and you see them just getting better at being part of society while you just stay the same?
Ever have a close friend and..
- Thread starter Day_Tripper
- Start date
Rise Against
Well-known member
Yeah my best friend was really shy like me... then he got a girlfriend and now hes not shy at all.
TheNewZero
Well-known member
My best friend in high school claimed to be shy too. She wasn't at all, at least compared to me. It was really frustrating being her friend because she would always complain about how hard it was to talk to people and how misunderstood she was. I felt like a total failure compared to her.
This is the end
No... because I've never had a close friend. lol.
No... because I've never had a close friend. lol.
gsmax5
Well-known member
I am sorry to say this is true. My best friend went to MIT, while I go to a community college. God I hate him.
Yeah, I've found that a lot of the reasons I was friends with these people were based on my own insecurities, I had a "we're in this together" mindset, and now the more comfortable around people and with themselves they become, the more jealous Am I a bad friend since I'm not happy for them?
Re: This is the end
Absolutley, The one person id describe as the closest friend ive had is different now. And people often change when you get to know them more. I dont actualy think ive had a friend whos as shy as me. And partly for that reason ive never really fully clicked with anyone, apart from maybe that one guy i mentioned, for a brief time when he was nearly on the same wavelength as me (although still not exactly)
Yeah i feel an appropriate thread title would be "ever had a close friend?" haha. Looking back the few people ive been "friends" with in my life have never been what i would consider a really close friend in all ways. I wish i had one, just one would do, I can imagine really clicking with someone and being able to feel totally at home around them and actualy hanging out, but havnt come across them yet. Looking at it the other way, oh well at least i can just do what i like to do by myself. I could have passed people on the street who could be compatible with me perfectly, but never know it because theres no connection between random people, most people would think you were mad if you tried, and the fact it would be very hard to connect in that way when youre not socially out going.
Absolutley, The one person id describe as the closest friend ive had is different now. And people often change when you get to know them more. I dont actualy think ive had a friend whos as shy as me. And partly for that reason ive never really fully clicked with anyone, apart from maybe that one guy i mentioned, for a brief time when he was nearly on the same wavelength as me (although still not exactly)
Yeah i feel an appropriate thread title would be "ever had a close friend?" haha. Looking back the few people ive been "friends" with in my life have never been what i would consider a really close friend in all ways. I wish i had one, just one would do, I can imagine really clicking with someone and being able to feel totally at home around them and actualy hanging out, but havnt come across them yet. Looking at it the other way, oh well at least i can just do what i like to do by myself. I could have passed people on the street who could be compatible with me perfectly, but never know it because theres no connection between random people, most people would think you were mad if you tried, and the fact it would be very hard to connect in that way when youre not socially out going.
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Violaine
Member
I'm 29 and all my friends are evolving in love lives, careers, and independence while i'm taking baby steps again. I've been doing the exact same thing for 5 years now, which is going to work, coming home, not doing anything productive and not saving enough money to move out of my parents home. I kind of question why they still want to keep in touch with me because i'm really not close with anyone anymore.
Walk
Well-known member
Every single person who i grew up around with who was shy or timid, even more than I was, is now sociable, confident looking, and needless to say all have had girlfriends in their past, and some are engaged for god's sake. I'm 23. I know I'm a loser but not yet suicidal because I have some sparks of hope for my future. I'm scared I'll stay like this for long though, and I'm starting to believe that even though I may have money in the nearish future, I'll never make friends or stop having anxiety. I mean, when I was 16, I was thinking that I was just in a rut that would only take at most a year or two to remedy... 7 years later, and I'm in the same boat, for the most part. A little more confident though and I'm in college, but my life currently as it is isn't worth it. Simple as that, it's not worth living.
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worrywort
Well-known member
yea, from about age 13-16 I watched my best friend change, as he started hanging out at youth clubs and drinking and smoking and growing up and doing all the stuff the other kids were doing, while I never got into all of that. Slowly, that natural flow that we used to have to all our conversations just started to ebb, and awkward silences would start entering in, and we just drifted after that.
dmsteyn
Well-known member
I had a close friend who, in many respects, I am glad I lost because of his growing self-confidence. The guy always used our friendship to boost his own ego; he was an emotional drain, like a gorged vampire of the feelings. Luckily we drifted apart when university started, as he decided to become a bloodsucking lawyer (I'm studying a BA degree, btw). I don't miss him at all, but I don't understand why SOB's like him develop all the confidence in the world, while ordinary guys like me (no, I'm not claiming I'm a saint or anything) get stuck with this horrible social curse.
pink_elephants
Member
definetely yes. back in high school (it was actually only one year ago) i had one friend and it was exactly the way you described it.
when i left school she just stopped answering my phone calls and my letters.
when i left school she just stopped answering my phone calls and my letters.