Helpful Depressed

[Sial Axetder]

Time. They say it heals all. With brilliant laughter, it takes time for time to heal. With spite we are forced to accepte this as helpful advice. Time and time again, don't worry so much it takes time. For the depressed we don't have luxry of time. In time we only further manage to drive ourselves deeper in self hate and pity. In this situation time does not heal but harm. We don't have time as an ally. Time to us depressed is an enemy.

We require other help. We need others to help. But we won't seek it. No we won't. We feel we are a plight on society and friends and family. Why bother them? So we hide in our rooms alone and queit. Tears fill our eyes as there is no beauty anymore. We blare music to drown our thoughts. Frantically we are clawing our way out of sucide pits.If no music to drown in then alcohol and other substances.

With a depressed one do not help with generic advice. We will gut you and catch you red handed. We're not dumb. In fact our intellectualism increases within a depressed state. We're not dumb. Tell us straight even if you may think it will harm us and do worse. It is far worse finding out you're a generic person who doesn't care.

The benefits? If you manage to help us we will look to you as real. You will never find another as loyal as us. You will have made a life long friend and ally.

All we want is someone to rescue us. Take us away from our self hate and pity.

We want to feel loved.

 

[Nathália]

Aww, I like your statements and it's true, not many people want cliche advice in the time of depression, they want to be cared about. Very nice writing, Sial Axetder, I liked it.

 

[Srijita52]

I agree with Beleza Sial Axetder. Very good post.

 

[Rawz]

Very nice, Sial Axetder. I like it.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I agree, great writing. Also I agree it's so important to find someone to love us even when we are in our darkest place without cookie cutter advice. That has been what made me break though the muck and mire and come out of it. I hope you find someone to help you though. You deserve it. You seem like you have been in a really bad place for too long *hugs*

 

[Vampayah88]

This post is so beautifully written. It made me think.... Thanks Sial Axetder

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

We require other help. We need others to help. But we won't seek it. No we won't. We feel we are a plight on society and friends and family. Why bother them? So we hide in our rooms alone and queit.

This is so me.... Perhaps what I do want from others is to be loved and accepted. It could be as simple as that. Excellent post!

 

[Hoppy]

All we want is someone to rescue us. Take us away from our self hate and pity.

We want to feel loved.

I disagree with that. Start fighting.

Waiting for someone to rescue you is defeatist and pathetic.

What are you doing to recue yourself?

What are you doing to make yourself loved?

How many other people that have put out careful feelers have you ignored because you are waiting for you knight on a white horse?

How many times have you ignored people who have got the same problems as you just because you only feel your own agony?

How many times have you fought against the black dog and pushed yourself forward?

When was the last time you took hold of your dreams and pushed against the bitterness, the anger, the tiredness to make it all happen?

Why wait for someone to rescue you?

Why not rescue yourself?

(Edit: I think someone is going to be angry at me again)

 

[KitKat2]

^^^I agree with you. We must not wallow in self pity....we were put on this earth to overcome our challenges and learn from our mistakes.

 

[O'Killian]

Hoppy's right - just waiting on something (or someone) is a losing game. But I don't think Sial's point was ever that one should wait - it was merely an assertion that, if someone can genuinely help the depressed, the depressed will feel overwhelmingly grateful.

But to be helped, one has to want to be helped - and a person can reflexively beat away any offers of help for any number of reasons (I'm not worth it! I'm too damn proud! I don't want to be coddled!). I know that. I do it. It's not as cut and dried as the original post implies, but I think most of us are aware of that.

Tally may call it rambling, but I think that post is a pretty good illustration of what I'm thinking - that drive to overcome it on your own is a crucial element, but not always enough. Sometimes you need external help - though I understand it can be difficult to keep one's head above the metaphorical water long enough to call for it.

I really don't have the personal experience to feel that confident about it, or to offer any advice I feel is useful, so I guess that's that.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Thanks for the post Sial.

It would be awesome to be able to reach out to people who are genuine and loving.

For me I feel if there is noody to help me or want to be around me then why even try to get out of my hole. If I am going to be alone forver then I might as well just be my deressed anxious self.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I disagree with that. Start fighting.

Waiting for someone to rescue you is defeatist and pathetic.

What are you doing to recue yourself?

What are you doing to make yourself loved?

How many other people that have put out careful feelers have you ignored because you are waiting for you knight on a white horse?

How many times have you ignored people who have got the same problems as you just because you only feel your own agony?

How many times have you fought against the black dog and pushed yourself forward?

When was the last time you took hold of your dreams and pushed against the bitterness, the anger, the tiredness to make it all happen?

Why wait for someone to rescue you?

Why not rescue yourself?

(Edit: I think someone is going to be angry at me again)

You may disagree. It is what I felt and feel.

Answer to your questions; I have fought many many many times. I don't intend to wait. I mull through with a mask of happiness because that's what people want.

Your intent, it seems, is to provoke motivation. Nice try, appreciate it, but I didn't get where I am by simplicity. It's complicated.

 

[Hoppy]

I know it is complicated. And on a good day it is scary, and on a bad day terrifying.

But a general question, not just for Sial: how many years do you plan on waiting?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Why not rescue yourself?

But to be helped, one has to want to be helped - and a person can reflexively beat away any offers of help for any number of reasons (I'm not worth it! I'm too damn proud! I don't want to be coddled!).

Sometimes you need external help - though I understand it can be difficult to keep one's head above the metaphorical water long enough to call for it.

I have known for a long time that I have to "rescue" myself. No one is going to do it for me...they can't. It has to be me. But now I also see that I can't do it alone. Asking for help is so HARD though. For me it is like I don't want to bother people, and I also fear that they can use my weaknesses against me somehow if I let my guard down. I think the happy medium here for me would be to see a therapist and go from there. Eventually I will get the courage to do so..."everything is the hardest part!"