Hi, it's been a while

[recluse]

Hi everyone, it's been a while since i posted on this site since i thought i no longer needed it. Anyway here i am and i just want to vent how i am feeling really.

There's a lot of things bothering me and they have been building up inside me for so long;

I will be 30 in April and when i think of being 30 it scares the crap out of me. You expect your 20's to last forever but hitting the 3 0 is kind of scary for me. The feeling i'm getting is that i have missed out on life and the speed the past decade has gone by is scary. The worst thing is that i feel that the next decade is not going to be any different and then i'll be a 40 year old virgin without ever having been loved. I really thought a woman i have known for 3 years would be interested in me as more than a friend, but she says that she does not want a boyfriend. I can't help obsessing that the real reason is that i am ugly, boring, have no prospects etc, basically unappealing to women.

I have no friends and no social life (never have) other than going to a gun club and karate class. My life consists of working, eating, sleeping, working out... but not having fun. Everything is a chore. No fun stuff like going to the cinema, concerts, days out, nights out....Nothing, just an endless tedious life. I'm so sick of hearing people talk about the ''great'' night out/party they went to, and the great friends they have, it's like a huge slap in face.

Thanks for reading

 

[miss_amy]

Hello Recluse,

I can relate totally.

Just wanted to say its nice to see a familiar face back here. I've missed you.

 

[DespairSoul]

Welcome back,

I'm 26 and i feel like 80, like my live is just passing by and i can't stop him coz he is driving to fast and i'm too anxious and slow catch him.

 

[mmmm]

It's so good to see you my friend.

 

[Falkor]

Hi Recluse,

I recognized u, i know u posted here before a time ago
welcome back, and i want to say that i don't think ur ugly
I don't think there is anything wrong with your avatar at all, just sayin '
So U know it's probably just all in your head?
Although I can shake your hand cuz I feel aware of being ugly too.
About the concerts,nightsout,having fun and such.
I feel the same, my life should have been more enjoyable
But it's hard to get out there, cuz it's a hard thing to do.

Anyways, i hope u have a good time back on SPW

Edit: btw when is your Bday? mine is 14th of April.

 

[recluse]

Hi everyone i appreciate the welcome I have been lurking sometimes though.

My b day is on the 6th of April Saskia.

 

[coyote]

welcome back, recluse

i barely even remember my 30's

having too much fun enjoying my 40's

things don't always get worse as you get older

sometimes they get better!

 

[Phoenixx]

Welcome back I don't know you too well, but I've seen a few of your posts around here. Sorry to hear about the letdown with your friend. But I can tell you, there's no way it was because she thought you were ugly. From what I can tell of your avatar, you're pretty good looking.

I can definitely relate to hearing people talk about great nights out and having it be like a slap in the face. I have friends that hang out with each other, they go to the mall, go to parties, etc. Yet, I sit home alone because I can't bring myself to do any of those things, even with friends. It really does suck and I wish I could just work up the courage to just do those things.

Also, a random note: Yay for April birthdays! Mine's on the 30th.

 

[recluse]

Thanks coyote. I sure hope it does get better though i hate to say i am very pessimsitic.

 

[Tuco]

I know exactly how you feel, I just turned 29 and I also feel like I have missed out on life. You are a lot like me, I haven't had a single friend since I left high school, which was more than a decade ago and of course I've never had a girlfriend in my life. I only go out to go to work and recently I joined a gym. At least I have a job; I hate it but I would feel a lot worse if I didn't have it.
I wish you the best, I hope things change for you, and you improve your confidence and self esteem, I am working on that as well.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I can relate to the feeling. It seems like life is just passing you buy and you are getting older and older without accomplishing anything.

But there is still SOOO much life ahead of you. There's still so much to explore and do.

It seems lie things are going to fast, but it's never too late to start living life.

I know that you want love now and you want happiness now, but my uncle just got married and he couldn't be happier. He is 53 or so. It happens a little later in life for some people, but not all is hopeless.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Hey man I just turned 30 in November and look at how much time has passed and feel like I am behind with career and social life. I am glad to hear that you do go outside the house to go to gym and karate.

 

[recluse]

Thanks a lot for the kind words everyone.