trying to work it out in my head because I know enough to understand that this isn't something worth worrying about. I've always felt somewhat alienated by women in any workplace I've been.

It is no different in this workplace. There is one woman who avoids me when she sees me. A few of them give me the stone-face and one in particular seems to make it a point to ignore me. All in all, the prettiest and youngest woman is the only one who pays me attention. One woman in particular straight up gave me a dirty look another made an obvious catty comment about my hair. I try not to pay attention to any of the women myself. I really don't care to be around them and I don't feel comfortable around them. Maybe they can sense my distrust and discomfort or something. I'm really not trying to get to know them so I shouldn't be worried if they ignore me. A few women say hello and smile but I don't try to get to know them either. The men are always nice and respectful to me and I don't feel uncomfortable around them so at least they do not alienate me.

I'm just trying to get over this crap. I don't care about these women anymore than I care about them. I'm glad that I'm not working in a an all female enviornment. lol

 

[LadyWench]

In a way, yeah. I live with my mom and boyfriend. Even though I know they both love and care about me, they still get so frustrated with my problems. I have a few mental illnesses, but I think my worst one right now is my OCD and hypochondria.

Anytime I fear having some sort of health-related problem and I talk to them about it, they get extremely annoyed and with an attitude say "YOU'RE FINE! STOP WORRYING!" As if that's supposed to help and be encouraging. I feel like they're just altogether tired of dealing with me.

My sister can be a total whore when it comes to this, as well. She doesn't even try to understand it. She doesn't ever want to talk to me about it. Anytime I have a panic attack around her, she turns into mega-bitch and is so unhelpful. She always ends up making me feel worse.

I'm so glad I have a family I can depend on. :|

 

[ocdkindofguy]

People with pure-o must be great! They are deffinitly smarter then the avrege. I know it for sure because I have\used to have pure-o too... And I tought a lot! I was always very concentrated btw. It's tough as hell, but at least it means that you are brilliant!! People must be crazy for thinking a pure-o is even remotley insane.... Of course the problems may seem stupid, but mines were always rooted in logic hehe. I think thats with all pure-o's too. I'd deffinitly consider a pure-o person interresting as heck!!

 

[Kinetik]

I don't feel alienated. I live alone and I really enjoy my own time, space and privacy. In no way do I crave social relationships (other than a partner, to satisfy my natural male instincts). My whole issue is trying to deal with the irrational fears and anxieties I experience when doing everyday things, like using the phone, going into stores, dealing with strangers and third parties. As for wanting friends and such though, forget about it.

 

[zlench]

At the moment I don't feel alienated but a couple of years it was really bad where I just had no social contact at all and didn't go out at all.