have you ever lied to get out of going to a social event?

[MagicPotion]

+1

From the age of about 25 onward when my SA got bad I just lied through my teeth constantly. Thankfully I went out just about enough to keep my mates but I only went to their houses, almost never to social stuff unless I could get horribly drunk (and I usually made an ass of myself as a result).

Now I'm stuck in a new town, my SA is way better but my friends are 100s of miles away. I lost contact with the few new friends I'd made when I lost my job last week ::

Now I'm getting my well-earned comeuppance, I miss my friends like hell and my only conversations I ever have are by telephone or internet now.

My ex knew about my social problems and said "you can refuse to do anything I ask you too" but I never did.

I forced myself to go to all the family stuff. Her family HATED me and it was a big reason we split. If I'd actually bailed on a lot of it I might have not annoyed her family so much by being shy and tongue-tied around them, which obviously = I'm a snob and I hate them.

Agree OP that you need to let the BF know if you can and be honest about what you can and can't do, it's just easier in the long run. Making yourself go to stuff when you're not comfortable isn't fair on you, and maybe it's best to try and make him understand somehow.

 

[kilojoule]

Just about once or twice a week. Eventually people stop asking I'm lucky I have a few friends that are persistent or who'll come to me instead but for the most part I have lost touch with the majority of people I used to know.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

Sorry to start with a quote, but... " The best type of friends to have in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs."
The reason for that quote is the fact that friends inite you out to be with you, and if you say no continuously they will see that you don't want to spe d time with them, on the other hand if they stop inviting you it shows that they no longer want to spend time with you.

I found this post right after I lied to going out later today. coincidence? Or proof of a fate attraction to this site?

 

[SLikeSascha]

Occasionally ... I feel comfortable when I'm around friends but if I know that a lot of "strangers" will be attending, I usually make up something so I don't have to go.

 

[kilojoule]

I used to know a few people that would turn up unannounced! I used to feel anxious all the time not knowing what to expect! I always thought that was rude.

You should meet my best friend, she will in fact arrive completely unannounced and may stay anything from 10 mins to 2-3days bahaha. She will turn the house upside down and create total chaos. It is good for me to have her probably because i can in no way control her. But I have known her my whole life. Our mothers were best friends throughout their lives and we learned we had to get along when we were babies because there was no way of avoiding each other

 

[Lucy:)]

I used to lie all the time, and the lies used to be so bad I think it was obvious to everyone that I was lying! When I get asked to a social event now my first instinct is still to make some sort of excuse, however I try and make more of an effort to go as I think it will benefit my SA in the long term.

 

[pakistan]

Ans. LOL, all the time. sometimes i wonder why i even end up going there.

 

[kilojoule]

@Lucy

"I'm sorry I'm late there was a bird that got into the carpark and I had to go find the guy that does the..eh...maintenance yea maintenance I had to find someone from maintenance to tell them about the bird but then I couldn't find anyone and the bird was flapping all over the place and I was really worried so I went looking for somebody again and then I found the guy but he said oh wait here and make sure it doesn't go missing (haha why I said that?!?!?) and Ill go call the animal ....eh animal people who look after this sort of thing. Then he couldn't get signal on his phone so he had to up a few levels to the ground floor and I waited but he was a while. Anyway I'm here now"


One of my favorites from when I was working about 7 years ago when I was real bad and it took me 3 hours to get to work one day I was going to the door and coming back and going to front door and coming back all morning! Anyway eventually when I got to work my boss was there which was highly unusual annual suprise visit that completely caught me off guard. And boss was pissed and came out with "Eh J where were you?" And I answered above


and Boss smiled through the whole story and looked pissed at the same time which I think must be a talent and rest of conversation went like this:

Boss: J that didn't happen
me: yea it happens a lot sometimes they nest in the things above the car under the roof em whats it called eh you know .the things (I then start doing some sort of charade thing with my hands trying to describe structure)..BEAMS! the beams yea they like to nest on the beams
Boss: I've never heard of this happening...anywhere
me: Yea happens all the time, I saw it last week on my way in but somebody else had already called the animal people
Boss: And why didn't you call us to say youd be late?
me: oh yea I had no signal in the carpark
Boss: And who are the animal people you called?
me: Youd need to ask the maintenance guy I dunno
Boss: ......................
me: Happens all the time, honest, you ever drive out and theres bird crap all over your car and youve no idea how it got there. Well that's how anyway lets talk about the quarter I have some new..............


"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

Always always always keep lies simple

 

[nothingtofear]

I never lie, I always tell the truth and say no. No one asks anymore and I like that.

Same here for the most part. Anyone who knows me doesn't even try for an explanation. If you always have an explanation for something, people will come to expect an explanation but if they're accustomed to you just saying no then they'll stop caring. Think about it, if someone asks you because they want to know if you want to do something, they're looking for a yes or a no, if it's a yes then great and if it's a no, that's what's important and anything else is trivial. Say no, they'll appreciate the straight forwardness and simplicity - and honesty makes things easier for everyone.

 

[Katty]

I only do that when I know absolutely no one in the group. If a person I've never met asks me to go somewhere, I'll ignore them completely because I'm too scared to talk to them myself. However, if my bf or close friends or brothers asked me to go somewhere, I'd go. When I'm around people close to me I talk to more people I don't know.

 

[carecrab]

Pffff all the time. But the thing is that i'm a bad liar, so all my friends thought i didn't want to hang out. Glad that's over now, feel no need to lie anymore.. because really why should i?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I am far too honest.
I recall one time in college- a friend called me and said he would pick me up to bring me to a dinner party and I said; "I don't want to go anywhere. I have explosive diarrhea."

haha

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Did you really have to say explosive? lmao!! Best excuse I've ever heard! It would be hard to say you're making it up, lol.

haha
Yes, I really said explosive.
It was the only descriptive word I could come up with without making my excuse completely disgusting.... mind you, it's still terrible if you manage to get a mental picture... XD
But, yes. It was the truth.
I don't have to make up excuses- I'm sick enough that I can just tell the truth and the grosser the sickness is, the less argument I get from whoever is trying to drag me out with them.
Their response is usually laughter followed by; "...you're serious right now? Oh... uh.... okay..." 0_o'

Maybe I do feel joy in making people respond awkwardly~ bwahaha!

 

[kilojoule]

haha
Yes, I really said explosive.
It was the only descriptive word I could come up with without making my excuse completely disgusting.... mind you, it's still terrible if you manage to get a mental picture... XD
But, yes. It was the truth.
I don't have to make up excuses- I'm sick enough that I can just tell the truth and the grosser the sickness is, the less argument I get from whoever is trying to drag me out with them.
Their response is usually laughter followed by; "...you're serious right now? Oh... uh.... okay..." 0_o'

Maybe I do feel joy in making people respond awkwardly~ bwahaha!

I alsolutely love it

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Although I was already at the social event the other day... there were some games everyone was playing-- potato sack races and such.
Each time someone would call me up, I'd stay in my seat.
I didn't want to run around. Really wasn't into it... too nervous to do anything.
So, I'd say I didn't want to... then my uncle took my arm and pulled me up and said I should really get in there and I said;
"I don't want to do anything physical. I'm having a very heavy period."
his face was like: o______o
'oh.'
And that was that- no one bothered me to do anything after that~

 

[TheSanctuarian]

Although I was already at the social event the other day... there were some games everyone was playing-- potato sack races and such.
Each time someone would call me up, I'd stay in my seat.
I didn't want to run around. Really wasn't into it... too nervous to do anything.
So, I'd say I didn't want to... then my uncle took my arm and pulled me up and said I should really get in there and I said;
"I don't want to do anything physical. I'm having a very heavy period."
his face was like: o______o
'oh.'
And that was that- no one bothered me to do anything after that~

As A guy, I can't use that excuse

 

[Lucy:)]

@Lucy

"I'm sorry I'm late there was a bird that got into the carpark and I had to go find the guy that does the..eh...maintenance yea maintenance I had to find someone from maintenance to tell them about the bird but then I couldn't find anyone and the bird was flapping all over the place and I was really worried so I went looking for somebody again and then I found the guy but he said oh wait here and make sure it doesn't go missing (haha why I said that?!?!?) and Ill go call the animal ....eh animal people who look after this sort of thing. Then he couldn't get signal on his phone so he had to up a few levels to the ground floor and I waited but he was a while. Anyway I'm here now"


One of my favorites from when I was working about 7 years ago when I was real bad and it took me 3 hours to get to work one day I was going to the door and coming back and going to front door and coming back all morning! Anyway eventually when I got to work my boss was there which was highly unusual annual suprise visit that completely caught me off guard. And boss was pissed and came out with "Eh J where were you?" And I answered above


and Boss smiled through the whole story and looked pissed at the same time which I think must be a talent and rest of conversation went like this:



"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

Always always always keep lies simple

Wow, a lot more complexed than mine ever were I have to say.
I guess we're like Joey from friends, very bad liars!

 

[A friend]

Inside and outside of religon, lying has gotten me into trouble in the past.

Getting out of a social event is difficult, and lying to a girlfriend/boyfriend will cause significant damage the relationship, especially once they find out.

For me (due to aspberger's syndrome and SA), going to a large social event causes me to panic, so I do what I can to stay away from large crowds. I try to tell people what happens when large amounts of attention is focused on me, and that works.

So be honest about your problems, and I'm sure the person who cares for you will get the hint of what's going on inside of your mind, emotions, and psychological condition.

 

[Phoenixx]

I am far too honest.
I recall one time in college- a friend called me and said he would pick me up to bring me to a dinner party and I said; "I don't want to go anywhere. I have explosive diarrhea."

haha

Although I was already at the social event the other day... there were some games everyone was playing-- potato sack races and such.
Each time someone would call me up, I'd stay in my seat.
I didn't want to run around. Really wasn't into it... too nervous to do anything.
So, I'd say I didn't want to... then my uncle took my arm and pulled me up and said I should really get in there and I said;
"I don't want to do anything physical. I'm having a very heavy period."
his face was like: o______o
'oh.'
And that was that- no one bothered me to do anything after that~

^ LOL

You and your excuses. :: I think you should write a whole book of creative (and somewhat awkward) lies/excuses for social phobics, or even for those who don't even want to go anywhere or do anything.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

^ LOL
You and your excuses. :: I think you should write a whole book of creative (and somewhat awkward) lies/excuses for social phobics, or even for those who don't even want to go anywhere or do anything.

Ohh... but my whole point was that I don't lie.
I'll say "I don't feel like it because:" and give an actual reason.
XD
I'm just not scared of saying things that make people feel awkward because it's the truth and maybe more information than they'd want- but it prevents them from questioning my reason. haha