Have you ever considered

[BlackKids]

I think it is easy to tell that you are a nice guy but I don't think you are shallow in the least. Getting in shape to attract the opposite sex is not shallow at all. It's completely natural. Animals try to make themselves more attractive in order to attract potential mates and so do we. Even in their world, there are those who are more or less desirable.

Some people don't care or have any standards when it comes to choosing a mate so does that make them trashy or tasteless? That doesn't necessarily make them a great person. You're not shallow for wanting to attract prettier girls. In fact, you are very honest and I personally think that you will succeed. Would you rather settle for someone whom you are not attracted to for the sake of not being shallow?

Christ no. I want someone who I feel like I have to prove my love to everyday. I'm never going to settle!

 

[PennyLane]

My gran always tells me being self conscious is a form of being self centered. I find this pretty harsh but there you go.

Like most elements of SA I know people aren't judging me as badly as I think, but its hard to change believing that. Just as I know it doesn't matter if I make a fool of myself in front of a total stranger tomorrow and never see them again....it would still torture me for weeks regardless.

I think the logic is there for most of us...just not the right thought process.

 

[PennyLane]

yeah the world is like a mirror of what you think of yourself.

Good response

 

[PennyLane]

Sorry getting a bit post-happy but my best friend said that when she met people she presumed they liked her unless they gave her a reason to think otherwise. I realised I do the exact opposite, I normally think people dislike me unless they make a point (or several) of showing me they do.

 

[Sacrament]

My gran always tells me being self conscious is a form of being self centered. I find this pretty harsh but there you go.

It may be harsh (I'd rather call it blunt), but it's very true.

And I like your friend's thinking process. I do the same as most of us with SA/shyness/poor self-esteem do: automatically assume everyone hates us or are making fun of us, making us feel inferior.

It's all in our heads, and no one can 'fix it' but us. Very challenging.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I am breaking my rule I posted last that I wouldn't post here again
It could be seen as a great disadvantage to as we humans have to do
and think of many more things when trying to attract a potential mate.

I suppose it depends on how an indivdual sees it. As you know, I see this as an advantage, but even if it were a disadvantage one could always turn it into something positive. It's not a disadvantage if you're up to the challenge.

 

[iamthenra]

No way!!! For me at least... I grew up in a environment that I was always picked on by my peers, bullied throughout my entire childhood. You would have thought that as kids grew up that I wouldn't be bullied in high school, but I was there too. I was an easy target for everyone, because I was different. I stuck to myself, avoiding people. I didn't have the courage to defend myself either... Nothing like it, going to school fearing for your life at every corner. The bus stop was the worst though, I would constantly get my arse handed to me. I was so used to getting bloody noses, black eyes, fat lips... Then my mother who should have loved me instead of using me as her punching bag, which started when I started going to school at the young age of 6...and didn't end till I was old enough to defend myself against her. Nothing like having to block your mother's punches.. Oh the confidence I have.... (yeah right) self esteem? NOT! You know, I understand the kids that take guns to school. I understand it from my own experience. There were many times I wanted to just even the playing field. Being abused and picked on and bullied, I understand the kids wanting to just "even the score"... I hate people in general, because I was stripped of my childhood without worry or safety and love.