getting worse

[Earthcircle]

It suddenly dawned on me that, even though my SA was bad when I was a teen, it is actually worse now that I am 50. This is remarkable, I think, because I had many years of therapy, well over ten years actually. Is this a common experience? Does avoidance get worse as one ages?

 

[Diend]

i wouldn't be surprised that it gets worse...for obvioud reasons

 

[Opaline]

Many times I've been told it gets better the older you get. My mom has said that as well. I've found that after my initial progress I've actually gone backwards in some ways now, so it has gotten better since high school in some ways and worse in other ways - much worse (I'm 24 now).

:/

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I would think it gets worse since your friends start having their own families and kids and you start having less people to do anything with. And then of course it gets harder to make new friends as you get older.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I've noticed the same. I'm turning 43 soon, been in therapy for a while now with a good therapist who has given me some tools to cope a little better.

The funny thing is I'm better at coping generally, but the AvPD is worse (if that makes sense..). I had a realisation the other day where I thought 'all I have done is learned to pretend I'm better, or learned to put a mask on a bit better'.

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

This is disheartening

 

[Sacrament]

The fact is that the longer you allow anxiety to take over every aspect your life, the less time you have to fix things. However, no matter what age you are right now or where your life is right now, it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start doing things. The only way to do things without having anxiety take over is to shift your thinking processes to diminish the effects of anxiety itself.

 

[Nanita]

I am more lonely and isolated, people I used to know now have their adult lives with their families, friends, jobs. I don't have any of that.
When I was younger I believed or hoped that I would change and get better. Like "I will probably figure it out, I just have to get some more therapy or travel some more and then come home and get better". But nope, I'm not better. When I was younger I tried to hide my true self, I was ashamed that I was a social phobic and that my life was empty and boring and lonely. I'm still ashamed but I don't try to pretend anymore, I don't try to seem like I got it together. I guess it's good that I'm not trying to be something I'm not.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I am more lonely and isolated, people I used to know now have their adult lives with their families, friends, jobs. I don't have any of that.
When I was younger I believed or hoped that I would change and get better. Like "I will probably figure it out, I just have to get some more therapy or travel some more and then come home and get better". But nope, I'm not better. When I was younger I tried to hide my true self, I was ashamed that I was a social phobic and that my life was empty and boring and lonely. I'm still ashamed but I don't try to pretend anymore, I don't try to seem like I got it together. I guess it's good that I'm not trying to be something I'm not.

HI Nanna,
Try not to compare your journey to anyone else's. You are so unique and a really wonderful person. I wish you felt that more inside and not so bad about yourself. I know you would feel more content if you were creating more art so just focus on that and you will be heading in the right direction for your life and no one elses. ♥

 

[THeCARS1979]

It suddenly dawned on me that, even though my SA was bad when I was a teen, it is actually worse now that I am 50. This is remarkable, I think, because I had many years of therapy, well over ten years actually. Is this a common experience? Does avoidance get worse as one ages?

yeah Im 40, and I try but I seem to just struggle alot. I feel as if I get analysed. Aan to be honest its much harder to make friends after the age of 28 and 29, its like everything you do is so set and concrete by then

 

[arjuna]

To the OP, how much exposure are you getting? Are you getting less than when you were younger?

 

[Nanita]

HI Nanna,
Try not to compare your journey to anyone else's. You are so unique and a really wonderful person. I wish you felt that more inside and not so bad about yourself. I know you would feel more content if you were creating more art so just focus on that and you will be heading in the right direction for your life and no one elses. ♥

I haven't seen this reply of yours until now, sorry! Thank you! I so appreciate being in contact with you. You are awesome!!! ♥

I recently had a dream where a girl I used to know told me to do my art, do art, do music, be creative in any way, be creative for it will save you and keep you sane.... I woke up and I could still hear her saying be creative.