He called me by her name

[Bittersweet]

When we were just friends, he told me she was the perfect girl for him. Now that we're together, he swears that he sees her like a sister. She's one of his closest friends.

He's called us by each other's name on more than one occasion. I asked if it's because he wishes we were in switched places; she the girlfriend, and I merely the good friend. He insisted this wasn't the case, and that it's because we're both his favorite people.

Then, tonight, he slipped and called her 'honey'. That's what he usually calls me. I don't know what to make of it, but I don't think he's being honest about his feelings for her, or for me.

 

[dottie]

this would not settle well with me. :l punt.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

Would you say that you and her looked simular?

Its a very sticky situation to be in, how did you two come to the decision to have a relationship? because that would affect how he had to adapt.

if your worried that your becoming the third wheel in your own relationship, talk to him aboout it. how badly does he flirt with her? if it is bad, you just have to think "Dont Be In A Relationship If You're Going To Act Single." Im sure he would understand.

 

[Mickery]

Maybe he finds you both attractive, but wants to be with you and not her? It's certainly uncomfortable, but occasionally finding more than one person attractive is natural and doesn't necessarily mean anything.

 

[Vampayah88]

This is just my opinion but I think sooner or later youre going to get hurt. Especially because shes a close friend of his and he clearly still has feelings for her.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

This is just my opinion but I think sooner or later youre going to get hurt. Especially because shes a close friend of his and he clearly still has feelings for her.

^ I agree with this.

 

[Newtype]

I think you're gonna get hurt soon. That or he's gonna ask you for a threesome. Sorry.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

So... she was the prefect girl for him and now she is a 'close friend' and you are the perfect girl instead of the close friend?
I think he needs to have a sit down and think about what he actually wants because going on like this could cause alot of trouble in the future.

Does he actually call you by eachother's names-- or by a 'pet name' that he's used for both of you?

In my opinion, I'd find this behavior kind of creepy... haha
but that's just me.
I would probably get out of there if I were you-- but then again; that is just me.
Being friends is fine but if he gets feelings for every girl he's friends with, it would cause alot of problems for everyone at some point later on down the line.

 

[we_r_eternal]

iv done that on accident to my ex-fiance- in bed when we were in high school i accidently called the name of another girl i wanted to plow- but it's natural for a guy, even when he's in love with a girl, to want to nail every attractive girl he sees- it's just a matter of whether he actually does it or not- but were all thinking it, i can assure you of that! doesn't neccessarily mean your relationship is in trouble, but at the same time ive never had a gf who would allow me to have a girl as a best friend, or would even trust me alone with a "friend" thats a girl!lol! smart of them prolly!

 

[Bittersweet]

Does he actually call you by eachother's names-- or by a 'pet name' that he's used for both of you?

Yes. Let's say I'm Nicky and she's Stacey.

We'll be in the same room and he'll say something like " Stacey and I are going to the movies today, does anyone else want to join us? err Nicky. "

or he'll be speaking to me and say something like:

" Are Nicky and Wayne going to join us? I mean, Stacey and Wayne."

The other night he slipped and called her ' honey'. When I asked him about it, he said it's cultural and he always calls female friends he's close with honey. But, I've never heard him call any other female by honey or any other pet name. I've only heard him call me honey since we started dating. Then he slips and calls her honey? Something isn't right.

Other than that he's a caring, supportive boyfriend, but something doesn't feel right. I hesitate to break things off because I've never had this type of relationship. I don't want to go back to being alone with nothing to do.

 

[pebblesdundee]

Yes. Let's say I'm Nicky and she's Stacey.

We'll be in the same room and he'll say something like " Stacey and I are going to the movies today, does anyone else want to join us? err Nicky. "

or he'll be speaking to me and say something like:

" Are Nicky and Wayne going to join us? I mean, Stacey and Wayne."

The other night he slipped and called her ' honey'. When I asked him about it, he said it's cultural and he always calls female friends he's close with honey.

Other than that he's a caring, supportive boyfriend, but something doesn't feel right. I hesitate to break things off because I've never had this type of relationship. I don't want to go back to being alone with nothing to do.

I think you just summed up the relationship. If you're looking at the cons of being single rather than the pros of being with him, in my opinion it's time to jump ship.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I've only heard him call me honey since we started dating. Then he slips and calls her honey? Something isn't right.

Other than that he's a caring, supportive boyfriend, but something doesn't feel right. I hesitate to break things off because I've never had this type of relationship. I don't want to go back to being alone with nothing to do.

Manipulators often seem/are supportive and caring but it doesn't mean they will be this way forever... and if the things he does make you uncomfortable or suspicious and just says 'oh, it's in your head', 'I won't do it again' without talking to you about it, it seems to me like he's just trying to deny his own feelings by reacting without thinking--

I've had plenty of female friends and some male friends who acted this same way and if the relationship continued; it just caused an even bigger mess when it ended months down the road after someone was caught cheating or their lies had been found out.

If you feel that it's wrong-- then for the sake of your future happiness; be the one in control and do what you think you need to do.
Don't be blind for the sake of 'happiness now' if you have a feeling that things aren't quite right.
That's always the first sign-- your intuition. Don't ignore it.

 

[Bittersweet]

You've all confirmed what I've feared. Thanks for the advice, guys.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Don't be hard on yourself, okay?
Just go with your gut and you'll be happier for it.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

You've all confirmed what I've feared. Thanks for the advice, guys.

Im a strong believer in fate, what ever you decide it will be the RIGHT decision, you can't over think it, or you will get stuck in limbo. go with your gut feeling, follow your heart (OR your mind. whatever you use best)