Hi there.
I would like to share my story since i didn't find any comments for the case like mine.
I came to one european country marrying my actual husband. The relation started by being charmed by his personal qualities and falling in love. I left my starting career as a doctor and found myself in a new country. Struggling for few years to get my diplomas validated, i changed several times the city where i live. My husband changed during those years from a loving caring man to a personal couch, constantly giving me advices and pushing to get any job. He was disappointed in my long journey to my high goals and stopped loving me. We fight more and more untill i found a program in hours of driving from his place and moved for one year. I met a charming young man, who seemed to be a soulmate, a rare diamond and i let myself in this affair. Loosing my mind and seriously thinking of divorce. I lived with this guy few month and he end up beating me and abusing verbally. I end up with destroying wo relations and feeling scared. Today i know that i will survive, i will one day meet a rught guy. But i question myself why i choose wrong men for me. My husband is nothing about the image of a perfect guy, and sexually we are not fit at all. He changed and became totally absent to me. He doesn't know that i cheated, but he never really cared about it. I feel like he knew i won't bring money in couple soon and now i'm a load on his shoulder. The other guy wanted to marry, insisted on divorce, was showing all classical signs of an abuser. Extreme jealousy, issues about my friends, dressing, criticising my family and my husband's family (they don't care about you), lots of promises, lots of small lies, secret friendships. I couldn't complain, cause the only response was get "divorced and we talk". His family is not aware of the fact we lived together, he is from middle east and he said they won't understand. I left because he left bruishes on my arms after a fight (i attacked him cause he was insulting me verbally), he pushed me rudely in the street in public thinking i'm drunk after the bar and can't remember. His mother is treated for bipolar disease and he lived through war. His family had poverty times and he is full of insecurities today. I realise that i should not be back, he won't change. But my instable situation with husband, danger of divorce and staying in a country with no job, money and papers (i totally depend on my marriage status to be legal) is making me very anxious and i shake. Sexually my lover was nothing to compare with husband, and it's a huge issue also. My husband is a drinker and beer changed his libido...I am in my husband's place and he treats me like a temporary guest. It is humiliating, but i know i destroyed things myself. I try to stay strong, i write an article to publish, i do daily sport, and i search for a job. I should add that i was falling in depression with my lover , sleeping too much and not motivated for anything. It's been a week i'm far from him, energy is back. I am writing here just to put this out, cause i can't keep it more. I will read all the comments, and i will try to see how my situation looks from outside of my mind. Is it just about wrong men? My low self-esteem? Loneliness? Adaptation stress? New country? Thank you, if you could read it through. Thank you.
I would like to share my story since i didn't find any comments for the case like mine.
I came to one european country marrying my actual husband. The relation started by being charmed by his personal qualities and falling in love. I left my starting career as a doctor and found myself in a new country. Struggling for few years to get my diplomas validated, i changed several times the city where i live. My husband changed during those years from a loving caring man to a personal couch, constantly giving me advices and pushing to get any job. He was disappointed in my long journey to my high goals and stopped loving me. We fight more and more untill i found a program in hours of driving from his place and moved for one year. I met a charming young man, who seemed to be a soulmate, a rare diamond and i let myself in this affair. Loosing my mind and seriously thinking of divorce. I lived with this guy few month and he end up beating me and abusing verbally. I end up with destroying wo relations and feeling scared. Today i know that i will survive, i will one day meet a rught guy. But i question myself why i choose wrong men for me. My husband is nothing about the image of a perfect guy, and sexually we are not fit at all. He changed and became totally absent to me. He doesn't know that i cheated, but he never really cared about it. I feel like he knew i won't bring money in couple soon and now i'm a load on his shoulder. The other guy wanted to marry, insisted on divorce, was showing all classical signs of an abuser. Extreme jealousy, issues about my friends, dressing, criticising my family and my husband's family (they don't care about you), lots of promises, lots of small lies, secret friendships. I couldn't complain, cause the only response was get "divorced and we talk". His family is not aware of the fact we lived together, he is from middle east and he said they won't understand. I left because he left bruishes on my arms after a fight (i attacked him cause he was insulting me verbally), he pushed me rudely in the street in public thinking i'm drunk after the bar and can't remember. His mother is treated for bipolar disease and he lived through war. His family had poverty times and he is full of insecurities today. I realise that i should not be back, he won't change. But my instable situation with husband, danger of divorce and staying in a country with no job, money and papers (i totally depend on my marriage status to be legal) is making me very anxious and i shake. Sexually my lover was nothing to compare with husband, and it's a huge issue also. My husband is a drinker and beer changed his libido...I am in my husband's place and he treats me like a temporary guest. It is humiliating, but i know i destroyed things myself. I try to stay strong, i write an article to publish, i do daily sport, and i search for a job. I should add that i was falling in depression with my lover , sleeping too much and not motivated for anything. It's been a week i'm far from him, energy is back. I am writing here just to put this out, cause i can't keep it more. I will read all the comments, and i will try to see how my situation looks from outside of my mind. Is it just about wrong men? My low self-esteem? Loneliness? Adaptation stress? New country? Thank you, if you could read it through. Thank you.
