feeling lonely

[JosephG]

I have friends yes. I also have quite a few acquaintances who appreciate my company. I have a loving and caring family. Yet with all this I feel so alone. I feel as if I can't forge close relationships with these people. And I feel guilty expressing this here - I know so many of you do not have much social contact at all where as I have a lot of it. Yet there's always been something missing - the ability to have a friendly light conversation and to forget myself while I'm at it.
I feel that that is the root cause of why I can't get close to people. In order to get close to people, to form close friendships and relationships you need to at least have fun with people right? and I can't do that... with anybody. It's horrible. Some days it is so bad people will stay stuff to me and I am completely blank. It is not that I am afraid to speak - it is simply there is nothing there to say. No response - no random firing of neurones with a thought that I am sure is meant to happen. Right now I can't see this ever improving. Sometimes I just wish the ground would swallow me up ;/
Sorry... needed to vent.

 

[Phoenixx]

I definitely know this feeling. I have a few friends too and I also have a loving family. But yet, I still feel so lonely. Mostly because even though I have these people in my life, I still can't bring myself to actually open up. Since I was about 13, it's been difficult for me. If anything, I only let half of myself show. I completely suppress my problems and bottle my feelings, as well as keeping half of my interests a secret.

As far as conversing goes, there have been very few times where I "forgot myself" and had fun doing so. I'm always self-conscious as I'm speaking, not only from anxiety, but I hate my voice and how I speak. I was born with a partial cleft palate so I have a slight lisp and some pronunciations are difficult. But even though I have a slight lisp, I always notice it, which makes me wonder if other people do too...

 

[Arthur_Dent]

I'm able to have some fun with my friends and my brother. But still I also feel lonely. I feel that I can't be totally myself with the people I know. I don't trust anybody at that level.

I like to belive that if I'll ever trust anybody at that level, it would be with a special woman. But I can't even get a female friend, and that jus makes me feel even more lonely.

 

[whattodo1]

I feel THE EXACT SAME WAY! I'm in the same situation as you where I have friends, family and tons of social interaction but I'm never able to have fun because I don't talk in these social situations, and I don't know WHY?! I have so much fun and I am absolutely fine with my 3 bestfriends and my brother and sister but everyone else like friends of friends and aquaintances and even my really close friends I can't really have fun with unless I'm drunk or something!

 

[recluse]

God! I can relate! I often don't know what to say to people, and thus i worry that they think i don't like them or something.

It's not being shy but the fact i don't know what to say. I spent a day with a friend on Sunday and i spent a lot of the time being silent not knowing what to talk about with her. She must want to spend time with me though as she always makes the move of inviting me to visit her (she lives in another country) but i still have doubts in my mind why anyone would want to spend time with someone like me. I feel that i never truly connect with anyone because i am so damn quiet and awkward. I hate it when we are in a restaurant or something and people around us are talking so freely, and i wonder with envy how the hell people can find it easy to make convo.