Expressing my inner thoughts
- Thread starter Nathália
- Start date
truffleshuffle, I read what you put down and I appreciate your input and new perspective on things.
Yeah me too.....I'm less nervous....but still worried.....XhugsX.......
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. :: I know how you feel. My grandmother is going through some complications of her own. I hope he can pull through!
Yeah me too.....I'm less nervous....but still worried.....XhugsX.......
I did come here yesterday to post a huge rant. but I feel much better. My pops get the surgery on the 28th, so we really leave on the 24th. I'm kind of sick about it, when I think about it and other things.
Good my mood has changed and has been the same for a a couple of days. I rarely feel this way, but it's naturally how I am without depression, quirky.
Issues that are holding down my mental health makes me mad when I think about them. 2 seconds away from a rant......turns up music and start singing....... LALADEDEDAH DAH DAH whooo whoooo whooo.
Good my mood has changed and has been the same for a a couple of days. I rarely feel this way, but it's naturally how I am without depression, quirky.
Issues that are holding down my mental health makes me mad when I think about them. 2 seconds away from a rant......turns up music and start singing.......
LALADEDEDAH DAH DAH whooo whoooo whooo.
I hope your mood stays well, Nathalia.
Now it's a party.Yeah right I'm going to sing my fat arshe right to sleep, I hope your mood stays well too
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MikeyC
Well-known member
Thanks, Nathalia.
Yeah right I'm going to sing my fat arshe right to sleep, I hope your mood stays well too
I got into a fight this morning with my mother. She was attacking me agian about how I looked.
Usually, I engage become annoyed get upset and get over it. I couldn't, I was very annoyed with her comments. The more I cried the more upset I got at her, so I decided that I'm going to talk to her.
"I was just giving my opinion and that's what people do, you wouldn't understand because you're not a mother. Mothers are concerned for their children" I don't think you're crazy or that you're trying to look crazy, I just don't like it. I'm the mother I can say whatever I want to you even if you don't like it" I understand we have two different taste fine."
Okay, but she's been on case about the same thing for the past year. It's not like I'm going outside in clown make up, I just have curly hair. I brought myself a wig so she would leave me alone, that didn't work. It comes to a point where it's picking and making fun of, reminds me of catty people. Let it go.
What she doesn't understand is that people will judge me no matter what. I'm a freaking adult, thank goodness the abusive hell I endured when I was younger. Plus my family does not even know the half. It's going to be a while till I can move out I need to finish school first.
I really have a goal to leave America for good, (I do not hate America). I had the opportunity right after high school, thanks to this teacher who selected me to be in a program that very few students have an opportunity to be in. A scholarship to travel abroad, I was shocked I was chose because usually outspoken people get chosen more. After high school, I was too afraid to leave home. High school I was just glad to be out of that hell hole. I was too chicken to take the opportunity. The last time, a few months ago I talked to my therapist about this and I told her about my dream, I said it's never going to happen or it's going to be when I'm old when I leave. I was shot down by her, telling me no, I can do it in the next few years and that people travel all the time. Like how? This is not an idea that just popped into my head, I've been practicing the language for almost 4 years and recently looking into how to gain citizenship and a visa.
I doubt I will get a good job in my field after college, I would have to go longer. Maybe I can become a substitute teacher or a para educator if I am lucky. ( Yeah I know I only need a high school degree to be a para, but a degree can help) I need to talk to someone about this.
Despite my falling out this morning I had a good day and I went out into a big crowd of people to watch a movie. My only anxiety was, " what do do with my hands" then I felt my face looked gross feeling hideous. No panic attacks. OCD started up a few times. Big for me because I'm agoraphobic, but agoraphobia has been decreasing. Not cured, but at least I can leave the house.
Slowly making a recovery.
Usually, I engage become annoyed get upset and get over it. I couldn't, I was very annoyed with her comments. The more I cried the more upset I got at her, so I decided that I'm going to talk to her.
"I was just giving my opinion and that's what people do, you wouldn't understand because you're not a mother. Mothers are concerned for their children" I don't think you're crazy or that you're trying to look crazy, I just don't like it. I'm the mother I can say whatever I want to you even if you don't like it" I understand we have two different taste fine."
Okay, but she's been on case about the same thing for the past year. It's not like I'm going outside in clown make up, I just have curly hair. I brought myself a wig so she would leave me alone, that didn't work. It comes to a point where it's picking and making fun of, reminds me of catty people. Let it go.
What she doesn't understand is that people will judge me no matter what. I'm a freaking adult, thank goodness the abusive hell I endured when I was younger. Plus my family does not even know the half. It's going to be a while till I can move out I need to finish school first.
I really have a goal to leave America for good, (I do not hate America). I had the opportunity right after high school, thanks to this teacher who selected me to be in a program that very few students have an opportunity to be in. A scholarship to travel abroad, I was shocked I was chose because usually outspoken people get chosen more. After high school, I was too afraid to leave home. High school I was just glad to be out of that hell hole. I was too chicken to take the opportunity. The last time, a few months ago I talked to my therapist about this and I told her about my dream, I said it's never going to happen or it's going to be when I'm old when I leave. I was shot down by her, telling me no, I can do it in the next few years and that people travel all the time. Like how? This is not an idea that just popped into my head, I've been practicing the language for almost 4 years and recently looking into how to gain citizenship and a visa.
I doubt I will get a good job in my field after college, I would have to go longer. Maybe I can become a substitute teacher or a para educator if I am lucky. ( Yeah I know I only need a high school degree to be a para, but a degree can help) I need to talk to someone about this.
Despite my falling out this morning I had a good day and I went out into a big crowd of people to watch a movie. My only anxiety was, " what do do with my hands" then I felt my face looked gross feeling hideous. No panic attacks. OCD started up a few times. Big for me because I'm agoraphobic, but agoraphobia has been decreasing. Not cured, but at least I can leave the house.
Slowly making a recovery.
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hardy
Well-known member
Someone once said, 'parents spoil their children in their anxiety to teach them stuff'. You are not alone in this.
Ignoring them is the best solution i found. I have a friend who keeps telling me i should get a career....i am doing my best(its not easy to get a job when i am so anxious), but he constantly keeps pestering me.At first i used to fight back...but he won't listen. So i started ignoring him...works fine. :applause:
Ignoring them is the best solution i found. I have a friend who keeps telling me i should get a career....i am doing my best(its not easy to get a job when i am so anxious), but he constantly keeps pestering me.At first i used to fight back...but he won't listen. So i started ignoring him...works fine. :applause:
Sorry Hardy. Glad that solution works for you. It works for me sometimes too, it just becomes annoying after a while. I guess it shouldn't be taken seriously? I get it severe anxiety can halt things sometimes. Wish you luck.
truffleshuffle
Well-known member
My father was that way He would constantly call me worthless and stupid and would say things like I would never amount to anything in life among other things. I think it was mostly he didn;t like that fact I had problmes like a learning disability and was kind of agoraphobic and not as social as my brother. I am glad despite you haveing a falling out you kept your good mood because thats hard to do when your own family is what causing you hart ach and pain.
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: That's mean. I hope you're doing better today. Especially when you're young and you have a parent telling you stuff like that it's hurtful. Thanks for sharing your story.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Nathalia, I'm sorry your parents are doing that. Our parents are the people that we look up to, even when we're adults, because no matter what they're like, they're the people that raised us. To have them criticise you like that is quite harsh and I'm sorry.
You're a great person.
You're a great person.
truffleshuffle
Well-known member
Yes doing alot better He was a very big ***hole. He had his own problmes and we suspected he had bi-polar among other things. You can;t let the ***holes of life ruin your life. It dose get harder when its a parent though. I am just glad I had my mom. She is a wonderful person even though I don;t think she understands my SA at all.:
Ha. My mind is like 100 MPH right now. Here. There. Where? Where? Who? What? Where? How? Why? Lucky me I have anxiety medication that will knock me dead in a hard sleep after 20 mins. I sleep like cat like without it, but now people can be calling my name and they wake me up and don't even remember being woke up it or even walking around. Had to tell people don't talk to me early in the morning or late at night, just don't, wait until I get the stuff out of my system.
Social anxiety has been gone for a while now, but of course I'm still quite and get teased about that, but anxiety has been low. Since so much is on my mind I'm posting another post.
Social anxiety has been gone for a while now, but of course I'm still quite and get teased about that, but anxiety has been low. Since so much is on my mind I'm posting another post.
There is roaches all over this house, we haven't bathed in two days. Roaches all on the table, in the den where we sleep, roaches and spiders crawling out the cracks, etc. This house is filthy cleaning wouldn't do anything, it needs to be demolished. The carpet is red and all the red carpet has black spots in it every where, etc it's too much. Wait I'm not done with my thoughts. I'm putting in different post so I don't seem so random skipping from here to there, I'm a mess I know. I just killed another one a second ago, way too many roaches.
gummybear22
Well-known member
i couldn't handle your living situation with all the roaches-i've got some fear of them and won't kill them but with spray so as to stay as far away from them as possible. i HATE it when they fly-drives my fear way up
spiders are alrightish, i don't like ones much bigger than half the size of my pinky nail. have always disliked and had some fear of grandaddy longlegs. i've come to the conclusion that spiders' leg length is what does stuff-the longer the legs, the more freaked out i am
what if you got those bug bomb things? that should wipe everything out, but you'd need to prepare your house for all those chemicals (food, drinks, etc) and stay somewhere else until it dissipates
spiders are alrightish, i don't like ones much bigger than half the size of my pinky nail. have always disliked and had some fear of grandaddy longlegs. i've come to the conclusion that spiders' leg length is what does stuff-the longer the legs, the more freaked out i am
what if you got those bug bomb things? that should wipe everything out, but you'd need to prepare your house for all those chemicals (food, drinks, etc) and stay somewhere else until it dissipates
It makes me furious and grinds my gears up when people go off on others for very poor reasons. I don't like much of what a lot people do, but some people use there hate for man kind to just go off on innocent people.
This old lady, seemed so mean, rude nasty, someone made an innocent mistake that I saw with my two eyes and this witch just went off in quick a tirade about how much she couldn't stand people. Hating others because they happen to be human, is not going to get society anywhere. It hurts innocent people and then it makes everyone hate each other.
It makes me vindictive when I think people have poor reasons for hate. Like nationalist that live in every country who get mad every time they do not hear their countries main language. Or they want to get on someone with informal speech. It makes me purposely want to start speaking in other tongues more often to upset people, why so are furious someone is speaking Spanish? Or not speaking French Or speaking English. That type of stuff it makes me want to do the exact opposite when I see someone trying get down in peoples throats about such things.
This old lady, seemed so mean, rude nasty, someone made an innocent mistake that I saw with my two eyes and this witch just went off in quick a tirade about how much she couldn't stand people. Hating others because they happen to be human, is not going to get society anywhere. It hurts innocent people and then it makes everyone hate each other.
It makes me vindictive when I think people have poor reasons for hate. Like nationalist that live in every country who get mad every time they do not hear their countries main language. Or they want to get on someone with informal speech. It makes me purposely want to start speaking in other tongues more often to upset people, why so are furious someone is speaking Spanish? Or not speaking French Or speaking English. That type of stuff it makes me want to do the exact opposite when I see someone trying get down in peoples throats about such things.
gummybear22
Well-known member
with me, i don't think the US should go so out of the way to put everything in spanish. if you go to a country, I think you should be expected to learn their main language, not have the country conform to the visitors/new citizens.
This whole house rather needs a bomb dropped on it! Like an air drone strike. We're staying with my grandad because he goes into surgery tomorrow and we want to be by his side, so we're going to have to put up with the roach farm to take care of him. Spraying won't do jack, I just can't explain how nasty this place is, all of the the walls a rotting away and have black stuff all in them, many of the walls have greasy looking spots you can't wipe out.
I would have to take pictures, my grandad has a wife that doesn't like to clean, his old wife had this place spotless, but she died so many years ago. Oh my goodness. There is nothing no one can do, I feel so bad for my gran dad.
gummybear22
Well-known member
ohh i thought it was your more permanent living location. at least it's just temporary, hopefully he'll have a short recovery