Former best friend's graduation party

Azael

Well-known member
People grow apart, that is life, and it happens to everyone. I doubt they will think anything of your absence other then that. In fact, they more than likely will be looking forward to seeing you. Your former best friend in particular is probably wanting to get back in contact with you. Instead of dwelling on the negtives, think of the positives. It's an opportunity to rectify a mistake that you openly regret. But if you truly can't handle it, then this is the time to put the past behind once and for all.
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
People grow apart, that is life, and it happens to everyone. I doubt they will think anything of your absence other then that. In fact, they more than likely will be looking forward to seeing you. Your former best friend in particular is probably wanting to get back in contact with you. Instead of dwelling on the negtives, think of the positives. It's an opportunity to rectify a mistake that you openly regret. But if you truly can't handle it, then this is the time to put the past behind once and for all.

I agree with that, but I also understand how nervous you might be about it. First of all I think you should really drop all this shame and guilt. I know it's easier said than done but seriously, whatever failure your life could be, you have no reason to be ashamed of yourself or feeling guilty about anything. I'm pretty sure these people are not thinking anything negative about you. In the worst case, they will be worried that they're boring you. And if really you think there is no way you can survive this party, why don't you just tell your friend that you don't really have fun in parties and you rather go have a coffee with him to catch up or something?
 

twiggle

Well-known member
Where there's an invite, there's a want. Your friend wants you there, and personally I think you should go. This is a special ceremony for him and I'm sure that by going, it would mean a massive deal to him and possibly spark the friendship up again.
If you don't go, you may regret it in the long-run.
Only other option, if you're that worried, is to use the contact to say "Sorry, I can't make it, but I'd really like to meet with you so do you fancy going for pizza sometime?" or something.
 

Niteowl

Well-known member
Think of it this way mate, if you don't go it's going to be another of those things you feel bad about refusing to do. It might not be the most pleasant experience for you at the time, but won't you feel better afterwards having gone, as opposed to having not gone? Don't do anything you're really uncomfortable with, but if you think you might be able to handle it, it will be good for you, and he'll be grateful if you do.
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LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
If you come to the party thinking this is awkward, it will be awkward. Try not to overthink it. It's a family and friend party. It sounds like a good friend to me. You should go. You were invited again, so it's not like something terrible happend the last time. You can acknowledge how long it's been but it's not like you have to talk that much, just be there. Maybe you will become what you were or closer to it.
 

all4thebest

New member
I'm new here so I don't really have any helpful advice for you, but I'm going through a similar thing myself at the moment and joined this forum to try and pick up tips. I haven't been out socially for about 5 years but there is a party happening next Saturday which for various reasons I have to attend. There is literally no way out of it other than throwing myself down some stairs and breaking an ankle! Like you it's all I'm thinking about and it's making me extremely anxious. The thing I am focussing on, is how much it will mean to the person whose party it is that I make the effort to attend. I've set myself a goal of staying at least one hour at the party and if I can acheive that I will be happy. Maybe you could just stay for as long as you feel comfortable for and then make your excuses?

I hope that if you decide to go that it goes really well for you.
 

Droopey

New member
I've would've come clean and told him about everything. Sounds like a stand-up dude, you really don't get much of that these days. Tell him why you've blown him off and that you've always cherished the friendship you guys have had.
 
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