hard to talk to attractive women
- Thread starter recluse
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TAMPA-BAY
Well-known member
I can difinately relate to this tread. There are so many times when I am chatting online with my display pic on then the the female member Ive been chatting with for months dicided to turn on their display picture and then I feel my self going into a full blown panic attack even tho I ve been talking with this atractive person for months. Its so fustrating.
This also happens all the time at my place of work when ever a co-worker I have been talking to all the time comes in out of uniform to get her pay check. I strugle to just do a greeting much less approach that co-worker even tho I can talk to them when they are in work uniform clothes.
I also have been noticeing this with peoples daugters who I use to see and say hi to when they were younger ulgly ducklyn and has now become a swan.
It eats me up that I havent been able to figure out why there is a difference in the way my mind treats the same person who has simply change their apearance but is the exact same person.
This also happens all the time at my place of work when ever a co-worker I have been talking to all the time comes in out of uniform to get her pay check. I strugle to just do a greeting much less approach that co-worker even tho I can talk to them when they are in work uniform clothes.
I also have been noticeing this with peoples daugters who I use to see and say hi to when they were younger ulgly ducklyn and has now become a swan.
It eats me up that I havent been able to figure out why there is a difference in the way my mind treats the same person who has simply change their apearance but is the exact same person.
SocialRetahd
Well-known member
Too me, it's not looks, it's age.
Anyone under 25 scares me.
Anyone under 25 scares me.
recluse
Well-known member
SocialRetahd said:
That's true! it's easier to talk to older women and women who are married o'r in rleationships.
What sucks is when I notice a girl looking at me and I try to look back and appear interested, but I end up sort of looking all serious because I'm nervous and it probably appears like I'm giving them dirty looks.
the_green_bastard
Member
recluse said:
I totally relate. I always worry about my shyness coming across as coldness; that's the last thing I want.
Infected_Malignity
Well-known member
Of course you're going to care a little, but learn to care less and less abotu what others perceive you as. If they don't like you, don't waste your time trying to change their mind. Fuck 'em - find better friends/acquaintances.
SocialRetahd
Well-known member
recluse said:
If you are good looking, than what a waste.
Well don't be. Just imagine that you're talking to some of your average looking gal pals. I mean, what's the difference? their looks? Sometimes, beauty can be a curse and these attractive women even complain of not being asked out (or even talked to!) just because some men find them intimidating.
So, for the shy men out there, come out and talk to women, who knows? they're also shy like you, just waiting for your move and being asked out. We females are sometimes even apprehensive of doing the asking out, so as to avoid looking desperate or easy.
So, all we Juliets do is wait and wait for Romeo...
dutchguy
Well-known member
What if you don't have any 'gal pals'? I feel stupid saying it but I find most almost all women equally intimidating to talk to.
You do mention something interesting though - the fact that women are usually not the ones to 'make the first move' - this is exactly what intimidates me; if I don't know for sure that a girl likes me back, I'm just too scared to talk to her - because otherwise I'll always feel as if she's thinking 'why does this socially inept loser think he has a chance with me?'
Aussie_Lad
Well-known member
There are heaps of ways to gain your confidence around woman. Start talking to those that you know are taken, or woman that are a lot older than yourself. When you do this, you can rest assured that they are not thinking that you are trying to hit on them. Once you have done this a few times, then start chatting to a few single woman, but ones that you aren't really that interested in, then it won't matter what they think about you. Eventually you will find you can quite easily talk to just about any woman without fear of rejection. Talking is easy, what comes next is the more complicated part, for when you want to ask them out you kinda need to sell yourself.
Exactly.
And you can start by being innocently friendly, so that the woman won't assume you're hitting on her. You can smile often, be more approachable and accessible.
Sometimes, you mustn't think about being rejected in the first place!
If it helps, ask a mutual friend to set you up, or drop hints on her and the rest will be up to you.
Think about the Law of Attraction. Your thoughts (consistent thoughts) become things. So you must envision that you're succeeding with your pursuit and not being rejected. Try to be more confident, don't look down or slouch. Try to rehearse what you're going to say and be more relaxed. Ladies don't bite you know.
Good luck!
Kiwong
Well-known member
I can barely talk to people period. I can't be innocently friendly with ANYONE. I piss everyone off, everyone thinks I am hitting on them. That is the core of my mental illness. Being rejected or being called names when you aren't even interested in the first place is embarrassing at first then it becomes soul destroying.
I'm better off talking to people who aren't taken. I get into more trouble with talking to those who are taken. I have a thing with rings you see. I get called names because of it.
I freak people out, people laugh at me. If it was only that simple.
If I start talking to an attractive woman they'll either call me weird or a sleazebag.
I'm better off talking to people who aren't taken. I get into more trouble with talking to those who are taken. I have a thing with rings you see. I get called names because of it.
I freak people out, people laugh at me. If it was only that simple.
If I start talking to an attractive woman they'll either call me weird or a sleazebag.