Fascinating

[Sial Axetder]

http://www.sebastyne.net/human-behavior-psychology/expectations-on-men/

It's an interesting article. Should be read I think.

Women, take note, it was written by a woman.
Men, no reason to gloat or point fingers or blame. That's just ungentlemanly.

 

[coyote]

i like her shoes

 

[Pookah]

That woman is only one kind of woman. I'm probably nothing like her and what about girls who aren't "reasonably thin and curvaceous." Maybe because she is perfect it means women don't have it hard, but not all of us are like her.

 

[OceanMist]

Very interesting article. I agree with most of the things the author said.

66% of marriages that end in divorce have the divorce initiated by the woman. This article does a good job of explaining exactly why that number is so lopsided.

She said it best when she mentioned how men make the initiative but women choose. Men must do, please and achieve while "women don't have to do ...."

 

[Sial Axetder]

That woman is only one kind of woman. I'm probably nothing like her and what about girls who aren't "reasonably thin and curvaceous." Maybe because she is perfect it means women don't have it hard, but not all of us are like her.

Yep. Although I didn't pay grand attention to that bit of the article. Thought it more of a, perhaps, long winded example. She could have chosen better words there.

 

[Etbow23]

hm..a bit of a biased article. It depends on the relationship. I notice sometimes women can abuse a man but vice versa it can't happen. And other points as well. But I don't think women have it so easy as the article says. We usually do all the housework and I know a lot of free-loader guys who steal money from their women and treat them like sh*t. And vice versa.

So sorry, but can't say I agree with this. There are too many variables.

And just pretty//thin/slightly curvaceous? Huh? Have you seen the statistics for the average woman versus average model, or the amount of money the cosmetics industry makes per year...fueled by women?

Men and women BOTH get pressured by society and the opposite sex. Not just men.

I don't place all these demands on my boyfriend. He's maybe an inch or 2 taller than me (i'm pretty tall for a woman), and isn't well-paid. He's an illegal immigrant, he came here when he was a teenager. However he's very hardworking and wants to make something better of himself i believe/ But we love each other and accept each other, I demand things of him sometimes but he can do the same. It depends. But this article says women do all these things. Our relationship is give and take. There are some inequalities but not like what she's saying.

With men, i've never been so demanding. I've liked the door opened for me, etc, but I mean come on, what's wrong with that? These things aren't as important to me...most of all I want respect and equality and understanding in the relationship. I also want loyalty--this is very important to me because I had a deadbeat dad who I haven't seen or heard from in years. I don't want to be abandoned or betrayed.

but also, the writer has a point that women's demands on men are often ignored/not considered big.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

God bless whistleblowers.

I guess this must be a difficult read for a woman,to see yourself revealed by someone in the know.To have the truth told about yourself and to yourself.
It can only be a good thing not to go into denial after reading this.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

hm..a bit of a biased article. It depends on the relationship. I notice sometimes women can abuse a man but vice versa it can't happen. And other points as well. But I don't think women have it so easy as the article says. We usually do all the housework and I know a lot of free-loader guys who steal money from their women and treat them like sh*t. And vice versa.

So sorry, but can't say I agree with this. There are too many variables.

And just pretty//thin/slightly curvaceous? Huh? Have you seen the statistics for the average woman versus average model, or the amount of money the cosmetics industry makes per year...fueled by women?

Men and women BOTH get pressured by society and the opposite sex. Not just men.

I agree. Women have just as many expectations placed on them. Women are expected to have the perfect body, clean the house, cook, take care of children, maintain family connections, etc. Furthermore, this article is basically blaming women exclusively for male gender roles, but men are just as guilty of establishing and perpetuating both male gender roles and female gender roles. In fact, I might be able to argue that men are even more responsible for defining the gender roles for both sexes since men, as a group, have had more political, social, and economic power historically, and they continue to maintain that power today. Having this sort of power means that someone is more able to control the images and ideas that other people experience. Understanding gender roles are complicated, and I don't know if the author of this article gets that.

 

[OceanMist]

I do think that women aren't to blame for gender roles, as I believe gender roles are a result of human nature's impact on people. Gender roles just happened, they weren't forced upon people by either sex. There was no avoiding gender roles, and they are impossible to change throughout the world. Men will always chase, and women will always sit back and choose, at least the majority of the time.

Society has naturally fallen into this pattern of gender roles, and nobody is to blame for this. Except maybe God (if you are religious).

Like how I can't get a date, I don't blame women for that, or men. They aren't specifically targeting me to avoid dating me, it's just the way nature has worked itself out. If gender roles were flipped, men would be the picky choosers instead and this article would be about us.

 

[Thelema]

So what came first, the chicken or the egg??

 

[BlueDays]

That woman is only one kind of woman. I'm probably nothing like her and what about girls who aren't "reasonably thin and curvaceous." Maybe because she is perfect it means women don't have it hard, but not all of us are like her.

I agree. Women have just as many expectations placed on them. Women are expected to have the perfect body, clean the house, cook, take care of children, maintain family connections, etc. Furthermore, this article is basically blaming women exclusively for male gender roles, but men are just as guilty of establishing and perpetuating both male gender roles and female gender roles. In fact, I might be able to argue that men are even more responsible for defining the gender roles for both sexes since men, as a group, have had more political, social, and economic power historically, and they continue to maintain that power today. Having this sort of power means that someone is more able to control the images and ideas that other people experience. Understanding gender roles are complicated, and I don't know if the author of this article gets that.

^ Could not have said it any better myself.

Black and white thinking applied to anything just makes my blood boil.
It may be easier for people to think in terms of only black or white, but it just discounts the multitude of grey matter that exists in this world.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I only got part way through the article. Perhaps I'll try again later. Halfway through the first paragraph, I wondered if it had been written sometime in the 1950s. It seems to express some rather odd and simplistic views, but as I say I didn't read the whole thing yet.

 

[Blabla..]

i couldn't read very far but i don't agree with it

i don't open doors , pay bills or carry bags unless it's from good will , my girlfriend is with me because she likes me for who i am , i don't understand what kind of relation it would be otherwise

"Don’t get me wrong. I am one of the most demanding women out there. I want my man to be this and that "

this is a big mistake , this is not love

 

[Etbow23]

I agree. Women have just as many expectations placed on them. Women are expected to have the perfect body, clean the house, cook, take care of children, maintain family connections, etc. Furthermore, this article is basically blaming women exclusively for male gender roles, but men are just as guilty of establishing and perpetuating both male gender roles and female gender roles. In fact, I might be able to argue that men are even more responsible for defining the gender roles for both sexes since men, as a group, have had more political, social, and economic power historically, and they continue to maintain that power today. Having this sort of power means that someone is more able to control the images and ideas that other people experience. Understanding gender roles are complicated, and I don't know if the author of this article gets that.

Good thoughts on how gender roles/expectations began.

I'm not trying to go on a feminist crusade, but I think any educated person will notice that women are underrepresented in society, which is why by textbook term they are considered a minority. I'm not saying that we don't have rights and freedom, but look at the news, sports, business CEOs, billionaires--all men. That's the way it is. Men typically have more power in the sense that you were saying.

 

[MikeyC]

What a terrible article. I can see her point of view, but both sexes have it as hard as each other for different reasons.

That woman is only one kind of woman. I'm probably nothing like her and what about girls who aren't "reasonably thin and curvaceous." Maybe because she is perfect it means women don't have it hard, but not all of us are like her.

I agree. Women have just as many expectations placed on them. Women are expected to have the perfect body, clean the house, cook, take care of children, maintain family connections, etc. Furthermore, this article is basically blaming women exclusively for male gender roles, but men are just as guilty of establishing and perpetuating both male gender roles and female gender roles. In fact, I might be able to argue that men are even more responsible for defining the gender roles for both sexes since men, as a group, have had more political, social, and economic power historically, and they continue to maintain that power today. Having this sort of power means that someone is more able to control the images and ideas that other people experience. Understanding gender roles are complicated, and I don't know if the author of this article gets that.

These two posts highlight my thoughts better than I ever could.

 

[hippiechild]

The mindset that facilitated that article and all of it's infinite incarnations is exactly why people are hard to work with. PEOPLE, I said... that's all we are, people. It would be nice if we could all drop the dehumanization and try treating each other as though we were one and the same.

 

[Lea]

I find it silly men and women arguing who of them is worse off. Because nothing is black and white, and in the end we´re just only PEOPLE, not men and women . I think those who protest most against the other gender have some problem. But I do think all people should have basic human responsibilities towards each other.

 

[coyote]

The mindset that facilitated that article and all of it's infinite incarnations is exactly why people are hard to work with. PEOPLE, I said... that's all we are, people. It would be nice if we could all drop the dehumanization and try treating each other as though we were one and the same.

I find it silly men and women arguing who of them is worse off. Because nothing is black and white, and in the end we´re just only PEOPLE, not men and women . I think those who protest most against the other gender have some problem. But I do think all people should have basic human responsibilities towards each other.

 

[Aletheia]

Women are expected to have the perfect body, clean the house, cook, take care of children, maintain family connections, etc.

People talk about the third shift, with regards what is expected of modern women:

First shift: maintain a demanding career.

Second shift: do the lion's share of the housework and childcare and entertaining.

Third shift: spend ridiculous amounts of time (and money) in the gym, salon and spa, striving after the physical perfection we're expected to attain.

Doesn't leave much time for sleep, or any energy at all for sex.

 

[Aletheia]

i don't open doors , pay bills or carry bags unless it's from good will

My Texan boyfriend always pulled out chairs for me, and stood up whenever a woman entered the room. This initially raised my feminist hackles, but as I got to know him, I came to see it as part of his striving towards his notion of a "good man" and I ended up thinking of it as sweet and chivalrous.

But I would certainly never expect it of anyone.