GAP - Girl Angst Place

[singing-love]

If you were raped, it wasn't your fault.
If you were hit, it wasn't your fault.
If you were molested, it wasn't your fault.
If you were abused in any way, it wasn't your fault.
I don’t care WHO abused you or WHY, it wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault.

 

[MikeyC]

A workmate of mine shared a story with me and one our police officer friends. He was saying that his 19 year old daughter (Bella) is dating a guy that he knows nothing about for around two months. He said that his wife received a Facebook message from him asking her if he could marry Bella.

This cop and I both found that very suspicious and the more we probed, the more we found out about this guy: no job, lives with friends, has a daughter from a previous relationship, won't let Bella to his apartment for some reason (we're thinking drugs). And now he asks her mother for Bella's hand in marriage? The cop and I agreed that this is very, very suspicious, and we warned him that this is how domestic violence cases begin.

Bella is a nice girl, but very vulnerable and gullible. Everyone around her can see the signs this guy is giving out except her.

I offered to talk to her, but I know my workmate would never allow that. I think he will try to put a stop to that himself.

So please, if you see signs of this happening to a girl, there's nothing wrong with stepping in (in a tasteful way). Preventing abuse is better than recovering from it, and I can see Bella heading down that road. If he's acting too suspicious, he's probably not worth it!

 

[singing-love]

^ Thankyou for sharing that Mikey, it is true you are better to step in and prevent things then let them happen and try to clean up the aftermath.

 

[MikeyC]

^ Thankyou for sharing that Mikey, it is true you are better to step in and prevent things then let them happen and try to clean up the aftermath.

Agreed. Now I'm worried about Bella because she's in a precarious situation with this guy. I hope she comes to her senses.

I don't even know the guy, but the picture my workmate painted of him was not a pleasant one.

A similar thing happened to Bella not too long ago where a guy used her for her money, and she was completely unknowing to it, even when she saw her bank balance dwindling.

Girls like her are too easy prey for douchebag males, so I hope she gets some courage and fights back.

 

[singing-love]

Agreed. Now I'm worried about Bella because she's in a precarious situation with this guy. I hope she comes to her senses.

I don't even know the guy, but the picture my workmate painted of him was not a pleasant one.

A similar thing happened to Bella not too long ago where a guy used her for her money, and she was completely unknowing to it, even when she saw her bank balance dwindling.

Girls like her are too easy prey for douchebag males, so I hope she gets some courage and fights back.

I hope so too, i am concerned for this girl, i hope she can see the truth before it's too late.

 

[MikeyC]

I hope so too, i am concerned for this girl, i hope she can see the truth before it's too late.

Me, too. Her dad/my workmate is a no-nonsense man, so I think he'll sort the guy out if needed, haha. But yeah, I hope nothing bad happens to her. I can already see her getting beaten up by this bloke. Again, not passing judgment on him because I know nothing about him, but he just seems like a really shady character and she can do way better.

 

[singing-love]

Me, too. Her dad/my workmate is a no-nonsense man, so I think he'll sort the guy out if needed, haha. But yeah, I hope nothing bad happens to her. I can already see her getting beaten up by this bloke. Again, not passing judgment on him because I know nothing about him, but he just seems like a really shady character and she can do way better.

I don't know him either but, he sounds like bad news to me as well. I hope nothing bad happens to her as well, hopefully her dad steps in before it goes that far.

 

[MikeyC]

I don't know him either but, he sounds like bad news to me as well. I hope nothing bad happens to her as well, hopefully her dad steps in before it goes that far.

I hope so, too. Thanks, singing-love.

 

[singing-love]

^ Welcome

 

[chatterbox71]

I didn't even know human sexuality was a course you could do. In a recent thread there was discussion about circumcision, and genital mutilation in women is abhorrent. Women instigating this seems absurd, but there you go.

Sorry to hear about your troubles with your mother. I hope that can be resolved. If she's a negative person by nature, it can be hard to take her in large doses, and feelings have a way of conveying from one person to another, especially negative feelings.

I hope you accept my encouragement, even if I am a male.

Hi, MikeyC! Sorry I didn't see your reply and was offline so long this will seem like it's a century late.

Yes, Human Sexuality is a course you can take--but not everywhere, unfortunately! I think the last time it was taught in the very liberal college town I live in was in 1995--so . . . that speaks volumes, I'd say. Very sad. I have decided that except in pockets here and there in the US, we are "sex ed" (just the basics of anatomy and physiology, in relation to sexuality--not the politics of relationships and issues) deficient. You can't really expect people to learn all they need to in a few short lessons in elementary school, followed by a here-and-there approach in high school. That seems to have been the norm since at least the early 80s in the US, and if you went to school during the abstinence-only reign of a certain administration--or live in the so-called Bible Belt--well, then it might be even less substantial. Anyway, here's hoping there's more and more, and that it is taught in a meaningful, respectful, healthy manner.

And, thank you for your kind words about my relationship with my mother. It can be very challenging, for sure. It's tough to have seen your only parent depressed for much of her life, no matter what she was doing (working, volunteering, retired, etc.).

I am glad to have met people like you and singing-love!

 

[BlueDays]

It might be helpful if you put a trigger warning message at the beginning of the thread, singing-love.
Some of this thread may be distressing for some girls and it would be nice if they are given the heads up before they start reading, so they can choose not to read on if they know it will be distressing for them. Just sayin'

 

[MikeyC]

Hi, MikeyC! Sorry I didn't see your reply and was offline so long this will seem like it's a century late.

Yes, Human Sexuality is a course you can take--but not everywhere, unfortunately! I think the last time it was taught in the very liberal college town I live in was in 1995--so . . . that speaks volumes, I'd say. Very sad. I have decided that except in pockets here and there in the US, we are "sex ed" (just the basics of anatomy and physiology, in relation to sexuality--not the politics of relationships and issues) deficient. You can't really expect people to learn all they need to in a few short lessons in elementary school, followed by a here-and-there approach in high school. That seems to have been the norm since at least the early 80s in the US, and if you went to school during the abstinence-only reign of a certain administration--or live in the so-called Bible Belt--well, then it might be even less substantial. Anyway, here's hoping there's more and more, and that it is taught in a meaningful, respectful, healthy manner.

And, thank you for your kind words about my relationship with my mother. It can be very challenging, for sure. It's tough to have seen your only parent depressed for much of her life, no matter what she was doing (working, volunteering, retired, etc.).

I am glad to have met people like you and singing-love!

I think sex education is becoming more stigmatised, and with all the different religions and backgrounds people come from, organising a world-friendly education about sex is practically impossible. I do remember doing sex education in primary school, but none in high school, which is where it's probably more needed because teenagers want to have sex and there's little knowledge. In the United States, I hope what you're saying changes because it's quite a necessary topic to discuss, and if it can be done in a safe and healthy manner, I think it benefits everyone.

Seeing your mother depressed all the time must be terrible, so hopefully she gets better.

 

[singing-love]

It might be helpful if you put a trigger warning message at the beginning of the thread, singing-love.
Some of this thread may be distressing for some girls and it would be nice if they are given the heads up before they start reading, so they can choose not to read on if they know it will be distressing for them. Just sayin'

This is good advice thank you! Although i have no idea how to do this :thinking:

 

[singing-love]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to address a common thing in society, verbal abuse. Unfortunately this is becoming more and more common, verbal abuse is just as damaging to an individual as any other form of abuse. It's a common misconception that words aren't as damaging as fists, but, they are. I implore anyone who is suffering not just from this abuse, but, any to please speak up! There are people to help, i'm here for you, all of you. *Hugs* to everyone who needs it!

 

[MikeyC]

Verbal abuse is terrible, and definitely not a female-only problem. :sad:

 

[mismeek]

Oooh i like it here *makes herself comfy*

 

[Srijita52]

Just stopping by to say that its an awesome thread. Well done singing-love.

 

[singing-love]

Verbal abuse is terrible, and definitely not a female-only problem. :sad:

Your right Mikey this is an issue that effects everyone and everyone should speak up and ask for help, no one should suffer in silence.

Oooh i like it here *makes herself comfy*

Please, make yourself at home

Just stopping by to say that its an awesome thread. Well done singing-love.

Thank you :shyness:

 

[Graeme1988]

I just wanted to take this opportunity to address a common thing in society, verbal abuse. Unfortunately this is becoming more and more common, verbal abuse is just as damaging to an individual as any other form of abuse. It's a common misconception that words aren't as damaging as fists, but, they are. I implore anyone who is suffering not just from this abuse, but, any to please speak up! There are people to help, i'm here for you, all of you. *Hugs* to everyone who needs it!

Your right Mikey this is an issue that effects everyone and everyone should speak up and ask for help, no one should suffer in silence.

Ah can relate, and agree words hurt more than fists. Verbal abuse definitely does a number on yer self-confidence, speakin' from experience verbally bullied. But what if speakin' up only causes or makes things worse, especially if the vebally abusive ones are relatives? Well that the jist of ma situation withoot goin' intae too much detail. Just askin'...

Awright, ah'll leave you, ladies tae talk about whatever ye talk about. Hope me sayin' doesnae offended anybuddy?

 

[singing-love]

Ah can relate, and agree words hurt more than fists. Verbal abuse definitely does a number on yer self-confidence, speakin' from experience verbally bullied. But what if speakin' up only causes or makes things worse, especially if the vebally abusive ones are relatives? Well that the jist of ma situation withoot goin' intae too much detail. Just askin'...

Awright, ah'll leave you, ladies tae talk about whatever ye talk about. Hope me sayin' doesnae offended anybuddy?

It becomes a lot harder when the abusers are relatives, you feel even worse when it comes from people that you have always known, the people that are meant to be there to pick you up not knock you down harder. Without revealing too much A friend of mine has/does live through this and it's not pleasant, and She found that speaking to the involved family member/s only made matters worse. This is when She turned to friends to support me when things got hard, it doesn't really solve the problem but, having people to help you in the darkness makes things easier to bear. Eventually (not long ago now) she found the courage to really speak up to them and managed to get other family members involved to get the message across. She found this worked for her, but it's not for everyone. Other people have moved on with other family members/friends to escape troubles at home, but that also isn't for everyone.

Those are a few ideas, it's a really tough situation and I'm so sorry you are going through this dreadful thing. I really do hope that things start to improve for you, and feel free to write stuff here whenever you like (even if I don't have all the answers) I will do my best to help.

I'm going to do some more research into this problems and try to come up with some strategies.