Ever had people laughing at you?(strangers/friends)

[andy316]

I have been trying to go out a lot now,and for the love of god I can't seem to figure out why strangers(men,women) laugh at me.There are people who know me but I don't and talk all sorts of stuff about me.Even my roommates talk weird with me and I feel thu don't have any respect for me.

Why?what did I do to deserve this?I just wish I end my miserable life and be done with it.

 

[hidwell]

I have been trying to go out a lot now,and for the love of god I can't seem to figure out why strangers(men,women) laugh at me.There are people who know me but I don't and talk all sorts of stuff about me.Even my roommates talk weird with me and I feel thu don't have any respect for me.

Why?what did I do to deserve this?I just wish I end my miserable life and be done with it.

life is hard and unfair, your room mates may see you as someone to intimidate. They do this to seem strong and in control, and to make themselves feel better by putting someone else down. Can you get new room mates, or you can try to stand up for yourself. This is easier said than done as confrontation is uncomfortable at the best of times.
Is their someone you can talk to a counsellor or member of staff. Even though it may be awful at the moment it will get easier in time, they say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Just hang on in there

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Every day is a learning experience. Capitalize on that instead of letting the days pass fruitlessly.

 

[theslowesthand]

I've had a lot of that as well, throughout my life. It's pretty "rough" alright, especially for more "sensitive" people (which most SA'ers are).

As powerfulthoughts said, try to regard it as something which you need, in order to "grow" as a person. So in effect, they are helping you (although they are probably unaware of this fact, at least consciously).

As long as it (the laughter/ridicule/etc) still "kills" you, then there is still (inner) work to be done, more learning to gain.

I know i still to this day, "cannot handle" when people openly mock/laught/etc at me, which is one of the reasons why i don't "live in society", but instead practically avoid all of it.

At the time, it is a MIGHTY challenge NOT to react to it. I think the key is to work on your MISbeliefs. For instance, it might actually be for them, rather than just cruel/merciless/animalistic attack, but more of a self-defence mechanism, they might feel nervous when you're around, and so joke/laugh to "lighten the mood" (rather than intending to make you feel bad). You know, that sort of thing. DON'T assume you know all about the why's & wherefore's of any situation involving people; people are very complex creatures, strange & complex, a combination of many different things, and quite a few contradictory & unexplainable things. So instead, you should ASSUME that you DON'T know exactly what their motives are, what they are saying, how they view you, how your "human worthiness" compares to theirs, etc, etc.

I'm dragging on here .. but i have hopefully given you a few points to consider, with the help of my past experiences

NEED (mistakedly pasted this word here, but will leave here, as a last word to summarise what i have said)

 

[deleted #89]

I've had a lot of that as well, throughout my life. It's pretty "rough" alright, especially for more "sensitive" people (which most SA'ers are).

As powerfulthoughts said, try to regard it as something which you need, in order to "grow" as a person. So in effect, they are helping you (although they are probably unaware of this fact, at least consciously).

As long as it (the laughter/ridicule/etc) still "kills" you, then there is still (inner) work to be done, more learning to gain.

I know i still to this day, "cannot handle" when people openly mock/laught/etc at me, which is one of the reasons why i don't "live in society", but instead practically avoid all of it.

At the time, it is a MIGHTY challenge NOT to react to it. I think the key is to work on your MISbeliefs. For instance, it might actually be for them, rather than just cruel/merciless/animalistic attack, but more of a self-defence mechanism, they might feel nervous when you're around, and so joke/laugh to "lighten the mood" (rather than intending to make you feel bad). You know, that sort of thing. DON'T assume you know all about the why's & wherefore's of any situation involving people; people are very complex creatures, strange & complex, a combination of many different things, and quite a few contradictory & unexplainable things. So instead, you should ASSUME that you DON'T know exactly what their motives are, what they are saying, how they view you, how your "human worthiness" compares to theirs, etc, etc.

I'm dragging on here .. but i have hopefully given you a few points to consider, with the help of my past experiences

NEED (mistakedly pasted this word here, but will leave here, as a last word to summarise what i have said)

Why avoid society? Don't remove yourself from the situations......like anybody else you deserve to live with others. We are social animals man.

 

[deleted #89]

I have been trying to go out a lot now,and for the love of god I can't seem to figure out why strangers(men,women) laugh at me.There are people who know me but I don't and talk all sorts of stuff about me.Even my roommates talk weird with me and I feel thu don't have any respect for me.

Why?what did I do to deserve this?I just wish I end my miserable life and be done with it.

This is the exact time to take the bull by the horns....things will not get better until you "experience" those situation and change the way you perceive them. Stand up for yourself and stand your ground. I know what exactly what you are going through. I hate that feeling too but that's all it is . A feeling.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

As for strangers, I feel that any little laugh as I pass by is directed at me--- but it probably isn't.

For the most part, people are busy in their own little worlds. Any stares or laughter that you may take as; "They're looking at me" "They're laughing at me..." "What's wrong with me?!", < chances are- they are not deliberately trying to make you feel bad or self-conscious.
Your mind will think they are, but it's important to remind yourself and tell yourself OFTEN; that people are busy with their own lives- you are busy with yours. And continue walking.

I say this from experience because I have this thought pattern.
It's extremely difficult to change the way your mind has trained itself-- especially when you have zero self esteem or confidence to begin with. I know.

The important thing to remember is that
a) people who have nothing to do with you are probably busy in their own lives
and b) people are people, just like you. They make mistakes, they have egos. Some will hurt your feelings on purpose. That's their problem; not yours.

 

[andy316]

Yeah,sometimes I get too hyper and talk random stuff.People say I don't listen well,and I talk too much stupid.

This is something I need to fix,but I feel like I try too much and get carried away.Maybe I should see someone and start taking meds to calm down in social situations.

 

[SAM2011]

You don't deserve to be treated like that at all. Don't end your life over them.

 

[MrJones]

Yes, a lot. Most of the times it's only in your head.

Other times, as I've been there, it's actually happening. I've had people laughing at me, people who knew me (not friends as I never had them) from school, poitning at me and laughing, making funny faces, throwing stuff at me, even rocks once. I still don't know why. I don't understand how they mind works, how can someone laugh at someone they don't know at all just for the sake of it, to seem cooler in fron of their friends. I don't understand.

 

[andy316]

As I see it,the people that leave my apartment are terrible.Yesterday I met people on the other door(next door neighbor) and they seem awfully friendly and people I can atleast hang out without being judged all the time.Why do I always end up with the worst people?Am I to stay alone for the rest of my life?

If there is a God up there,all I can say is:Why.Why am I always fcked over everytime.Don't I deserve some luck and support like others have?

 

[Feathers]

So Andy, can you hang out with the friendly neighbours?

There's not a law that says you can only hang out with people in your appartment, right?

Maybe god sent you the nice neighbours?
(What if you had terrible neighbours too, wouldn't THAT be worse-??)
Maybe later on you can move into a different apartment too? (When I was a student we could move every few times a year, no reasons needed - what are the rules/contracts where you live?)

People can laugh if they wish to be friendly sometimes, or maybe they can have bad sense of humor, or maybe even a grudge for some reason... or they may just have bad imagination re: what to talk about and may be rude?? (not brought up proper??)

I mostly had good roommates/flatmates luckily, most of the time... some people I knew were in 'bad' apartments and then moved... sometimes situation changed when new people came into the flat or such

In some cases one may have a hairdo or specific features/fashion/style, eg maybe you look like a known comedian/famous actor or such? Some people get PAID to get people to laugh!! Have you thought about stand-up comedy or drama/improv class or such?
Often, people LIKE others who make them laugh! Laughter prolongs life!!
There are ways to get more respect, again, drama or improv classes could help maybe, or assertiveness/communication class or coaching or such?

 

[montejocarlo]

"We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do."
- Olin Mill

It's probably not you they're laughing at. Or even if it is, they wouldn't be thinking about it the entire day. Not even for more than a minute. People have so many things to think about. They wouldn't obsess in thinking about you, I can assure you that. It would be no more than a fleeting thought for them.

And you know, people can think and say all they want about you... But ask yourself this question: Do other people's words and thoughts actually hurt you? Or is it you hurting yourself? Remember, your thoughts and emotions are yours, created by you. You can choose not to create pain for yourself. You can rest your mind from all the unnecessary noises. The choice is completely yours.

 

[9407]

Yes. Last June while I was waiting for the bus, I was checking out this girl that was waiting for her friends. When her friends came, she got on the bus and her and her friends just kept staring at me and laughing. I don't know what was so funny and I'll obviously never know, but I don't think she was saying good things about me...

 

[Etbow23]

i'm honestly sick of living too. not that i'm going to kill myself, so no one freak. but I'm just tired of all the bs. And plus sometimes I question the point.

 

[OceanMist]

I have been trying to go out a lot now,and for the love of god I can't seem to figure out why strangers(men,women) laugh at me.There are people who know me but I don't and talk all sorts of stuff about me.Even my roommates talk weird with me and I feel thu don't have any respect for me.

Why?what did I do to deserve this?I just wish I end my miserable life and be done with it.

I know i don't know you but since we are on an SA site I'm assuming you are similar to me in that we both give off a shy vibe and that is funny to outgoing people because they don't understand why someone is acting shy.

You didn't do anything to deserve it it's just one of the negative things that come with SA. It's best to just try to ignore jerk strangers and keep walking with your head up.

If your friends are really ticking you off, you may want to find a new group.

 

[andy316]

I know i don't know you but since we are on an SA site I'm assuming you are similar to me in that we both give off a shy vibe and that is funny to outgoing people because they don't understand why someone is acting shy.

You didn't do anything to deserve it it's just one of the negative things that come with SA. It's best to just try to ignore jerk strangers and keep walking with your head up.

If your friends are really ticking you off, you may want to find a new group.

Yeah I dont know what I ever did.

Like my current roommate just stopped talking last week.Dunno why,but I think he heard some stupid stuff about me(about how stupid or a loser I am) and just completely stopped talking to me.He was never like this and suddenly he is like this?

I just think there is something ticked off here.What am I even supposed to do in these situations then?They are completely off my power,and I am trying really hard to improve my SA and just get rid off it.But the more I try,the worse it gets.Thanks a lot mom(narcissistic personality and an SA as well),I just wish you had a miscarriage as well.

 

[R3X]

I get laughed at A LOT in a number of occasions like walking(very mr.roboto-like) but my number 1 reason why people laugh at me : Clumsiness.Yes.I'm VERY clumsy to the point I can accidentally hit my FACE smack on the glass door. hahaha

 

[Iluv]

I get you think people are laughing at you, but I'm sure it's not all what you think in some cases. Whenever I hear somebody laughing near me I tend to jump to conclusion and say it's me. Half the time it's not. It's just when you feel insecure or you think something is not really going well today it's normal to think it. Just think to yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, and if it's your friends laugh along to lighten up the mood.
If strangers are laughing at you, ignore them they are just mean and are laughing to feel better about themselves. You don't deserve to be treated like that if it's friends doing it. You need to tell your friends it's not funny and don't take it from them.

 

[nafadda]

everyone at one time or another prob has had someone laugh at them..not as if they need anyones ok when they can or can't laugh.

if you think they are laughing at you in a mean way ,then avoid them.

if they are friends and you like them perhaps learn to laugh with them..i mean why take everything as a personal attack or so serious..sometimes all it is is people laughing ,nothing more then that and after all just because you may not want to laugh doesn't mean they can't.

half the time i don't get jokes and everyone is laughing at the joke except me..all i would do is stand there ,,nothing odd about that to me..i just didn't get the joke,,it may have been funny,who knows,but i mean WTH...they were allowed to laugh.

actually more often then not it has actually NOTHING to do with the person that thinks it's about them.