For me it works this way: if you're an attractive male with a great personality that I find particularly appealing, AWESOME! If you're an attractive male with a horrible personality, no thank you. If you're an unattractive male with a horrible personality, no wayyyy buddy. If you're an unattractive male with a great personality that I personally find appealing, I can probably overlook the physical aspect.
Looks matter to women, but not as much as they do to men I don't think. How often have you seen a hot woman with a not-so-hot guy? He probably has something else going for him.
For me it works this way: if you're an attractive male with a great personality that I find particularly appealing, AWESOME! If you're an attractive male with a horrible personality, no thank you. If you're an unattractive male with a horrible personality, no wayyyy buddy. If you're an unattractive male with a great personality that I personally find appealing, I can probably overlook the physical aspect.
Looks matter to women, but not as much as they do to men I don't think. How often have you seen a hot woman with a not-so-hot guy? He probably has something else going for him.
I've seen some pretty ugly women with good looking men.
Hell, in one of the experiments done on okcupid, a girl on a wheelchair received a lot more messages compared to some fat dudes. (Granted, online dating is not a proxy of real world dating, and guys probably outnumber girls on okcupid).
^ and because girls get tons more messages than guys. even great looking guys apparently get less messages than not great looking girls.
The number I found from 2008 (i know, old) was 1.37 women to 1 man. So, the difference isn't that huge. I wonder if it (girls receiving more messages than guys) has something to do with the expectation of a man to be a "man" and do the approaching.
Well, you see looks first of course, and you'll notice them or not based on that. You can only go for personality if you're given the opportunity to get to know that person.
Obviously that's the most important thing, and why I only tend to have relationships with people that started with friendship.
Well, you see looks first of course, and you'll notice them or not based on that. You can only go for personality if you're given the opportunity to get to know that person.
Obviously that's the most important thing, and why I only tend to have relationships with people that started with friendship.
Don't know if that count since I'm from the opposite gender but often, it happens that someone who's pretty become ugly to my eyes if she have a bad personality and someone that I wouldn't notice at first become the most beautiful people in the world once you get to know her^^
For me, personality is the deciding factor, but looks are also important. If a girl is completely stunning, but is a bitch/annoying/etc, i cant stand to be near her.
Both are important to me, but with that said, personality dictates attraction to some degree for me. For instance, "hot" guy who is a douche is automatically less attractive that an "average" guy who is really nice. I have an ex who would fall into the traditional attractive column (jock, good hair, dressed well, etc.) who was emotionally abusive, so I do not think of him as very good-looking anymore.
However, my current boyfriend, whom I happen to think is pretty handsome anyway, is even more so because he's so sweet and caring.
I would say that looks are very low in determining whether or not I will date someone- whether they are male, female, both, neither, or somewhere in between. If I really enjoy what I consider positive aspects of that person (things like compassion, creativity, kindness, open-mindedness, intellect, curiosity, humor, perceptiveness, acceptance/tolerance of others) then looks will more than likely not get in the way of me dating that person. I have, in the past, gone from thinking someone was physically unattractive initially to falling in love with their personality and then beginning to see them as physically attractive. That is not to say that I do not find certain physical qualities attractive- I do. I guess that I just do not place that much value on them. I think that most individuals like a nice balance of both and that's great, too. I would think that it would only be time to worry when a person cared so much about looks that they would disregard many aspects of someone's personality and allow that person to treat them improperly. Or if someone cared so much about personality that they wanted to change someone else's to make them "perfect." Or if someone tried to change someone's looks because they liked their personality, but didn't like their appearance.
Like most others have said, I would say a combination of both as well.
There's definitely more emphasis on personality for me. For example, I could be friends with an average looking guy but if we have personalities that click and mesh well together, eventually I'll find myself VERY attracted to him and that's enough to make me stay. Besides, age changes physical appearance 🙂
At the same time, on first impression if there's a cute guy walking by, I'd definitely notice... but if I get to know him and find out he doesn't have the traits I'm looking for or if we just aren't compatible, his appearance wouldn't win me over. It's actually more off putting when there's a cute or handsome guy but he turns out to be very arrogant or ignorant.
I only ask as I don't feel attractive on the outside and have it in my head that all girls want 6 packs and toned abbs. I carnt find anyone willing to get to know me due to my shyness at first contact.
Whenever MotherWolff sees a man she is attracted to, MotherWolff says, "oh, HE IS CUTE!" But in the back of my mind I think, "He wouldn't like someone as ugly and boring and nerdy as me! He probably has a crummy personality anyways." And then I move on. But I guess I wouldn't know unless I got to know the guy. So not only would he have to attract me physically but his personality would have to attract me as well. That's why I could never stay with being a **** buddy for even the cutest guy in the whole universe!
Whenever MotherWolff sees a man she is attracted to, MotherWolff says, "oh, HE IS CUTE!" But in the back of my mind I think, "He wouldn't like someone as ugly and boring and nerdy as me!
I think you're putting yourself down a little harshly here. Also you say "nerdy" like it's a bad thing.
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